I am just a human being and I have emotions, I do not deserve this eternal torture. The severity is just too much. I cannot help myself - no one can. My whole life - everything that I studied , worked hard for, my social life, my sleep, my emotional and physical well being are falling or felt apart already.
Nobody deserves it @Freerunner . But what pain you feel today might not be the case tomorrow. Life is not falling apart - even though it may feel so today. Its okay and normal to feel this way when you feel "trapped", but don't let those thoughts take completely over your life. Thoughts can often be wrong... For better days! Take care
You're in a terrible place right now. I know because I was there too. The most difficult part of it is that you don't know how long it will last and that there is no pill or easy fix. Tinnitus will teach you humility, acceptant, it will give you inner strenght and forge you in the fires of hell. It's going to transform you. Trust me, it's the most transformative thing I've experienced and I've been though a lot.
Most likely it will get better. When? Impossible to say. This is not something that you can reason your way out of. It's not possible to think yourself back to no tinnitus. And looking back, I have to say that feeling those emotions to the fullest is healthy and helpful - holding them back is bad. It's ok to be scared and in despair, because we're just humans and tinnitus is overpowering and alien in nature.
You will be in this torment for a while. It's hard to say how long. But it's not the end of your life and it's also not the end of life quality. Don't take bad news by proxy here. Instead, try to instruct yourself on how to keep a rational and positive mindset. Asking the impossible here but also remember that intelligence can get in the way of emotions sometimes. So embrace both and be prepared for a ride.
Never lose sight of your goal. If you have goal of silence again, imagine it every day and be thankful for what you have. You have 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 eyes that work fine. Your body works well except for this dreadful noise in your head. Then its only 1 thing we gotto fix. I have so many friends with CFS, MS and other obnoxious conditions, they are stuck in a wheelchair forever. You can still dance! Remember this.
@Lurius , do you remember asking not so long ago if you will feel like this for the rest of your life? And i told you that nobody really knows and that you might feel better in the future? Well...it happened. :) @Freerunner , just keep your head above the water. We'll see what the future brings.
I think the most important thing i should learn from this experience is that there are many things that i don't have control over. It's the hardest thing for me to accept. This is like quicksands, if you struggle and panick it will be more difficult to escape.
I used to be so strong and successful in life, I was achieving my goals with a steady pace. I enjoyed live. This ruined everything. If it stayed with the hiss from the onset 3 months ago I would be alright. But noooo - severe hyperacusis and constantly worsening tinnitus with 7-8 maybe 10 tones now constantly highering the baseline, spiking from a brief talk.
How many people on the forum have this constant worsening from out of nowhere? Not many I can tell you and bearing in mind here are the most severe cases. There is no hope for me for sure, I just hope you guys get better, I really do.
What @Steph1710 said! You are not the only one, Started with a mild EEE that got worse in April and continued to get worse for reasons I fully don’t know why. September is when hyperacusis started getting better. I had a bunch of indescribable and disturbing tinnitus noise, but a lot of them have gone.
I still have issues, but remember it’s a very slow and nonlinear process of upward progression. You will get there too. We all wish we could go back in time when our T was much more simple.
You can do this Freerunner! I know exactly how you feel, it is the worst feeling on earth but it is the card that we were dealt and we have to keep playing it, no matter how painful it is...We are with you here buddy so hang in there.
Every spike leaves a trace. Each one aggrevates a tone or develops a new one. I was doing okay after 1 month but i screwed up by going to the cafe where they played music loud for me. Since then, I damages my ears even more and they are super fragile. H is brutal for 3 weeks now and does not let go even a bit. Tinnitus keeps on worsening and adding new tones without noise exposure. I have 26362828 tones
For example, for the Previous week I got two constant tones, one really high pitched Is this a normal turnaround for 3 month tinnitus? My H was improving before the cafe visit, damn it... It was only loudness, now it is pain one and each sound , no matter the frequency is either irritating or causes pain
Before H got worse I arranged stem cells therapy but I will not be able to travel now... How do you think guys, should I take 4 hour bus ride to Belgrade? I can also go by plane for 1 hour... I am willing to do this I am just so afraid of the H... Please, any advice is welcome... @Stacken77 @[44099:@Exit@MindOverMatter@ZFire@Lurius@aura@Steph1710@Barry098
Stem cell therapy? How long have you had t and h for @Freerunner ? Improvement can appear even after 2-3 years, so I think such a treatment should be a last call given the results seem to be of a mixed character?
I think that sooner I try this - the better chances of something happening. I keep on worsening from doing nothing so I definitely have to go and do something about it. I lost my life and I doubt only waiting will heal me. I consider my case as severe and I have to take some precautions.
@Freerunner if you have the money to try stem cells, I say go for it. I certainly would have tried stem cells if I had that kinda money. That’s a luxury most of us on here can’t/won’t ever to be able to afford. But, just a few words of advice - you need to chill the hell out! Stress is the worst thing for T, & atm, your adrenaline levels must be skyrocketing!
You think most of us don’t know what you’re experiencing - we do. Many people on here have gone through exactly what you are going through. And I’m sure they will back me up when I say that you have to try and relax before doing anything too rash.
You’re not alone @Freerunner <3
Easy 4 hours bus over a plane going up and down. I feel your pain. I won’t comment on stem cells as I’ve never looked into it.
If you’re changing ever 1-2 months it’s still some hope..?
Update: I arranged a car to drive me - it is 400km drive, around 3:30-4 hours long. If I wear earmuffs, plus earplugs do you think I am going to survive without worsening of H in the span of 5 days?
@Freerunner the car ride will be fine with protection. At least after a day or two.
Are you just going there to get a consultation first..?
I would be very very careful...:/
@Freerunner you got tinnitus first time October 2021..?
If that’s so I think you should wait...
Try not accidentally blasting ears for a couple of months..
I was in a rollercoaster first 5 months. Got new tones and all the sudden it got really bad before it turned in 10 days time!
Then I got blasted...
I am only afraid of H getting worse because from my latest setback almost a month ago - no improvement at all. If I go there It will be for the procedure itself, not a consultation. I already did several zoom meetings with the doctors and discussed the situation.
My H was a mess first year. Now only bothers me if I get blasted. I can even do some nasty noises in a silent room. That’s been really difficult for me. Think closing plastic boxes , pills and dishes. Last 10 months I’ve had muffs on every time I go out except the forest. I hope you improve soon no matter what you decide.
@Barry098 , Injecting you with two different kind of stem cells . Delivery methods are IV and injections behind the ears. Also there are some additional therapies. But I am not able to travel physically. H got so severe that I think I am going to leave my job. I cant do it anymore.
Are you able to take a leave of absence from work? If yes, I would take at least 6 months off. If you are still not feeling well(unlikely) by then, then do what you have to do. Your health comes first.
I cannot take more than a couple of weeks unfortunately. My parents insist on doing the stem cells however I kept explaining them the severity of H and that I cannot travel now. They so not get it. They said that i will have to endure the pain but try to help myself
Comments on Profile Post by Freerunner