Pinhead

Same.

i have been writing in a diary every time i experience SBUTTs for almost 6 months now. I would say I average 3-4 per day. 10% of days I get 0. On a real bad day i can get 8-9.
Big blasts of T for 5-20 seconds and dizziness. Trying to find causes for good and bad days.

@cjbhab Interesting, maybe I should do the same.

It might. I’m not very hopeful. We have no idea when it will arrive.

Sorry for spamming your account. I’m so scared of dieing it’s insane and I have past my ability to cope. Worsening is constant. Blasting screaming T. It’s not a life.

@Pinhead - I feel your story so much. I can’t be around a fan but I go for bike rides. Walks, no protection. Just one for the wind. I’m an idiot. I feel like I just want to live and deal with the screaming T. I’m worsening at every turn. I keep pushing but feel like I’m hitting the gas on that one way street to that brick wall.

I go through these roller coaster rides. Feel numb then once in a while I get an explosion of depression in my belly. I think I and disassociated with what going on in order to survive.

Don’t be sorry @4Grace . We are suffering together. I feel like we’re racing to a red light, too. It’s hard. I try my best to be a bit hedonistic, at least, and live like I’m dying. That helps me.

You may certainly get a bit of a spike. But a little whiskey can certainly take the edge off stress.

Options are definitely limited.

I specialized mostly in phenomenology, existential philosophy (German and French) as well as postmodern, eg. Deleuze, Foucault, as well as contemporary stuff on technology and AI. I actually wrote a few papers on tech and social media. Most of my stuff dealt with Heidegger, but work dealing with him is a bit less popular now on account of the fact that, you know, he was a card-carrying Nazi.

But yes, Camus’ work was by far the most pliable and impactful for actual living. I think most philosophers have a tendency to avoid the “mundane” aspects of human life. He didn’t.

@ZFire fun fact: some of my profs knew Nozick well. Towards the end of his career he stopped defending his most famous book altogether because it had been so drastically misinterpreted.

Tinnitus specifically refers to the sound. That's its definition. It can be caused by various things, from damaged nerves to inflammation.

Superhuman but also a bit pointless

Is how I feel

All these treatments are BS for severe T.

I miss going to the library, but now I don't think I'll be caught dead doing that.

@crescentsky Funny you'd mention libraries. A friend of mine asked me to meet him in one. I looked at him as soon as I arrived and said, "We need to leave. I can't be around the forced air system in here." I can't even stand air conditioners or heating systems.

Agree. My wife misses our daily chats as I've become disabled by tinnitus.

@Pinhead @Jammer - I am in the same place. My heart breaks for you guys. My family thinks it’s mental health issues. I can’t do the noise. I cannot figure this out. It just keeps getting louder.

@Pinhead - wow. Your ears were okay after? Can’t believe we can’t even enjoy a movie.

@Kain I wonder what Vyke would do in our situation.

OMG I could never even consider going to the cinema. That will never happen again in this life. Having lunch in the canteen at work spikes my T so much that I am getting anxiety attacks. The movies? Forget it

So sorry. When it’s loud and reactive this thing is a beast

If we could just be normal and deal with stable T

:(. Sorry my friend. So sorry.

Well said!

The difference to other "problems" lies in the diabolical nature of chronic severe T: relentless, unpredictable, invisible, isolating, untreatable, incurable, unexplored, uninteresting. The perfidious and truly evil thing about it is that you don't have to die from it, but at some point you want to.

Yes, this is what I have @Kiyomi. @Barry098, that sounds closer to hyperacusis than distortions.

@Pinhead Hmm ok.
Are distortions and dysacusis the same?

@Kiyomi Yes, dysacusis is hearing distortion. Some people don't use the term dysacusis and prefer to just call them distortions, but they're the same thing.

I have distortions too and they sound like they're coming directly from the sound source. But some people hear them in their head.

Wish I could write something to cheer you up. I cried pretty much all day because my T has gotten so fucked, but what cheered me up later this evening was making suicide jokes with my sister. we laughed a lot. I had to laugh about this one guy who was in the news. He wanted to commit suicide by jumping in front of a train, but that didn't kill him. it only cut off his legs. haha

Be grateful for your gf and hang in there a little longer.. till the treatments are out..

@BB23 You can go back many years on this forum and see people saying "just hold on" for treatments that never arrive, or for ones that overpromise.

I know the feeling.

Such a spike will go away.

Sorry dear friend, think of you often and you aren’t forgotten.

So sorry

2 songs always come to mind for me.

Falling in Reverse - "Voices in my head"
Jelly Roll - "Need a favor"

Why oh, why I did not know about this site before? I tell people about T, because I wish someone told me about it. Most don't get it.

The world is indifferent…. Yes …. That one hurts. I am sure that I make everyone feel more grateful about their lives.