zatara92

zatara92

Member From Sydney, Australia
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  • zatara92
    I was able to enjoy music for the first time in 3 months. I felt like my inner child was alive again.

    These 3 months was one of the worst spikes I've had in my 13 years with T. I'm still at a complete loss as to what caused it, but I'm glad I've come out of the other side for now.
    zatara92
    I think I've habituated to this new level of T. I've been neutral or happy more often than I've been down the last 3 weeks. I went away to see my parents and that was good for my mental health.

    T is as loud as it was but I feel emotionally detached from it most of the time. At night it threatens to throw me into despair but I've managed to keep it at bay
    zatara92
    T still raging but my mood has stabilised. I'm by no means happy, but at least I'm avoiding the deep pits of despair I was feeling before. Except when I try to listen to music - that really gets me down.
    zatara92
    Feeling more resolute today. Despite the relentless and overpowering T now, I can remember that in the last 13 years I have had more good days than bad days. And on the best days, the T didnt matter one bit. That's got to count for something. I have to believe that I can make it through this hurdle. All I can do is take it one day at a time.
    zatara92
    Feeling really down. I'm so tired of having to live with this. The psychological and emotional burden of trying to be strong and carry on through every major spike has slowly chipped away at my resolve each time. It's so loud, louder than everything. Nothing can mask it. This is hell
    View previous comments…
    zatara92
    Thank you for the support friends. In the last 24 hours I have learned that it is ok to let go and cry it out sometimes. I am lucky to have a supportive partner.
    It may take months to habituate to this new increased T, and maybe I never will, but for now all I can do is to carry on
    Ken219
    "maybe I never will" it is day by day. You will habituate! We will HABITUATE!
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Right there with you!
    zatara92
    Extremely loud spike in T the last few weeks. I've been so careful this last year, I have no idea why it's so bad suddenly.
    zatara92
    Good days and bad days. T loud as ever but slowly habituating. Feeling down today. Music (my passion) doesn't sound good anymore.
    zatara92
    After 4 years of relative peace and normality, my own recklessness has made things worse than ever. Trying to stay positive, but its hard...
    zatara92
    My T has just become worse than its ever been but I wont let it win. I will make every effort to live as fulfilling a life as I can.
    Joe P. Tamborra
    Sorry to hear your T has become worse. I also had T start in 2012 as you; and there have been many good days and many bad during that time frame. Continue to hope and pray; and the Lord grant you grace and mercy for another turnaround.
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