T still raging but my mood has stabilised. I'm by no means happy, but at least I'm avoiding the deep pits of despair I was feeling before. Except when I try to listen to music - that really gets me down.
Feeling more resolute today. Despite the relentless and overpowering T now, I can remember that in the last 13 years I have had more good days than bad days. And on the best days, the T didnt matter one bit. That's got to count for something. I have to believe that I can make it through this hurdle. All I can do is take it one day at a time.
Feeling really down. I'm so tired of having to live with this. The psychological and emotional burden of trying to be strong and carry on through every major spike has slowly chipped away at my resolve each time. It's so loud, louder than everything. Nothing can mask it. This is hell