8 1/2 Month Report

Had my T for about 8 1/2 month. Just thought that I should write a quick update.

First a few words in general about T. I would categorize T in the fowling parameters.

Tinnitus typ:
1. You can only hear you T in I quite room or if you plug your ears
2. Most daily sounds would mask your T. It is easy to mask with withe noise or natural sounds. You can hear it in a low sound environmental but you have to focus for a few moments to really hear it.
3. Shower type. You can hear all the time. The only thing that really can mask it is the shower. You do not have to focus for a moment to tune it in. It is always there.
4. I do not know if there is a type 4. Would it make a big difference if you could hear it in the shower as well? I mean you only shower 15-20 min a day.

Then you have Hyperacusis and reactive T:
The way I would define it, is if you have H certain sounds would be painful. If you have reactive T it will aggregate in a louder environment like driving a car. It my stay loud for a long time after sound exposure.

Tonal, ringing, fluctuating and pulsatile.
Tonal is a pure tone. Ringing is changing a little in its tone but it is the still very regular in its pattern and always same tones. Fluctuating is more unpredictable in its pattern and involves more tones. Pulsatile is pulse related.

Pitch:
T could be from a few 10 hz up to 16-18000hz. A normal hearing test goes from 125Hz to 8000Hz.

Habituation:
There is 2 stages. First one is where your T does not affect you at all. And I mean no negative thoughts at all. The second stage is where you habituates so well to you can´t hear it as long you really focus on it. I try to convince myself that stage 1 is as good as stage 2. I can´t see way it wouldn’t. If it does not affect you at all it is just a part of the normal you. Besides I also believe aiming and thinking too much of stage 2 is your biggest obstacle for not reaching stage 1.

My T is shower type, only left ear, ultra high pitched around 12000 Hz, fluctuating and on top of that also reactive.

How I got it:
I really know do not know. It is not noise related. It started last October as a high tone. I few days after onset if was stupid enough to climb a mountain. I ended up in a snow storm with a strong cold winds in my left ear for half a day. The situation was quite stressful. Some days after the trip a cleared my left ear from a massive wax blockade. This combo did set something of that I still do not have a clue of even today.

What I think the reason to my T is:
I really do not know. I could be an inner ear damage or a nerve compression problem. I do not have any problems in general with my cheek or neck but if I bite hard I can create a high pitched sound for a few seconds in my left ear. It doesn’t trigger any sounds in my right ear.

So back to my status

On the good side:

All my panic atacks is gone. For the first 3-4 month I basically hade to nock myself out with drugs.

I do not have any sleeping problems. It is strange. In the beginning I thought this would be the hardest part. Now I just go to bed, relax and fall asleep. My reptile brain don’t consider my T to be a threat anymore.

My hearing is just fine on both ears.

I do not have any more days were it is just a big struggle just to get out of bed to the shower once you get out of the shower you just want to get back to bed and vanish.

I quit almost all of my meds. Bonzos and SSRI. Do not think that SSRI did too much for me. Benzo was a big relief tough. Liked it a lot, but as with a lot of good things in life you have to be careful. Feels good to manage without most of the times.

I do not have too much problems to focus anymore, meaning that I am almost back to normal at work ect.

I can be totally unaware of my tinnitus for shorter moments like 15-20min. This is typically once I have a good dinner with my family and friends or once a really focused doing something.

I do not let my T control my life and I pretty much do the things I did before T.

On the negative side:

I am pretty much aware about my tinnitus 24/7.

I find it hard to just sit down, relax and be happy with life. I feel some low level intensed depression. Like I always have a cold wet towel over my head.

I have a lot of not productive thoughts like, way me? What I would do when I get rid of my T (which I know it most likely not will happen) and how easy life would be without it.

I spend far too much time trying to figure out what happened and what I can do to get some relief.

I feel disappointed because my T does not seem to improve over time.


Way is my habitation so slow?
I have a lot a friends and family with type 1 and 2 T. They all get along well and never think about their T. I do not really understand way it is so hard for me, guess reactive typ 3 just take a long time to learn to live with.

All the best to my T fellows out there!

 

Hey David.
You could have written my story although I am think you are in front of me regarding progress.
Also T onset in 10/13. Shower type, high-pitched dog whistle in my head. If it goes down a litle bit, it is more in my left ear. I function in normal life 80-90%. I work, but had to make some adjustments: I work in IT support and because of high tension,anxiety and depression, I work in the background. So I help my colleagues with my experience and long-term knowledge.
Like you I am aware of my T 24/7. And I wonder how others with T do not care about.
I think it has a lot to do with how you got it and how loud it is. But also how you cope with illness.
Some people just accept, some fight against things like crazy.
Regarding your thoughts I have absolutely the same. In particular when I have a good time, I think why do I have such a crap?
I am sure you will see mor progress and accept your T more and more.
And it will become a non-issue in your life.