A Girl Who Finally Found the Courage to Join This Site

[harleyquinn]

I have been lurking around this site for a while now and found it very helpful. I am super nervous to make this post but I feel like sharing my "story" would be good for myself and I am tired of trying to cope alone; none of my friends can actually relate to this. Feels weird to explain "tinnitus-depression" to people who haven't experienced it! (I am an 18-year-old girl.) I apologize this rather long text and my language (English is not my first language..)

More than a month ago hell broke loose.. I started Accutane and got weird sensations in my ears; stuffyness and new noises. And here's the thing: I wasn't even sure there was any REAL problem! I drove myself crazy reading about side-effects of that drug. I stopped the medication but the crazy obsession that my ears weren't okay stayed. I listened to them all the time, 24/7, and got more and more anxious and depressed. I felt the worst I have ever been and the worst insomnia of my life struck me. Finally a short course of Opamox and a beach vacation put an end to it. I feel like the worst is maybe behind, maybe not.. I'm still constantly anxious about these noises and falling asleep is very hard. I'm now rather convinced that I wasn't just making up these new noises. I have high-pitched buzzing or chirping (hard to describe) in both ears now (started at other first..) and the weardest low humming or rumbling, almost pressure-like feeling (like coming home after clubbing and silence "rumbles") I only hear when in silence.
I just want to learn to ignore this and stop listening to my ears all the time! I know it's possible, it has to be. Everything feels just so damn difficult right now, sometimes I just feel quite helpless and sad.

(Beeping noise in left ear started years ago, made me lose my sleep for the first time but I got used to it. Sometimes it's not there, sometimes it becomes one louder continuous sound, other times just quiet beeping. ENT found nothing in my ear, hearing is normal.)

I would be super grateful for any replys,, or anything..I don't even know.


(((Additional ear-related:
I have a history of many years of ear infections as a child and I had tubes in both ears etc. I have always been super sensitive to loud noises, even the "normal" ones like vacuum cleaner and table-ware for example. Sometimes even my own voice sound very loud in my head! Not to mention loud music at bars and movie theaters.. I only recently learnt about hyperacusia, maybe I have it on some level? I have always been using ear plugs, since 5th grade music lessions, and I ALWAYS use them at conserts, clubs, movies.. Few weeks back I left movie theater 'cos it felt too loud, even with earplugs on. I just got super anxious feeling about my ears getting damaged. I fear that I'll never dare to enter cinema or gigs again! (Just bought Rise Against tickets yesterday..) I listen to music on headphones very quiet, according to everyone who has ever sheared headphones with me.)))

 

[Hudson]

@harleyquinn

First of all, your English is very good and you shouldn't apologize for it. Hell, it's probably better written English than my own and English is my first language!

Second, I have the high pitched sounds and the low rumbling in silence that you describe. I'm not sure what it's indicative of other than the fact that we have tinnitus!

Depending on how loud the sounds are, you should be able to habituate relatively easily. It sounds like you're having a rough patch with the anxiety and insomnia, which are unfortunately common co-morbidities with tinnitus. Have you seen a doctor about your anxiety/insomnia issues? A lot of times, if we can treat the anxiety the tinnitus becomes more or less a non-issue, at least that is the situation in my case.

It sounds like you're doing everything you're supposed to be doing in terms of hearing protection. However, it just seems like some people have more sensitive ears (yourself and me included), and we may be prone to damage even if we wear hearing protection. I would suggest limiting your exposure at first, and seeing what kinds of sound levels you can tolerate without aggravating your tinnitus, and then working from there. It doesn't hurt to take a break from the clubbing or concert scene for a little while to get your bearings straight on your tinnitus.

 

[Lorenzo74]

Hi @harleyquinn and Welcome to the forum...

So many younger people coming on with T and related conditions like hyperacusia.. I hope one day not too far we will all find some relief from this situation..

In the meantime try not to focus on it too much.. Keep busy with different activities and hanging out with friends and family so you won't have too much time obsessing over it... Do try some masking sounds when falling asleep as it will help to relax, maybe use supplements like magnesium as they help many of us... Look around the forum for other tips and information and when really down have a look at the success stories as they can help getting less depressed about it..

I for one do not listen to music with headphone anymore as it can definitely affect your ears, and to be honest I haven't been in loud places anymore, but I guess we are all different so just try what you feel best for you...

I really wish for you to get better soon and keep positive as T isn't the end of life, and with a bit of luck it will resolve by itself anyway, or at least you will surely habituate as most of us do...

Take care of yourself and your ears

Lorenzo

 

[harleyquinn]

@Hudson @Lorenzo74
Thank you so much for your kind responses!
Felt so good just to share my thoughts with people who actually understand It is true that keeping busy is helpful, I just happen to have "bad" situation since I graduate next week and for months I have had nothing productive to do instead of this worrying: no school (I HAD intended to study for uni entrance exam but this spring got a little fucked up ), no job, no rutines.. Parents have been very supportive, they both have tinnitus too and the doctors I went to for sleep problems know about this anxiety; I have access to psychologist if I feel like I need it, so far I have just counted on my family's support.. I'll definitely seek for help again IF the bad insomnia makes a comeback *fingers crossed*.

I just ordered wireless SleepPhones for sleeping and hope they will provide me some ease for nights to come
I will surely stay here lurking these forums. I wish you all the best!

 

[attheedgeofscience]

I just ordered wireless SleepPhones for sleeping and hope they will provide me some ease for nights to come

Melatonin, 6mg ½-hour before bedtime is an option as a sleep aid. There may be counter-indications for young adults, however; still better than becoming dependent on the various types of anxiety-medication out there, for instance...

 

[Richard Wallace]

Hi harleyquinn, thanks for sharing your story and what you're experiencing. It's good for us T sufferers to share our stories with one another in this forum so we don't feel so isolated and anxious. Stay connected with the forum for further support from others who know what you're experiencing and can empathize with you. You're not alone...... God Bless...... Rich

 

[Jessikweh]

I have the beeping noise in my right ear!!! I've actually never met another T sufferer with the beeping & I have the pressure feeling / rumbling especially when coming home to a quiet house. It's very strange. Have you tried ginkgo? It didn't do anything for me but it has helped some people, it might be worth a go if you haven't tried it. I promise you will learn to live with it, it'll just take time. Keep yourself distracted & stress-free. The more you try to listen to the T, the louder it will be. I hope you feel better soon

 

[gillgreen2]

Thanks so much for sharing your stories. Comforting to know I am not alone. Strength to everyone.

 

[harleyquinn]

@Jessikweh
Yes, that rumbling especially is very strange! An I have never heard of ginkgo, I might just check it out now

Thank you all for your encouraging comments!

 

[Danny Boy]

I have been lurking around this site for a while now and found it very helpful. I am super nervous to make this post but I feel like sharing my "story" would be good for myself and I am tired of trying to cope alone; none of my friends can actually relate to this. Feels weird to explain "tinnitus-depression" to people who haven't experienced it! (I am an 18-year-old girl.) I apologize this rather long text and my language (English is not my first language..)

More than a month ago hell broke loose.. I started Accutane and got weird sensations in my ears; stuffyness and new noises. And here's the thing: I wasn't even sure there was any REAL problem! I drove myself crazy reading about side-effects of that drug. I stopped the medication but the crazy obsession that my ears weren't okay stayed. I listened to them all the time, 24/7, and got more and more anxious and depressed. I felt the worst I have ever been and the worst insomnia of my life struck me. Finally a short course of Opamox and a beach vacation put an end to it. I feel like the worst is maybe behind, maybe not.. I'm still constantly anxious about these noises and falling asleep is very hard. I'm now rather convinced that I wasn't just making up these new noises. I have high-pitched buzzing or chirping (hard to describe) in both ears now (started at other first..) and the weardest low humming or rumbling, almost pressure-like feeling (like coming home after clubbing and silence "rumbles") I only hear when in silence.
I just want to learn to ignore this and stop listening to my ears all the time! I know it's possible, it has to be. Everything feels just so damn difficult right now, sometimes I just feel quite helpless and sad.

(Beeping noise in left ear started years ago, made me lose my sleep for the first time but I got used to it. Sometimes it's not there, sometimes it becomes one louder continuous sound, other times just quiet beeping. ENT found nothing in my ear, hearing is normal.)

I would be super grateful for any replys,, or anything..I don't even know.


(((Additional ear-related:
I have a history of many years of ear infections as a child and I had tubes in both ears etc. I have always been super sensitive to loud noises, even the "normal" ones like vacuum cleaner and table-ware for example. Sometimes even my own voice sound very loud in my head! Not to mention loud music at bars and movie theaters.. I only recently learnt about hyperacusia, maybe I have it on some level? I have always been using ear plugs, since 5th grade music lessions, and I ALWAYS use them at conserts, clubs, movies.. Few weeks back I left movie theater 'cos it felt too loud, even with earplugs on. I just got super anxious feeling about my ears getting damaged. I fear that I'll never dare to enter cinema or gigs again! (Just bought Rise Against tickets yesterday..) I listen to music on headphones very quiet, according to everyone who has ever sheared headphones with me.)))

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/keppra-worked-for-my-hyperacusis.8946/

 

[bigal1000]

I'm just getting to know this problem and it is depressing me right now, not sleeping and loosing weight with worry I try to tune it out to no avail. I'm lost right now. Your story is giving me the courage to keep going I guess that's what we need to do. Best of luck to you, I'm so sorry to hear it is happening to you so early in your life, I'm 67 and I now thank god for those years of quite.

 

[Kopesy]

Howdy @harleyquinn

That low rumbling sound you describes sounds very similar to the newest tone I've found. It almost sounds like a machine humming but it's just as much as feeling as a sound for me.
I've often wondered if I was making up these noises myself. A few months after I first heard it, I started to try & convince myself it's in my head, that it's brought on through some stress or anxiety. I got my ear syringed because my 'good' ear was blocked & that coupled with thinking it was stress actually cured it for a few days! After becoming increasingly worried it might come back (covering my ears every moment I could to see if it was there..) I started noticing it again & it hasn't stopped since..
I do, like everyone else, think anxiety really effects how we react to it. I've started thinking 'have I always had this noise & never noticed it...?' Who knows? =p

For sleep - Camomile tea. Sweet dreams.. Ha!

 

[LillianLexicon97]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who experiences a sensation with their T! It's not around all the time thankfully.

 

[starlite]

Sorry to hear about your tinnitus.
But i did not know tinnitus is a side effect from using Accutane?
Well I hope you get better soon .