Between the Tinnitus and the Hyperacusis, I Don't Know How to Cope...

I realize it's pretty quiet in this section of TT, but I'm having a very bad day and I need to vent before I explode or pop a clonazepam and I don't want to do that as I am tapering.

First of all, I have barely slept for two days. I have been taking nightly walks and wonder if it is increasing my T? It has definitely increased since I decided to leave my bedroom and rejoin the living. I know some will dispute this, but my T can be reactive..it will react to noises as in, go, "beep, beep" loudly in sync with a ticking clock..or other sounds..

However today it is the constant bells in both ears and hissing in my right ear too, that woke me up out of sleep. I am sitting in silence because I am now becoming afraid that maybe I have overexposed myself to normal noises, thus making my T increase.

My laptop is acting up, and it's hard to type, but basically I am in hell and going crazy. Everyday it seems like my H and T change and it has definitely gotten worse since onset. I have not been around any LOUD noises.

I can't continue this way.

Also, I have noticed something odd..when I awake in the night and use bathroom or whatever,sometimes, it seems like my T and H are not there anymore??!! This happened last night, but within minutes,the T got SUPER loud...it has now gone down a bit, but still there and I know it will get loud again tonight and tomorrow morning..like clock work.

My doctor gave me remeron, I am afraid to take it. I wish I had not used clonazepam for my nerve pain, and now I wonder if it caused this..however nothing I can do now..but I am afraid of meds..Also I took advil last night, could that of increased my T?

I don't know how to do desensitization and think I am making myself worse. I feel like I am trapped in a hopeless situation until I can hopefully do TRT, but what if before then I become worse?

 

Yeah, I know how you feel. It's like I experience an auditory assault on Oct 31, 2013 (that's my date). It's like something decided to flip a switch in my head and go, ok...NO FOR YOU!

I've also noticed that the tinnitus sometimes imitates sounds, why I don't know. There are days when the tinnitus is nothing more than a light buzz which is ok. Why it changes to this kind of whistle hiss thing other days I have no clue.

Normals sounds are fine. I suggest using sound enrichment with some sound you like, crickets, water falls, rain, whatever so not create this type of silent-tinnitus contrast.

Yeah, I experienced something like that last week. I woke up and went to use the bathroom and had silence. It wasn't until I laid down to go back to sleep that the tinnitus slowly faded in. I believe this is a positive sign. It's evidence that with the correct protocol that tinnitus can essentially fade from awareness.

However, my hyperacusis has improved. Except those damn stiff plastic wrappers on things like whole grain bars still bother my ears. Probably another two months and I'll be back to normal.

It's ok...we are all going to make it.

 

Thanks Neo, was starting to feel quite alone on this board. Some days are just harder than others. Good to hear your H has really improved!

Yea, those wrappers are like knives, piercing!

 

think paper bags urgh!

 

Yes! The beginning of my left ear problems started by tearing a potato bag open. This is before I really understood H.

 

Street Spirit,

I am sorry you are having a bad day. I hope you have better days ahead, and feel sure you will.

There will come a time when you won’t care whether doing some normal activity – taking a walk, listening to music at a moderate volume, exposing your ears to normal sound, going to dinner or to a movie with friends – increases your tinnitus or not. I know that must seem like an impossible place to reach at this time, but most people with tinnitus get there over time, and there is every reason to believe you will be one of them.

I agree with you that you can’t continue this way. I'd like to write about an approach you have already started to take, and encourage you to continue taking that approach.

We can either let tinnitus happen to us, and react each time it does, and feel more and more frustrated as a result, or we can take action. One way to take action is to pursue a tinnitus management program such as cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness=based cognitive therapy, Tinnitus Retraining Therapy, Neuromonics, or others. But there are other ways to take action that can also be very effective and cost nothing.

For example, when you decided to get out of your bedroom, you took a decisive action. When you began to take walks at night, you took another important action. You may have mixed feelings about taking these actions, but when you did, for that period of time you were not passively letting tinnitus happen to you.

When we are struggling with tinnitus, we may have a lot of thoughts and reach a number of conclusions that are not in our best interest. At the same time, it is human and understandable to draw conclusions about the impact sound can have on tinnitus (or hyperacusis). For example, in your post, you wondered if taking walks at night has increased your tinnitus. You were aware that tinnitus had increased since you left your bedroom and perhaps you had second thoughts about doing so. You described how you were sitting in silence because you were afraid that exposing your ears to normal sound increased your tinnitus.

While it is understandable to draw conclusions when we are having a rough time with tinnitus, it is also the worst time to draw a conclusion and buy into it. When we buy into some of our conclusions and consider them to be factual, all too often we end up feeling even more desperate and afraid. And that is why it can be so important to take action in another way, that is, by challenging the conclusions we are drawing and by reminding ourselves that while these conclusions may feel true, they may not be true.

Just as we can passively let tinnitus happen to us, we can also passively let our thoughts and conclusions happen to us, and assume they are facts. A better alternative is to get into the habit of shining a light on our thoughts and the conclusions they lead to – and see what comes up for us. Doing so can be another important way to take action.

I think it is real important for you to be examined by a doctor who knows how to diagnose decreased sound tolerance and can administer the tests to help make that determination. I realize you are concerned that you want to learn how to do desensitization, but it is important to keep in mind that the strategies to treat decreased sound tolerance come in several flavors. To adopt the right strategy for you, it is incredibly important to first know what you are dealing with, and therefore how to treat it.

Please keep in mind that it is not necessary to wait to do TRT (or any other approach) before you find out what you’re dealing with. Not waiting is another form of taking action.

here2help

 

Encouragement and kisses Lynn

 

Lynn
Sorry you are having a real 'bugger' of a time; I remember my first weeks/months (a year ago when my T hit). I know how dark those days are (I'm truly sorry for what you are experiencing) -- it took me to my knees (2 x nervous breakdowns); I hated going through the acceptance of having T (it really made me angry/frustrated/nervous/anxious and a host of other negative thoughts/emotions). I just wanted out of the whole situation! Nonetheless, finally accepting it was the first/best/fundamental step toward really coping.

You WILL prevail and you WILL get your life back (for really, really). My T is screaming at me right now and I just can't bring myself to react to it. I know that sounds weird (it quite possibly is weird) but it works. I will never like my T and I will always think it quite odd; but I just don't react to it anymore (other than "well, that's weird"). You will get there too.

I will keep you in thought and prayer.

Until then, hang in there and keep coming back to this site (you can vent all you want -- no worries, I understand and I'm sure all the other folks here do too).

Mark

 

Thank you everyone for your kind words. I was doing fairly well, until last night when I received terrible news (crisis level) in my immediate family. It resulted in anxiety and an hour long talk over speaker phone. I now have H back pretty well and worsened T. My head and ears are ringing/buzzing/hissing away. It's quite miserable, but I am more concerned with family issues at the moment. I read everyone's responses carefully and truly appreciate being a part of this wonderful community.