Cannot Seem to Relax!

Hi
I am mid-twenties male and I have mild tinnitus..
the tinnitus doesn't bother me much anymore..
I started to take st john's wort last month (a natural anti depressant, recommended by "Neil bauman - Otototoxic drugs exposed")
3 weeks since the start of the drug, I started to feel feelings of restless.
It's like my body wants to run but my mind wants to stay right here. It's a feeling almost identical to anxiety, it's just global, without any reason. But the bad part is that I started to develop anxiety towards this feeling..
I am constantly shaking my legs, I feel like a dog who can't cool himself down. This is much worse than the mild tinnitus, I can't imagine living like this even a few more days ahead. I'm stuck at the bed all day long because the bed feels the most calm place I have and doing anything other than lying down triggers this feeling.
I've started now to taper off the st john's wort, but it will take a few more days to reach zero. But my psychologist is telling me it's the depression that does this feeling, that my depression had worsened, and not because of st john's wort drug.
I am constantly thinking about the future, I'm feeling like a mental train wreck, I'm almost imaginging myself putting myself into a mental hospitalization, Im sure this how drug addicts feel. It's the worst kind of feeling. and I'm scared that if I will use psychiatrist drugs which are benzos now (for an example, clonazepam) It will only get worse after a few times of usage.. not to mention the tinnitus will get worse as well.
I'm constantly imaginging the catastrophic timeline where I'm using psychiatric drugs and it makes a difference but in half a year stops working, and then they will have to make a surgery in my brain and to put some anti-anxiety electrode in there. or living my life as a complete mental trainwreck!
Is this like tinnitus, a feeling that never ends?!
I've been away from work for two days because of this..
does anyone have experience with this thing?
I can't imagine living this life like this. oh my god.

 

That sucks man, I know that you've probably read about this a million times before but I've found that diet, exercise and being social are the best ways to deal with my crap. And by that I mean sticking to a strict schedule, getting into the gym 3/4 times week, going on runs 4 days a week, getting out and about with my friends as much as I can and making sure I'm getting a ton of good food in me. I know as soon as I get complacent and start to slip from being healthy, my mind goes to sh*t. So if you're unwilling to go the medical route (which is great) - try make some lifestyle adjustments, if you haven't already.

You could also try supplementing with vitamins, and stuff like 5htp which I mentioned in another thread, 5htp will increase serotonin levels in the brain and can be useful with depression and anxiety, stuff like l-tryptophan will do the same thing, these supplements in particular aren't ototoxic and adverse effects are rare unless you go crazy with the dosage or have a particular sensitivity to it.

 

Sorry to hear that coloured, good advise above from yonkapin. Hope you feel better soon.

 

I just can't find the energy to go to the gym and to run..
Pleease I need help

 

This is where you need to force yourself, just do something, anything! Whether that means just dropping to the floor and doing a few push ups, sit ups or going a quick walk around the block! Go on a solo trip to somewhere you like to hang and just get lost for a moment. Or get together with some friends and do something random. Read a book, clean the house, talk to family, go start an argument with someone, scream into a pillow, dance, etc! Get fired up and do something that's going engage you enough to distract you from the way you feel. Put yourself out of your comfort zone! You need to break out of whatever pattern you're in at the moment.

I get into slumps all the time where I slip, get lazy and start to let things get to me - it's scary but I know that as soon as I push myself into something that pulls me out of that mentality, even if it's only for a short period of time, it makes a tremendous difference. It takes practice and patience but it works.

I'm just offering advice that works for me though, and I totally understand that everyone is different here and has different coping strategies. So, if you're really struggling with things and really can't find the energy for any sort of exercise or to get out and about, then don't be afraid of finding a good doctor to help you with your issues. As people have mentioned in other threads, stuff like Remeron seems to be pretty safe for people with tinnitus and seems to help with depression/anxiety. Going on benzo's short term, under guidance from a good doctor and using common sense is fine also, it's only when things get into the long term spectrum with benzos that things become messy.

Anyway, hope you feel better soon mang.