Concentration Problems and Difficulties Being Simply Myself After Tinnitus

I'm struggling to be able to concentrate properly. Since my tinnitus onset I'm not able to think or be my old self. I'm simply 'not here....' I used to be a great chess players, played against LM's and IM's and win regularly. Nowadays I can't see anything. Can't calculate or concentrate like I used to. I'm simply not myself. During the day I easily get irritated and angry with the most minimum annoyance.

I seem to care less about everyone else and only focus on my daily tinnitus nightmare. The other day a mate of mine sprained his ankle, I felt sorry for him, but I just wasn't really there for him. Thinking in the back of my mind that I'm worse off than you. In a week or two you're gonna be running around and having fun and me on the other hand I don't know what cruel reality will be waiting for me. That's what tinnitus does to you. Scared not knowing what is round the corner. Another crappy horrible life changer.

People that have managed to habituate did they also manage to concentrate, be themselves afterward? Will I have to give up the game for ever? No serious-deep thinking any more? The only thing left is ping-pong and doing cardio like a mad-man?

 

Yeah, people who successfully habituate, which are the majority, tend to be able to go back to their old lives.

Perhaps tinnitus retraining therapy could help? There are a lot of coping methods mentioned here. Hopefully your tinnitus isn't roaring loud and you'd be able to forget its existence.

 

It's not roaring loud, I mean I can hear it nearly over everything but it's not a jet engine where there's no escape. Not focussing and trying not to think (bloody complicated) about it has helped. I'm 71 days in. I guess I just need patience... Got a psicologist who is trying to make this thing my 'friend'....! Thanks for your reply

 

I think you'll be fine. You'll probably work well with TRT if you feel you need it. Also, sometimes habituation can take half a year. Be patient.

 

I felt this way a lot in the beginning, I thought i would never go back to my old self again...felt like everything was obsolete. Eventually once I hit rock bottom, there was no where to go but up...now i am 100% back to who i was except for avoiding loud places. Just give yourself time, itll happen.

 

Thanks, it's just a very hard complicated mental road up ahead. I'm on my way, but the ups and downs are just a pain. I whish I will be able to play my life-long hobby as well as I used to. I mean when you're competing, you have to be like in a library. Complete silence so that you think and concentrate as well as possible. No distractions... Right now that's not an issue. Don't get me wrong I'm not a zomby, but i'm like distant from what I used to be. Thanks for your advice, and one again, patience...

 

Yeah, I know what you mean, I was laying in bed 24/7 absolutely petrified to get up and do anything else. Reading didn't help, TV didn't help, video games didn't help...i could hear my T over EVERYTHING...i took 20 showers in one day just because it was the only thing that drowned out the noise. If i was breathing i was crying, i lived recklessly for the first 2 months...no seat belts, didn't care how many sleeping pills i took, didn't care if i was eating expired food lol =P
That first 2 months were very trying, but slowly things got better. Not gonna lie, before it gets better it gets worse =[

 

The first month I started smoking again, some times reached to two packets and now cut down to less than one. Probably gonna get a couple of speed fines for not thinking/remembering where the speed traps are. This is even costing me money and making loose points on my driver's license! I guess, some time in the future I'll be loughing at this, but right now this is nothing to lough about! Anyway, thanks

 

hey bro, I have been tortured by T for over 10 years, and I am in the field and business that require high concentration (stocks trading and others).

If you are an athlete, you got your leg injured, and you managed to finish the race, you will get a round of applause and respect. For us, it is simply hard to tell anyone what we are going through. Even worse, we try not to tell opponents that we are having concentration problems (that will be used and manipulated by other players)

knowing you are a chess player, I can relate your struggle, for real.

Being part of the T sufferers, I know all those shitty console won't help; though I wanna tell you, someone is here sharing the similar struggle as you do!