Driving My Bus - Is This the Way for Me?

Discussion in 'Dr. Stephen Nagler (MD)' started by Ida N, Nov 2, 2014.

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    1. Ida N

      Ida N Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      Hej Stephen,

      I really want your advice.

      I'm a 27-year old young lady. In March I became a mom to a beautiful baby boy. The love of my life! About 2 months ago I caught a severe head cold and my baby did too. I can still remember how upset, tired and exhausted I was. Months with lack of sleep and no time by myself had really "gotton to me". I had no energy left!

      Then one night during my head cold my ears started ringing and I totally panicked. I was from the very first moment sure it would never go away and my life was ruined. Looking back my reaction was very much over the top (to put it mildly), however, I probably had a post birth reaction and now tinnitus became a physical symptom I could hang my hat on. If it makes sense? It was the straw that broke the camel's back ;-) I went to an ENT who did a thorough investigation, an audiogram and tympanometri. My hearing was perfect and my middle ears functioned normally. He told me to "forget about it" and that it would subside in time. Easy for him to say!

      Now two months have passed and I still have T in my head. It switches from one ear to the other during the day and is mostly in the back of my head. The frequency and level go up and down. Ever since my T developed my life has been a rollercoaster. I couldn't sleep the first month, had suicidal thoughts and several panic attacks a day. I had to take 1-2 benzos to make it through the day and AD's (first Fluoxetin, however, it didn't help and have now started Mirtazapin).

      A couple of weeks ago, I decided that T shall NOT take my life. I have SO much to live for. A wonderful husband and the cutest baby boy. I don't need benzos any longer and feel like the Mirtazapin is slowly working. I try to do all the normal things I used to. Preparing dinner, playing with my son, grocery shopping, spending time with my friends. It's hard, but I know it's necassary. To "drive my own bus"! And wow, sometimes I don't hear the T at all and I forget about worrying for very short amounts of time. Especially if I concentrate or talk woth people.

      However, my real problem is still my thoughts about the T and the past two months. If I do something else that doesn't really need my concentration (for example watching television, walking the pram or doing the laundry) and try to enjoy my life like before it's like my mind goes: "Hey, don't forget about the T!" and "Hey, don't forget about worrying!" It's so frustrating! So my question is: Is there a good chance it will get easier? Is there a good chance I won't notice the T for longer periods of time if I just continue my life? I sure hope so! I really, really hope so! I want to "take back my life" and be able to enjoy it again and be in the present in stead worrying and listening for my T while living.

      All the best,

    2. Dr. Nagler

      Dr. Nagler Member Clinician Benefactor

      Atlanta, Georgia USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      Yes. Please remember when you visit sites like this one that they are predominantly populated by the small minority for whom it has not gotten easier. What you see here is by no means a fair representation of the tinnitus community at large.

      Yes again. And if given a little time it doesn't seem to be happening for you, then there are a number of highly effective ways to facilitate that process.

      Moreover, there is still a very good chance that your tinnitus will simply resolve on its own.

      Now, Ida, go hug your husband and that beautiful child of yours ... and tell them both how much you love them. Doctor's orders! :)

      Dr. Stephen Nagler
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