Feeling Low Today

I had a really good night with it last night. The loud high pitch ringing I hear in my right ear wasn't there, the constant hissing underneath that was though. I turned my fan off to sleep for the first time in two months, and I really thought it might be getting better.

However as soon as I was up and about the ringing came back. I was doing a lot better and now feel like how I did at the start.

I am meant to be in cornwall at the moment with my mum and best friend, but I am currently doing hyperbaric oxygen treatment and I wanted to keep it up, so I'm going down late on Wednesday instead. It's probably just because I have been on my own for the past three days and am feeling really lonely when I should have been there. I hate that this has stpped me doing things, still only 22 and should be enjoying myself. Was meant to be my year this year, should have moved in with my boyfriend a few months ago and that didnt happen either, can't help feeling like this has robbed me of everything good that was meant to be happening in my life and now instead of those things I have tinnitus... great swap.

Just feel so down about everything again. Wish there was something we could all do about it, sick to death of crying all the time and thinking of what my life should be like now compared to how it is.

Sorry for the rant, feeling sorry for myself. Hope your all feeling a bit better than me today.

 

I'm considering going to the gp for anti depressants/ anxiety drugs, but I'm worried about them being addictive and coming off of them. Any advice would be good.

 

Keep at it Shelley. Turning the fan off was a big step forwards, and you should think about that more than the noise itself. I think when you listen for it, you'll always find it, but keep making those steps forward and refuse to give in to it (easier said than done, but the fan is a big deal I think - you really gave your T the finger).
DD

 

Thanks everone, I managed to keep it together today, but now I'm sat here crying again. I feel like my 3 relationship is about to fall apart and theres nothing I can do about it, like theres nothing I can do about this tinnitus .
I was meant to be living with him now and instead everything has completly fallen apart. I just feel so sad, can't bear the thought of having to go through a break up as well because of this. Hes the only support system I have and I don't know how I will cope without him, and I'm only losing him because of this.. it's all just such a vicious circle. I don't know how I'm going to go back to uni in a few weeks and hear about how amazing everyones summer was, and all I have done is sat at home and cried.

I hate this so much, I hate what it has done to me/my life. I wish for it to get better for everyone. My mum keeps telling me to stay positive, but with everything I have been through in the last 4 months (tinnitus is just a horrible cherry on the cake, I think it's probably stress induced) it's really hard to see any positives or any light at the end of the tunnel.

I might try hypnosis to help me cope I don't really want to rely on meds, my mum and brother are on them and I always wanted to not need them but I just feel so broken.
More than anything I hate that I have done this to my mum, she has been through enough and I have always tried to be the rock.. now I'm completly falling to pieces. I want to move far far away and just never come back. I just never realised how easy it is for someones live to change so quickly and harsely for the worst.. can't help thinking of what should be..

Sorry another depressing message.
My good ear now has a constant tone in it aswell which has cropped up in the past few days, and I just feel thrown back to where I was when I was maybe just starting to make some progress.

There needs to be a cure for this and fast.

 

Meds aren't necessarily permanent; think of them as a crutch for your brain. You need to get yourself through this first, as a priority. Go see your doctor, please, and get the anxiety sorted. The anxiety is a lead weight dragging you down and stifling all your other efforts to get back on track.

You *will* get through this, and you *will* be well again.

The other ear is likely getting a tone because of the sheer concentration of attention you're giving to your ears at this time.

Your mum will only be worrying like any mum would for their child, and perhaps she's feeling OK about being able to provide some support back after all you've done for her. I know my mum falls over herself sometimes trying to do things for me, it makes her feel needed etc. It's the natural order of things; mums worry about their kids and they expect to. Let's take this off the list of things you need to worry about.

The cure you're looking for is for your anxiety and then habituation. In fact, sorting the anxiety will go a long way to reducing your perception of the noise.

Keep us posted on what's going on.
DD

 

Thanks DezDog I find your replys really helpful and they give me a that bit of hope that I very much need at the moment!

I think I will go to the doctors. My brother takes meds for his anxiety and has suffered from panic attacks and my mums been on antidepressans for years ..so I guess I'm probably more prone to it somehow.
I'm off to Cornwall for a few days tomorrow, so hopefully that will help to take my mind off of it. I just wish this new noise would go away.

I will let you know what I decide to do about the meds

 

Thanks Erik I did mean to let you know I have ordered some 5HTP, I will see how I get on with that and if I still feel like I need some extra help might get something stronger from the docs. Did it do the same for you as prescribed medicine?

Thanks for the hopeful message, I do hope it will get better.
Starting tomorrow I am giving up on looking for a cure I am going to get on with my life the best that I can and I'm not going to let this ruin me. If I need a little help along the way than so be it.

I have read the last paragraph of you first message over quite a few times and I choose to get on with my life also.
I don't think it will be easy, but what other choice do we all have?

 

Erik, thank you so much for the post from Victoria Tinnitus Association. I really needed to read it, to day is the worst day I have had so far in the seven weeks I have had T. I printed out a copy for to have near by to read when I start to slip.

I have always been a positive person, but do slip once in awhile like everyone else here. I have fought cancer and won, had two heart attacks, have diabetes, and now this past may had open heart surgery, they had to do a 4 way bypass, got through all that just fine. I credit it to thinking like Jerry. I make a conscious decision to accept what I have and roll with it.

If I have bad days, I think about the good days I have had, and I know better ones are coming. I too am seeking various treatments, if they work fine, if not, well, it's not the end of the world...