How to Deal with This Bad Day

Discussion in 'Support' started by amandine, Oct 22, 2014.

    1. amandine

      amandine Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      july 2014
      Just wondering if anyone had any ideas.
      I have become a nervous wreck from someone who took it all in my stride before.
      T is very loud screaming in my head and I cannot sleep.
      I do not want to take medication.
      I cannot do the things that I used to enjoy cos of the T. Going outside to do the things in nature was my favourite thing to do but I can no longer enjoy this due to the noise in my head - makes me too nervous to be able to sit still.
      Living in rural france with little else to do apart from the nature things.
      Cannnot get involved in voluntary stuff as there is nothing going on around here. Due to finanacial distress, cannot afford to drive far to join any potential groups or voluntary stuff.
      No employment round here. Paperwork too daunting and bureacratic in france to consider opening a business plus too expensive due to high taxation - especially if dont make any money - still have to find the money for the taxation.
      Stuck in france in a house that I hate....Just moved here (unwillingly) and the T started loud the first morning here in the very quiet garden. Was supposed to be a temporary move for a few months until could get things sorted to try to return to UK after 5 reasonably unhappy years in france. Now feel stuck, cannot leave france etc...and am stuck in this house day after day.
      Was quiet a few times but has steadily gotten worse.
      I am totally consumed by this. It is all I do all day.
      Speak french etc but finding it dificult cos I cannot concentrate.
      There is no such thing as therapy or TRT here in france.
      Local doctor was downright rude to help....just wanted me out of office...after he got the money for the visit to him (altho he did not do anything for me and kept on talking about him and how busy he is etc....and then told me in french that he doesnt get many pigeons like me!). So now have no doctor.
      Went to hospital 2 days ago in city (40kms each way) for an MRI of head - standard practice as I have unilateral T.
      However once there I could not go thru with it. I was way too worried about the noise factor and also about enclosed in a tunnel. On Saturday my T was quiet and had been on a 2 day bad and 1 day good cycle. However on the Sunday it went up probably cos I was anxious about the MRI on the following Monday. On the Monday morning my T was thru the roof. Continued like that all day. Spent an hour at the hospital trying to find solutions to the ear protection that I was so concerned about. Spent all Sunday evening trying to roll the rubber ear buds and then plant in ear canal. However was totally incapable of doing this and getting them in ear canal with good seal.
      Took them with me to the hospital thinking that they would be experts in this and would be able to roll and insert the buds for me plus give me some head set as an extra protection. Nothing of the sort and after an hour they told me to forget it and leave the hospital and that i was too stressed to do the MRI. Even the MRI operator told me that the noise level was dangerous. Apparently up to 115 decibels. So bottled out. Have new MRI arranged for mid November...dont know what to do...
      Anyhow now back home and the T does not seem to have gone back down.
      I am incredibly nervous.
      Please @Dr Nagler, I have read your posts....but there is no TRT here even if I were to beg borrow or steal which is also out of the question. I know that you said some of these good TRT people under special circumstances will take people on without payment or by payment slowly over time and that it can be done by skype. Please can you ask for me amongst your colleagues or suggest a name and contact email and or phone number that I can try please.
      Otherwise I am totally bxxxxxxd cos try as i might i dont think that I can do this on my own here...
      Friend who I live with and who is totally bored here as I am, asked me today if I would rather be blind? He also asked me why am I nervous - it is just a noise and wont kill me. So he understands nothing then!
      Any ideas or advise please can I have run out of coping strategies.
      thank you

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