I'm Doing What I WANT

Discussion in 'Support' started by Phones, May 11, 2016.

    1. Phones

      Phones Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      ETD/headphones ?
      Just a few notes to drop into the positivity pool , most of these thoughts realised before the T appeared.

      After lurking for a few weeks , the best info I've seen that works for me are rooted in the neroplasticity role....
      Excuse me , I'm no certified life guru, well no more than any other 49 yr old who's had a bit of life experience, a little story to tell...

      I know very little about the neuroscience just my own experiences that have helped me through the ups n downs.

      This is without a doubt an EMOTIONAL journey / challenge.

      I tell my son I'm 10,000 yrs old( he understands what I mean now) just like Dr who I say.

      So I trust my instincts. I don't like being told what to do , I'm an antiestablishment BORE !

      There's a Milan Kundera book I read years ago that helped me grow and get through some tough times. If I remember corectly there was a romantic/ EMOTIONAL thread in the story with references to emotional pain being felt in the stomach. Of course, butterflies and knots . This is where we feel the pain no ? Ok it consumes the mind too but a bit of both.

      Trust your GUT feeling , your instincts . I AM the doctor . I AM the Wizard , the wise one.

      My gut feeling before this all started led me follow my own path and do WHAT I WANT to do . It's a bit of a personal mantra . No I haven't been hiking through the Himalayas or riding rapids in NZ.

      If doing WHAT YOU WANT Is nothing, then so be it .....

      What do "YOU" WANT to do....?

      Back to T for a minute...... Ok so I have this mantra , I talk to my hands (people think I'M the mad one so let's reassure them :) ) .... I'm doing what I want ! I'M DOING WHAT I WANT !

      Ok so this is my mantra anyway , but I'll lay this about a little more , bear with me.

      Don't get me wrong I was weeping in someone's arms just the other day , in a good way I guess , all the LOVE on this forum left me somewhat whelmed ,add to that my new found pesky shadow.

      Ok I'm still going on about it ,bu t as a kid it wasn't easy at home , I could have emotionally destroyed, but somehow thanks to my own SUPERPOWERS. And the LOVE of others I did what I wanted to do.

      After some thought last week. I've kind of attached the T to the negative stuff that was going on back in the day. I try to see T as no more an Emotional threat than that which bore down on me then.

      My SUPERPOWER subconscious helped me back then, I had dreams of flying (really flying ,, absolute potency !) it's only recently I realised how this connected with the Emotional bully in my waking life.

      So back to the very little I've read about the neuroplasticity whatever you want to call it , I'm a BELIEVER!
      Just a GUT INSTINCT. My 10,000 yr old subconscious instinctive mind helped me then, why shouldn't it now ?
      Gonna wrap this up soon.... Just want to add. I've read no self help manuals apart the TAO of pooh way back ( The drip drip drip of wisdom), I've broken down in front of the Doc years ago but never had. AD's or counselling and my name is Shaun by the way. I have zero social interaction online , it's only the inspiration I've found here that has compelled to compose this .... This ...thanks for reading.
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    2. AUTHOR

      Phones Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      ETD/headphones ?
      So what I' m saying is what do you want to do? Particularly relevant if you're down or moping around dwelling on the old nag nag nagging ..
      An example .. My old man wishes he could play an instrument. I play a little myself and and tell him he CAN . No need to wish and wait ... It's so easy ... Erm here's a guitar now make one arm movement and set yourself on a rewarding , Mind consuming path.
      Reach out one arm ( I can't make this any easier) and pick up that book you always wanted to read, a pen / pencil and paper , draw or write ( I don't care how crap some else may think your art is) most importantly are you doing what you want to do ? For your own good you better had be !
      Look , I loved the creative subjects at school but wasn't allowed to further them as chosen subjects ( not that it lessened my interest in creativity of sort) and guess what 35 years I've started my first naive oil painting . Guess what ?I've been wanting to do that for some time now , there's no time like the present particularly if you don't want to listen..NEVER LISTEN for the old T ... The harmless Rottweiler chained to a post out of reach behind you.

      Hope this helps.
    3. Path Maker

      Path Maker Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Love your outlook! Welcome to the forum. I agree: Do what you wish to do in life! Your one precious human self is here to live out your purpose. It's up to you to go for what you want, from deep within. :)

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