Introducing Myself — Tinnitus for 12 Years, Stopped My Musical Studies Because of It

[Bartoli]

Hi,

I'm a long-time reader of the forum. I had tinnitus for about 12 years, and stopped my musical studies because of it. That was a very tough call to make at the time, but I'm glad that it helped in that tinnitus stopped bothering me as much after a while (took me 1+year). Now I teach and that seemed to be working fine. In February while doing supervising some students detonated a firecracker indoors. I happened to be there are about 3-5 m distance and had a mega-scare. Went on steroids and 10 sessions of HBOT. Got all the tests. No measurable hearing loss for my age (33) but one ear is down 25 dB at 4 or 6k. Don't remember exactly. Speech in noise was good. I have no doubt my tinnitus is caused by noise and have been saying for years that audiograms are too crude a way to measure anything really. I can't seem to pick my life back up. I hear tinnitus over many sounds like TV, outside, in car etc.

It's a high pitch hiss. Crickets mask it, and the shower too. I'm not doing well. I'm annoyed by it any time I hear it, which is very often. I hold some cautious hope for future treatment, because at the moment I feel like I just hang in for the children. And even at that I'm not doing great as I can't always be around them when they're loud.

Thanks for reading. We're all in this together but it can sure be lonely!

 

[Daniel Lion]

Feel your pain. Welcome to the forum.
I am so sorry to hear your story.
I had to stop teaching because my hearing damage is too severe.

Do you still teach?
You need to protect your ears now and let them heal.
If you are still teaching, would it be possible to get some sick leave?
Bartoli wishing wishing you the best... big hugs

 

[Bill Bauer]

What impact did that firecracker incident have on your tinnitus? Have you experience any fading of that spike?

 

[Star64]

Sorry to hear you are having a difficult time with your tinnitus again after 12 years. Hopefully you can habituate to the noise again so it does not bother you so much. Sounds like you can mask it though, I know you do not have any trouble hearing but you could get aids just to mask the noise if this would help you.

Perhaps you could try and get a free trial of some. I know I have tried them but they did not help me, but many others wear maskers and find they get relief from them. Your children sound like they will keep you busy, it might be hard to be around them when they are noisy but they are a great distraction, and this may actually help keep your mind from focusing on your tinnitus.

 

[Bartoli]

@Daniel Lion: I still teach. It's small groups though. Even with my old tinnitus I couldn't stand the noise of a big classroom. I don't know if sick leave will help as the prospect of sitting at home frightens me. Teaching distracts me somewhat.

@Bill Bauer: it's as if my old tinnitus just got louder ever since the incident. I haven't noticed fading in 8 months. Mornings are better after sleep. Evenings are the worst. Can't relax or watch TV with my wife. Hear it over/alongside TV and can't focus. It's also because of the pitch I guess. Being on Tinnitus Talk takes my mind of the ringing, but then again my tinnitus is the very reason I'm on here so tinnitus is never far away.

@Star64: I'm not sure about hearing aids. I mask with my smartphone sometimes but the masking gets fatiguing after a while. I feel like I can still hear speech well enough and am somewhat reluctant of hearing aids as they amplify sounds. High pitched sounds in the region of my tinnitus are uncomfortable if too loud. I guess I have hyperacusis as well but not confirmed.
Thanks for your kind words and help!

I forgot to add. Sometimes it's as if sitting somewhere quiet is better than having background noise compete with my tinnitus. As if low volume music or speech only makes the contrast bigger. Anyone else get that?

 

[Daniel Lion]

Everybody's tinnitus is different. You're stronger than me. Make sure to explain the rules and your expectations to your students so you don't get hurt. Definitely bring foam plugs to school, and ear muffs if there is a fire drill. Be careful, and good luck.

 

[dan]

You don't have the world's loudest tinnitus by a longshot. So don't worry, you will soon enjoy life once again.
I had tinnitus like yours once and thought the same that mine was world's loudest... I was sadly mistaken, very sadly so.

 

[Bartoli]

You don't have the world's loudest tinnitus by a longshot. So don't worry, you will soon enjoy life once again.
I had tinnitus like yours once and thought the same that mine was world's loudest... I was sadly mistaken, very sadly so.

Thanks for the kind words Dan.

I recently got checked out by ENT again. My tinnitus is essentially unmaskable in medical terms. She said mine was loud because the loudness matching procedure said so.
I haven't turned a corner on my tinnitus yet as you say. In fact my reaction/tinnitus gets worse. I am now on sick leave off work due to being a nervous wreck and having suicidal thoughts. I can't fathom ever going back to work at the moment. One year into my worsened tinnitus. Still into a tailspin. I don't know.

 

[dan]

Thanks for the kind words Dan.

I recently got checked out by ENT again. My tinnitus is essentially unmaskable in medical terms. She said mine was loud because the loudness matching procedure said so.
I haven't turned a corner on my tinnitus yet as you say. In fact my reaction/tinnitus gets worse. I am now on sick leave off work due to being a nervous wreck and having suicidal thoughts. I can't fathom ever going back to work at the moment. One year into my worsened tinnitus. Still into a tailspin. I don't know.

May I suggest a vacation...
Also I see you talking about skiing/snowboarding just recently, so that tells me things arent as bas as you make them to be....or am I missing something.
Try to suggest to @PeteJ to go downhill skiing and see his reaction.

 

[Bartoli]

May I suggest a vacation...
Also I see you talking about skiing/snowboarding just recently, so that tells me things arent as bas as you make them to be....or am I missing something.
Try to suggest to @PeteJ to go downhill skiing and see his reaction.

Comparing is not the point is it? It has taken so much from me already and I feel my quality of life is severily impaired due to anxiety around loud sounds and the general annoyance and despair about my tinnitus which I cannot escape.
I have been on vacation since my worsening of tinnitus. I can't make myself look forward to it, my wife does all the planning as I don't have the attention span for it and ultimately I'm just going through the motions but it brings me little joy.

 

[dan]

Comparing is not the point is it?

The number ONE determining factor to tinnitus severity and habituation is, TINNITUS LOUDNESS.
So called "tinnitus experts" will tell you it is NOT...but then that is why we don't have a CURE yet.
Why did you get a loudness match? Is it not "comparing" your tinnitus loudness to others?

 

[Bartoli]

The number ONE determining factor to tinnitus severity and habituation is, TINNITUS LOUDNESS.
So called "tinnitus experts" will tell you it is NOT...but then that is why we don't have a CURE yet.
Why did you get a loudness match? Is it not "comparing" your tinnitus loudness to others?

It was part of the audiological examination for tinnitus. It gave me some proof that I'm not just someone blowing his mild tinnitus up to bigger proportions due to psychological problems.

 

[DebInAustralia]

It was part of the audiological examination for tinnitus. It gave me some proof that I'm not just someone blowing his mild tinnitus up to bigger proportions due to psychological problems.

Irrespective of volume, if it bothers you, it bothers you... hugs.