My Positive Story and Insights to Habituation

Do I understand correctly that with proper habituation you ignore your tinnitus (or your brain ignores it) and your life goes back to normal but whatever hearing loss you've had doesn't come back?

 

I flip flop between not caring and being happy, which I guess is habituation, and being so annoyed by this that I could care less if I just died. It's like drowning in depression and getting a gasp of air from time to time because it doesnt kill you.

I'm not sure that habituation is a permanent brain switch that stays when it happens. It's like any other thing in life I guess.

 

@JohnAdams
By that definition you’re not fully habituated then yet? On your way though? I have friends who have it and it never bothers them, even when it’s screaming loud. They notice the volume increase but still don’t have a reaction to it- they neither find it pleasant or unpleasant and it’s only in their thoughts when they choose to think of it.

 

My own best guess is that the reason there are people who aren't bothered by tinnitus is because tinnitus vibrations don't reverberate in a major way throughout their brain and neurological system. -- For people who find it almost impossible to habituate, it's just the opposite, with their ears, brain, neurological system, psyche, etc. experiencing major reverberation 24/7. Sometimes the best they can do is "manage it", with habituation being nigh near impossible.

 

Yes. The hearing loss is another story, I think it can heal to an extent, and there are new treatments to even repair the tiny hair cells, but not yet to the point where they can heal all hearing damage.

I've been there! Try to view the downs as something positive, this is the place where you continue to make habituation happen. Allow your focus to the tinnitus, allow the difficult emotions and allow the negative thoughts to flow by like you're just observing them. Then you are showing the brain that there is no threat, there is nothing wrong, and the internal noise is unimportant. At some point listening to the tinnitus will bore you, and at some point listening to it will be difficult because it's just to pointless and you just don't care about it. And even later you might not even be able to find the noise anymore if you try to listen.

In TRT, and from talking to audiologists at the place where I had the TRT based therapy, they say that the type of tinnitus, the sound, the pitch, the volume, the reactivity, doesn't matter for habituation. It's very personal in how long it takes though. You know there are people that are so distressed by the sound of their own swallowing it takes them years to habituate to that again. I also believe that if I'd found out about how to allow it earlier, I would've habituated much faster.

 

OneTimePoster It is CaliMike. I know i am writing early before my two week check in but i feel i have no one else to talk to who understands. I know you dont have a miracle for me and i am not expecting anything from you or anyone else here. It has only been two months for me. The last five days feel like my first five days the T level and my brain vibrations giving me headaches. I have not done anything different that i am aware of. My family has tried to be helpful but because there is nothing they can do, i since them moving on and away from me. Im getting tired very easily and drained of energy. I bought some CBD oil today hoping it will help with the brain vibrations.
It is hard for me to have much hope at this moment. I am a 49 years old. I graduated from my university with honors. I have been self employed all my life until recently when i came back to the United States and took a job for the government. People i knew and my family would call me to help them fix problems or help them with their business so people expect me to be able just deal with anything. But i have to admit this is beating me. I am not myself. I hold back a lot of tears. I feel like breaking everything around me. I am engaged to be married but she is still overseas and has not seen me the way i am know. She knows but she has not seen me since this has happened. At this point i dont know if i can have any kind of normal relationship.

I am sorry that i dont have anything good to say. I normally find hope when other have none. I am lucky that i got to travel before this happened to me. Maybe this is a set back or a low point. Forgive me if you read this looking for hope. I did have some day better than this but i cant tell you why those days where better and these are not.

i will post again in a week and i will try and have something positive and helpful to say. Best of luck to everyone, Mike

 

Hi @Calimike -- In my first couple of weeks or so of tinnitus onset, I couldn't sleep more than 5 min. at a time, and would then wake up to screeching tinnitus about 3x louder. Maybe got 30 min. of sleep on average a day during this time. The first thing that worked for me was taking Tylenol 4. I feel quite certain it was the codeine in it that finally allowed me to sleep. Even though I only took 1/4 tablet, I was able to get several hours of sleep that first night.

I've since discovered mHBOT helps immensely, much more so than codeine. When I first got into an HBOT chamber two months after tinnitus onset, I almost cried at about the 30 minute mark when my body and psyche were somehow able to "let go". At the time, I feared whether I would ever be able to relax again. But in that HBOT session, I experienced a degree of relaxation I hadn't been able to come even close to in those first two months. -- I now have my own home mHBOT unit.

Mike, I've had a chronic Lyme Disease for many years, which wreaks havoc on the brain and neurological system. I've come to believe that if I can get as much relief as I have from regular (almost daily) mHBOT use, then people without Lyme or other chronic infections would likely do just as well--or even better. -- In case you might want to check out some of the posts I've made on mHBOT, here's a few links. -- All the Best!

mHBOT Link 1
mHBOT Link 2
mHBOT Link 3
mHBOT Link 4

 

Hey! You are right, these are the setbacks that are part of the process. They are truly the hardest things I ever experienced in my life, there were times I hoped I would never wake up again. I feel for you. BUT they are not bad things, they are needed for recovery. These are the times when a lot of progress can be made. If you can stay with all the difficult emotions and thoughts, allow the focus on the internal sounds, allow the internal sounds, allow the emotions and allow the negative thoughts to flow by. Watch them and let them drift by. Try to see it all as the very difficult, but very positive mechanism of recovery.

I had the headaches too, and a tension in my neck which prevented me to even too to the side without turning my enire body. I felt constantly very sich. Also completely drained of energy. Try to allow all of this too, try not to resist it, but let it all change you. Your body want the best for you and if you manage to give it the space do do it, you will be on the best road to recovery.

I always felt much responsibility in the lives of my loved ones, and not being able to be there fully for them scared me to death. But the priority should first be yourself, like the airplane instruction to first put the breathing mask on yourself, then on your child. If you take care of yourself, you ARE taking care of your loved ones. You could try to force yourself to be good to others, but that forcing will soon bring you down and then you can't help anyone anymore. If you want to be there for your loved ones in a sustained way which gives you energy too, then first look after yourself.

You know, a positive moment that changed my recovery for the better was when I was in a really low point and a friend came to visit. He asked how I was doing, and I tried to explain to him how hard it was to exist at that moment. It feels not done to cry in front of your friends as a man, I think it's culturally, the way we were raised. But at that moment I just didn't care anymore, I just wanted it all to end, and I cried until there were no tears left. After this I felt so extremely tired and drained, that the only thing I could do was sleep. Then after I woke up again, I felt so much better, I felt so much lighter. I learned how important it is not to keep emotions bottled up, let them out with the people you love. You will strengthen the bond you have with them in the process. It's hard to overcome those social norms, or whatever they are, but they are not always good for you.

Hope this helps you, be kind to yourself during this dark and difficult journey!

 

@OneTimePoster - Thank you so much for sharing. So much of what you wrote I can completely identify with. In a nutshell, my T was noise induced about 11 years ago and the only way I could describe it was a freight train running through my head. Initially, it was the worst 3-4 months ever. However as you said I slowly did habituate to the point about a year later it really didn't bother me. I would sleep with a fan but that was about it. Furthermore, it stopped bothering me mostly 99% of the time for the next 10 years. I would only be aware of it if I found myself trying to sleep somewhere in a completely silent room with no fan, sound machine, iPhone app, etc or if I focused immensely on the noise in my head. Fast-forward from 2007 to 2018 - I was working out last September on the treadmill and since T no longer bothered me I had forgotten (over the last 10 years) that ear buds could damage your ears--I've been using them for the past 3 or 4 years. I was running on the treadmill listening to music through apple ear buds when all of sudden the volume of my T increased significantly. This was different then the occasional spikes of sound that you may have that last 5 or 10 seconds then disappear. I knew this was different. It took me back 11 years to when I initially got Tinnitus. Its persisting these past 4 months at a much higher volume. Kind of like I habituated for 10 years and then BOOM, major non-stop spike again and a re-do/start over. It was bad, I couldn't sleep, couldn't concentrate, couldn't work very well. I turned the sound machine way up and it made it worse. Many sleepless nights the last 3-4 months. Its now month 4 and I feel like I'm slowly finally again getting control of it. It's been rough. It's brought me physically to my knees. I agree with every comment above. I'm just now starting to get sleep. There was a stretch of 4 days initially 4 months ago that I only got 30 minute to 45 minutes of sleep each night 4 four days straight....I felt like I was slowly eating my life away. Anyways - I'll post again as I get through this year. I'm surviving. I keep telling myself Ive done this before. I've beaten this (by habituating) before - I was 26ish... i'm now 37. It freaks me out that I was so past this and then BOOM, 11 years later I have a major drama with T again. I will never use loud ear buds again and I will never not wear ear protection at games, sporting events, chain saw work,e tc......Warning to all, be careful with the sound induced Tinnitus and even if you have habituated, it can come back like it has for me if your not careful with noise... This is 11 years later.... Thanks again for everyone sharing.

 

From what I've read on this forum, it sounds like you might do better to never use ear buds again, no matter how loud--or how soft. -- Best...

 

@Jarin Maurer Thank you too, be sure to let people here know when you are through this difficult period again! Any insights can help others too I hope.

 

T date 11/24/2018
My two week up date.

I wanted to thank OneTimePoster and Lane to recognize my situation in my time in need. I wanted to start off with some positive things. My sleep is good for this time in my progress. I still use a fan and water noise at night to sleep but i am ok with that. I also got back to only using a fan at my work desk. I do my best not to mask any other way. When this first started i masked 24/7 with earphones. My ringing is usually between 7-10 in loudness and i hoping one day it will get down to a 5. I find that if my brain doesnt have the vibrating feeling i can handle the noise much better so my last set back had a lot of brain vibration. My guess is it trying to make it adjustments.

I have done Craniosacral therapy twice but im not sure what i should be getting out of it. It helps me relax but the noise is the same. The therapist works my entire body. Is that normal?

OneTimePoster is a gamer so i started play World of Warcraft. LOL 12 Level now night elf. I am always working on being kind to myself and keeping each day as simple as possible. I am still taking my vitamins and im trying to drink at least 4 bottles of water a day.

Lane i am not familiar with mHBOT. I did some reading on it. If i stop making progress i will come back to this idea of yours. I am really grateful for your input.

I will try and have positive words in my next update. Anyone's advice is welcome. I hope my updates in the future will help other.

May peace be with you, Mike
Next update in two weeks.

 

@Jarin Maurer Have you had your hearing tested? I am curious if you have any measurable hearing loss in the tested frequencies.

 

@Watasha - When I initially experience this event, 11 years ago or so, yes I had my hearing tested from a specialist. I will admit however, I had not come to grips with what was happening. When I got in the sound proof room, and the technician put the head phones on me, I basically cheated on the test. Emotionally I couldn't take the news that I might have hearing loss or need hearing aids, etc. (I was 26 or so and just didn't want to deal with it). So basically I raised my hand everytime I heard the noise or thought I heard a noise as he tested me as it got softer and softer. There was a point, where I knew he had played the noise, but I couldn't hear it, but I raised my hand anyways.... I know its weird I just didn't want to take the news. Fast forward to today- I've been pretty careful, I have not noticed my hearing impaired. I am very sensitive to loud noise however...But I have not been to a hearing specialist in 11 years...I would be curios and if I decide to go (which I am more emotionally ready for that news) i'll update here.

 

@Jarin Maurer Thank you for your reply. The initial noise induced from a decade ago, would you mind sharing what exactly happened?

 

@Watasha - So yes, 11-15 years ago I would listen to music via headphones as I worked on my computer at work. I didn't realize this but the volume of the headphones was very loud, for years, every day as worked. Stupidly of me, I never protected my hearing, anywhere. It never was an issue, loud noises, etc., guns, music, sporting events, etc. So for 4 or 5 years I listened to loud music on my headphones. 11 years ago I decided to go to a little indoor mini concert that was taking place in las vegas. I remember walking in and the music was very loud. If you wanted to talk to someone standing next to you, you would have to yell really loud. As I recall, I was standing fairly close to the speakers. The music actually vibrated my entire body. I can't believe I didn't even think that this was an issue - I was so Naïve. I was probably there close to an hour, standing way to close to the indoor speakers and concert music. After an hour or so I walked out of the building and within 2nds (even with the loud sounds of street music, cars, people, etc) I felt and heard this loud sound/hissing, ringing, (including high tones and a low tone - which has never gone away basically all kinds of noises. When I got back to the hotel room in complete silence it was a freight train. I knew immediately I had made a huge mistake. Not only by standing too long and too close to the speakers but the combined 4 to 5 years of listening to loud music on head phones every day at work. I will say it was and is the hardest thing I have EVER gone through in my life. However, I beat it, it was still there, it never goes away, but it didn't bother me, maybe the volume decreased after about a year or so, I'm not sure but I was good for about 10 years. I probably habituated to it...so I do want to give people hope. It really didn't bother me for so very long. Now fast-forward It has come back much louder, but I have confidence that I can handle it...although I have good days and bad days and good nights and bad nights....I do want to give people hope because initially I had zero hope, and the thoughts that ran through my head were terrifying. I am hopeful I can get back to where I was, to where it didn't even bother me. Right now I'm surviving, I don't think the noise has decreased, it's just a little less bothersome. Its still hard right now, don't get me wrong, but I'm trying to have a better mindset. The biggest issue for me is sleep. I tell myself I can handle anything during the day, but if I can't sleep that's when it starts getting darker and more scary. Anyways - hope this helps with my story. I'll keep you posted. I do believe in Faith, Hope, and focusing on being Joyful, regardless of circumstances. This helps immensely. Focusing on my family helps immensely. Focusing on the people that love you and that are in your life. Knowing that we have a higher purpose and calling helps. By far the biggest piece of advice (other than praying - since I'm a man of faith), is do not focus on the negative thoughts surrounding T...--that's a downward spiral. Which will take you lower, and lower and lower and is NOT helpful. You can take some time to feel sorry for yourself, but at some point you have to try to choose to have joy. So easier said then done. God Bless all of you!

 

@Jarin Maurer I really appreciate you sharing all of that. I hope it gets better for you and everyone and that one day we will all have a viable treatment. You hit the nail on the head with a lot of what you said and I am looking for that purpose as well. I'll say a prayer for your continued improvement.

 

Hi @Jarin Maurer -- Thanks for sharing your story. This may be a bit redundant, but thought I'd paste a LINK to my earlier post on what helped me tremendously with sleep.

 

Reading this took me back to my anxiety days. I suffered for 10 years and the only way back to sanity was exactly what you have said here. Allowing it to be there... accepting it... and just letting it do it's worst - only then can you move on from it. It's so hard but so worth it in the end. Unfortunately I am now in the throws of Tinnitus and trying to use my knowledge of anxiety to help with this issue too. Wow is it hard. Wow is it heart breaking. But I cannot and will not be beaten. I just try to accept the bad days now. I have just discovered 2 new noises today and it made me sad but what can I do? Nothing. So I might as well carry on with my day and you never know... there may be laughter. There may be some fear too and possibly tears but I always make room for laughter. There's no better feeling.

 

Tinnitus date November 23 2018

It’s my two weeks update. I’m having a difficult time. I really don’t know what to say. Today is my 60th day on lipo flavonoid. They say try it for two months but for me everything the same. I got a food allergy test a while back that told me to stay away from eggs tomato’s dairy. There are times I get scared to eat. I really wish I knew what makes it better or worse. I have like 3 days bearable then 4 days like today I wish somebody would end it for me. Yup I’m depressed and I have fear I will never hibutate.
When I can sleep I dream about me being normal feeling normal. I wish I could sleep all day but when I wake up my body has rested enough it will not let go back to sleep. I miss day dreaming. I miss driving home in a quiet car. I miss listening to the birds and watching the sunrise peacefully. Having that time when I awake but my brain is resting.
I very happy that many of you are doing well and better than me.
I normally have about three hours of energy after I wake up then it’s downhill from there. I go to bed early to try and get as much quantity of sleep since my quality is not that good.
I read other’s peoples posts and they seem to be more positive than me. I don’t really want to post my thoughts because I don’t know if I made any progress to report.
Thank you everyone who has posted on this thread. I read everyone’s posts a couple of times a week. Chilliwoman, Lane, OneTimePoster, Jarin,Watasha, Shelly and John thank you for your posts.

I will write again in ten days. I think it helps me to write. May peace be with you all Mike

 

Another update

The noise is the same but I’m getting use to it. My mood is one of complacency. I don’t mask during the day or at work just when I’m at home or when I go to sleep. I am trying a do nothing approach as much as I can. I still have what I call the brain buzz a lot. I have given up on try this pill or diet for the most part. I’m finishing things I have already started or paid for. I still lack energy and I still have depression. It seems to be the new normal.
That is it for this update

 

T since November 24 2018
Update

It’s early Saturday morning and I am laying in my bed. My T level is the same as day one , my fan is on next to my bed but my T level is loud so I’m not sure if the fan is really masking anything or just it’s my habit now to have it. My brain buzz has settled down which I am grateful for. I’m not as depressed as I was. My life is finding it’s new normal. I don’t mask at all when I leave my home or at work which can be very very quiet and yes my T is is with me 24/7 but I have and am learning to think around it. At home I have a noise machine playing a thunder storm softly in the kitchen and a fan on low next to my bed. My T is much louder than both these things and maybe one day I will stop having them on. I am trying to be kind to myself and make sure I relax and get a lot of sleep.
I think the best thing I have done since I got T was to not mask on Saturday outside my house which quickly led to not masking at all outside my house. I say this because at some point I didn’t care enough to always focus on my T. I started just moving on. Don’t get me wrong I don’t like this shit but there really is no choice but to just walk through this in the most relaxed state you can get yourself in.
I am doing my best to do the do nothing about it approach. Just be the old me as if nothing ever happened.

Tomorrow I am going to the mountains and then my dads house to bake cinnamon buns for everyone. I will give another update in couple of weeks.
May peace be with you, Mike

 

Hi guys, similar story to some of you guys. Got it years ago, habituated, going through it again now.
Can you tell me what you guys mean by vibrations in the head and the brain buzz exactly?
Thanks
Paul

 

Yeah, and that getting into the best relaxed state you can get yourself in has to be rewon every day. But like you say, what other choice do we have? Thankfully, some days are better than others. I'm grateful for every one of them. -- Thanks for your updates @Calimike.

 

Paulfi
I use the words brain buzz to describe a feeling I have sometimes in my head.
I have 3 things going on. One is a mild sensitivity to louder noise. One is my T high pitch noise and one is brain buzz
Brain buzz is a feeling of brain activity, static electricity in my brain, a kind of a headache.
The first time I went and got a Craniosacral therapy massage I was hoping that it would do anything for my noise and the answer was no but I felt better anyways for a few days. I didn’t have much faith in it but I went back again and again I felt better but the noise is the same. Then I started to realize that I had brain buzz. brain buzz was like a third characteristic of my T and the therapy discharged this energy out of my brain which helped me feel better. I started reading about earthing. Earthing is how to release electricity out of the body which reminded me how at peace I use to be after I did some gardening when I was younger.

I hope reading this was not too confusing.

 

That was interesting, Calimike. It was an interesting way to describe it.

I still can't contemplate how some people supposedly habituate to loud or intense, high pitched tinnitus. They subsequently perceive it lower in volume afterwards or the same noise they hear doesn't bother them?

It was interesting, also, what the other poster said about the reverberating contrast. Anyway, I am done rambling.

 

@OneTimePoster, I would like to see your point on view on my case.

I have identified a lot with your post, that is positive and gave me some strength to cope with this. I was habituated more or less like you. I passed a really hard time and the beginning, but with time, CBT, and stop fearing the noise, I came to a point that I wasn´t noticing the tinnitus most of the time, except nights and all of that, but when I heard it, I didn´t care, because it felt natural and was used to it. At that time, I didn´t imagine that I could overcome the situation, but I did, and was living a very happy life.

The problem is... since 2 weeks ago approximately, I have had a spike, and now I have entered again in the flight or fight mode, I´m constantly looking for it, monitoring, I´m very stressed and can´t do anything right. I can´t concentrate and I hear more sounds than before. It´s like I have returned to the old bad days when I couldn´t cope with it. I think I can hear it on more places, and more clearly, and I´m panicking again. I´m having very dark thoughts, and the things that worked one time for me, don´t work now. It´s amazing that I thought that I was habituated and didn´t care more about the tinnitus, I was at that point only 3 weeks ago, but now it has returned with vengeance again like a bad nightmare.

Anything you could say which can help me a bit? Thanks a lot for your time.

 

@dipp I've been through something similar. I also read many stories of people who had to habituate for a second time. For your brain this is new, and a threat all over again. But for you it is also recognizable as a type of thing you overcame before. The stories I read all said habituating for the second time is faster, because you have much more knowledge and experience in this now. It doesn't mean it will be easy now, or that it is not an extremely hard situation you find yourself in again.

My theory is that there is still a part in you that believed internal sounds to be a threat, this part kicked everything into fight or flight when you noticed the spike. I believe that this experience will only harden your habituation once you get through it again.

In my own case, I felt my life go back to normal again, feeling like my internal sounds were not really important anymore. Then I got a weird hum in one of my ears, it made my whole ear vibrate. I thought it was just a little cold and checked with the doctor, but they couldn't see anything in my ear. I started to get worried again, and my focus quickly went back to a fearful hyperfocus, even started to hear the sound I habituated to again louder. I realized the same thing was happening like before, only the type of sound was different (and the vibration). I told myself I would eventually get to the same point again. I know I can because I already did it. I remember feeling worried because the hum was still there after 2 months. But then after about 3 months or so, I suddenly noticed it was gone, yet I didn't know when it left, because I already didn't hear it anymore. So in my experience, the first time took almost 2 years, the second time almost 3 months.

I would say; Know that it is normal that you feel the fear, panic and hopelessness again. This is part of the subconscious belief that the internal sound is a threat. You know that you can retrain your brain, show it that there is no threat, and that this will lead to habituation sooner or later. I wish you all the strength in this difficult time, you will get through this and come out of it a stronger man again.

 

@dipp

I hear your situation, I’m actually on my third habituation. This first was around 2000 and I went ear plugs for anything louder than normal office noise and the T disappeared. 2013 it came back for a few weeks and I think I habituated, but I completely forgot about it. March 11, 2019 I was sitting in a meeting and Bam really loud hissing/static T. I’m taking @OneTimePoster advice and getting everything checked anyway. I’m on my 2nd sleeping through the night victory. To help myself fall asleep I relax my breathing and pulse and try not panic about the noise. We have a 4 year old that still wakes us up at night, so I get to practice Falling asleep 3 times a night!