Hi from a fellow tinnitus sufferer. I am 27 years old and I want to tell you my weird experience with tinnitus. I think I suffer from it since I was a child. I remember some days back in my childhood I would hear this loud buzzing noise and if I concentrated too much on it I panicked. But I thought that the noise I heard was some kind of environmental vibration that we all heard. I thought it was part of the background, so I didn't really pay much attention and I have always led a normal life with this intrusive sound. This is crazy I know but Trust me!!
4 years ago I accidentally found out on the Internet that the sound I heard all day probably came from my head. It was the worst discovery of my life. I literally went mad and the sound that had always been with me through my life and to which I didn't pay ANY attention suddenly led me to despair. I spent some months in hell and I couldn't do anything but lie in bed and listen to this hellish sound trying to mask it with other sounds or music. It was hell on earth for me. I stopped with the university and started taking antidepressants.
Then slowly and eventually I habituated again to the sound and started leading my normal life again. When I slept or studied I partially masked the sound with rain sounds/white noise and even if it really annoyed me I stopped being so focused on it. It was just a nuisance but I could easily distract from it. There were even weeks I forgot about having it. sometimes in a while I focused on it and felt distressed but for the most time I didn't think about it even if I kept hearing it in the background. Habituation is possible!!!
But then again the sad part. Two weeks ago I was sleeping and tinnitus was very loud. I suddenly panicked and started thinking deeply about it again and the fact it will be there for my lifetime. Well it was the worst decision ever since I started making horrible thoughts about it and became really frightened. Since that night I haven't recovered. These two weeks were really hard for me, I feel depressed and I keep hearing this annoying sound all day. Like yesterday I was at a medical examination and I couldn't even listen to the doctor, I was just paying attention to the tinnitus all the time. I really hope I had never found out this sound was in my head. I lived for so much time with it (maybe it wasn't loud as now but I'll never know) and it didn't bother me because I thought we all heard it. Crazy isn't it? Hope to get havituated again fast. Have a good day
4 years ago I accidentally found out on the Internet that the sound I heard all day probably came from my head. It was the worst discovery of my life. I literally went mad and the sound that had always been with me through my life and to which I didn't pay ANY attention suddenly led me to despair. I spent some months in hell and I couldn't do anything but lie in bed and listen to this hellish sound trying to mask it with other sounds or music. It was hell on earth for me. I stopped with the university and started taking antidepressants.
Then slowly and eventually I habituated again to the sound and started leading my normal life again. When I slept or studied I partially masked the sound with rain sounds/white noise and even if it really annoyed me I stopped being so focused on it. It was just a nuisance but I could easily distract from it. There were even weeks I forgot about having it. sometimes in a while I focused on it and felt distressed but for the most time I didn't think about it even if I kept hearing it in the background. Habituation is possible!!!
But then again the sad part. Two weeks ago I was sleeping and tinnitus was very loud. I suddenly panicked and started thinking deeply about it again and the fact it will be there for my lifetime. Well it was the worst decision ever since I started making horrible thoughts about it and became really frightened. Since that night I haven't recovered. These two weeks were really hard for me, I feel depressed and I keep hearing this annoying sound all day. Like yesterday I was at a medical examination and I couldn't even listen to the doctor, I was just paying attention to the tinnitus all the time. I really hope I had never found out this sound was in my head. I lived for so much time with it (maybe it wasn't loud as now but I'll never know) and it didn't bother me because I thought we all heard it. Crazy isn't it? Hope to get havituated again fast. Have a good day
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