So I haven't been on here in awhile. I came here for help a couple times, but mostly I tried to encourage others.
Now my hyperacusis is worse than ever. In the last 3 months or so, I moved out of my home with my mother. After my father had a psychotic break and attacked my friend. 2 months before that I lost almost all my friends after being left out and mistreated, manipulated and used. I allowed it to happen, I believed God wanted me to be apart of this group. I thought it would change, deep down I knew something was wrong but I ignored it.
I have night terrors so bad I have started drinking almost everyday and taking kratom powder for the pain. It helps quite a bit but can be addictive. That's just the last 5 months. The last 3 years have been heartbreak and loss over and over again.
I tried with everything I had to help others. I have fought tinnitus for almost 8 years and hyperacusis for about 4 and a half. I refuse to give up but what I feel has been numbed completely for the first time in my whole life. I am 27. I feel like I am 50.
Now my mother and I can barely make rent and I can't work. Just 3 months ago my H was at least manageable sometimes.
What do I do? I don't trust doctors of any kind, this is because of personal experience. I know many of them do a lot of good. I am a man of faith but having faith in myself is something I have never been good at.
Anger drives me now, at least on the surface and what's beneath needs to be released but I can't do that I have tried. My life has always been tough emotionally, psychically and spiritually.
My H had taken away any peace I thought I could find. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you in advance. The people on here in the past were very kind and helpful. I hope that hasn't changed.
Now my hyperacusis is worse than ever. In the last 3 months or so, I moved out of my home with my mother. After my father had a psychotic break and attacked my friend. 2 months before that I lost almost all my friends after being left out and mistreated, manipulated and used. I allowed it to happen, I believed God wanted me to be apart of this group. I thought it would change, deep down I knew something was wrong but I ignored it.
I have night terrors so bad I have started drinking almost everyday and taking kratom powder for the pain. It helps quite a bit but can be addictive. That's just the last 5 months. The last 3 years have been heartbreak and loss over and over again.
I tried with everything I had to help others. I have fought tinnitus for almost 8 years and hyperacusis for about 4 and a half. I refuse to give up but what I feel has been numbed completely for the first time in my whole life. I am 27. I feel like I am 50.
Now my mother and I can barely make rent and I can't work. Just 3 months ago my H was at least manageable sometimes.
What do I do? I don't trust doctors of any kind, this is because of personal experience. I know many of them do a lot of good. I am a man of faith but having faith in myself is something I have never been good at.
Anger drives me now, at least on the surface and what's beneath needs to be released but I can't do that I have tried. My life has always been tough emotionally, psychically and spiritually.
My H had taken away any peace I thought I could find. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you in advance. The people on here in the past were very kind and helpful. I hope that hasn't changed.
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