New to Forum, But Not New to Tinnitus

I'm a 54-y.o. male who has led a healthy lifestyle for over 25 years. But on April 28, 1996 my life changed. I was watching TV that night like I always have. All of a sudden I started to hear what sounded like a high-pitched hissing. I thought it was coming from the TV, so I muted the sound. I still heard the noise. I covered my ears and realized it was coming from inside my head. I had had ringing in my ears before, especially after attending a loud rock concert. But that noise was slightly different and always went away within a few days. The noise I heard on this particular evening has been with me ever since.

I went to my doctor, an otolaryngologist, a neurologist, psychiatrist, etc., and had a myriad of tests performed. Everything, including my hearing, came back normal. I tried ginko biloba as I heard that helped people. It did nothing for me. After a few months, I habituated to the noise and tried my best to ignore it.

But in the summer of 1996, I began to hear a completely new sound. And this one nearly drove me to suicide. It was a very loud, low-pitched hum that sounded as if I were in a propeller plane. It could also be compared to a swarm of hornets. I had three MRI's over the next few years along with more hearing tests, allergy tests, everything I could imagine. No cause was ever found. This humming was ruining my life. I couldn't sleep, I had no appetite, and I fell into major depression. I had no enthusiasm for life anymore. I contemplated suicide as I couldn't imagine living this way for the rest of my life.

I finally decided to get on an antidepressant after resisting them for several years. In September of 1999, I was put on Effexor XR. Within a few weeks, the humming sound gradually disappeared. Eventually, it was gone altogether. I rejoiced! That awful noise must have been my body's bizarre reaction to depression. I thought I was home free. But a year later - Sept. 2000 - I woke up one morning and the noise had returned. I increased my Effexor dosage but that did no good, and it made me feel like a zombie. So my doctor switched me to Zoloft, then Paxil, Wellbutrin, Neuronton, and many others. None of them worked. I was miserable again.

A few years later, I got on Lexapro which seemed to work. I actually went a couple of years with having no tinnitus symptoms at all. I was sleeping fine, and I rarely talked about it. That was in 2007. Since then I've had several relapses and a few episodes of absolute despair. As I sit here writing this, I am on my fourth day of another relapse. And this one is bad. I'm going to see my doctor this week about switching me to another med. The last few days have been pure hell, and I have hit rock bottom again.

 

Sorry to hear about the return of you T, that really sux, I can't imagine having it go away and then having it come back, Welcome and hopefully you will find some support here among other T suffers.

 

Dear Frayact - I am so sorry to hear about the number of relapses you have had. I can only imagine your despair. I hate my Tinnitus but am trying hard to habituate to it listening to music, deep breathing and trying to understand certain responses to things in my life which might trigger the noise response. It's a slow process but I'm trying. I know that Tinnitus does have a dramatic impact on one's life even when the noise is mild - I know because somedays I feel like I'm going against the current. But please work with someone and get through it - do not contemplate suicide - it is not the answer because you will leave behind many who will truly miss you - it is not the answer. Take good care of yourself and breathe deep!