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Hi my name is Avril, I have been suffering with now for 5 months, I was told to learn to live with it, but went private and had MRI scan which showed the reason, a benign tumour pushing against a nerve. Its been the most horrible time in my life, and now getting treatment for depression. This tinnitus is enough to drive people mad

 

Welcome, Avril - glad you found us!

I agree that tinnitus has tremendous power to seriously mess up life, up to the most basic daily tasks; surely that was the case for me in the past... even my ENT was slightly shocked that the pitch of my ringing is that high.

However, I can guarantee you that there is real hope even without current treatment! Personally, my situation changed drastically for the better after I learned to fearlessly face my condition. I mentally exposed myself to the reality of the constant ringing and became "acquainted" to it. I accepted my tinnitus more and more. Thus began a gradual shift of attention away from the sound that made all the difference to me.

I'm deeply into psychology and therefore know that the more room you give your fear the more it dominates your life. By all means, don't go down that road and instead try with all your might to continue to live a normal, joyful existence. Try to make life big, so that tinnitus is just one single part of it... and accept every helping hand you can get hold of (including professional help - it's no shame).

I'm thankful to all the people on my road, who gave me a hand-up... thus, now - while I'm writing this - I'm clearly aware of my tinnitus, yet it doesn't bother me a bit. The same is possible for you, if you're willing to move into the right direction step-by-step. YOU can do it, because everybody has the inner strength to do so.

Be around here - a fabulous community of people is eager to stand with you!

 

Wait -- a tumor? Sounds like it could be removed and the problem resolved, yes?

 

Avril,

First, I'm sorry to hear of your situation. Tinnitus is indeed enough to drive people mad, but most people don't end up that way. I agree with PolishCicero - often one can become accustomed to their tinnitus by just accepting it, recognizing that the sound itself is not harmful (annoying, but not harmful), and doing your best to make it small compared to the rest of you life. That certainly doesn't get rid of the problem, but it can keep you firmly positioned in the sane world, and not far from life before T.

I'm curious - is the person who ordered the MRI sure that the tumor is the cause? Has he/she been able to clearly and confidently explain how they know that it is the cause of your T? Has he recommended or not recommended having the tumor removed? Is this what is frequently called an acoustic neuroma? There appear to be so many causes of T, that it is hard to know what causes it most of the time. So I have a feeling things are not cut and dried, and I'd be interesed in hearing the details if your willing to share that info.

I'm asking the above mostly in response to Robert's question. If you don't intend to consider having the tumor removed, that working on making the T less of a nuisance is probably the best thing to do. If you're considering having it removed then you probably have a lot of work ahead of you to be able to make that decision confidently because surgery is never a slam dunk. All surgery has risk of not being successful, and risk of making things worse. Of course these are things you may have already discussed with your doctor, and there is certainly no need to discuss them here unless you want to.

I wish you the best and keep us up to date on what's going on.

mick

 

Thanks for your support, started antidepressants a few days ago but feel like crap today

 

The tumour is small so reluctant to operate, and the neurologist isn't sure its causing the tinnitus even though the ENT seem to think it is

 

Unfortunately that is true for every recovery - you have to live through the lows to be able to climb up to the highs. It's about the mind adapting to the new situation.... and it WILL. Trust yourself and be tough!

 

The price I am paying for being a musician, too many loud amps

 

True, it is similar in my case. However, with really good earplugs - I use "Partyplug" from Alpine - you can continue to enjoy (loud) music... check with your ENT for professional advice about that.

 

I cant even think about going out at the moment, just hope these antidepressants kick in soon

 

What is holding you back specifically?

 

Piper, antidepressants take weeks to have an effect. In the meantime, assuming you don't have an addictive personality and don't drink, you could ask for Lorazepam as a fast-acting, sanity-restoring solution while you wait for the antidepressants to take effect. That combo worked for me, especially with sleep. I ended up tapering off both within a year and was on my way. I still have T but it's no more annoying than the refrigerator.

 

Hi Robert, it got me so bad that the depression stopped me going out,just had a doze and woke up with it screamingI have diazapam

 

Naps amplify it temporarily. Keep treating the anxiety. Eventually you will look back and shake your head at your overreaction.

 

Off to audiology for some tinnitus training.

 

Going nuts with this today

 

Tinnitus training? What's that? I hope you feel better soon.

 

It's a white noise devise but it's made it worse I am so depressed can't get out of it

 

You can't beat T by confronting it. You must sidestep it.

 

I wanted to join a self help group but there is nothing near me, so I was thinking if anyone lives in the Essex area maybe we could have a get together and meet at my house, coffee, tea, etc, and make friends with people that are all in the same boat. Any suggestions?

 

Piper, at this point how are these things going for you?

1. Getting a good night's sleep.
2. Eating normally.
3. Leaving the house regularly.
4. Engaging in activities you consider productive.

I'm keen on following your progress.

 

Hi Robert, Got sleeping pills now, although I am only taking half. Trying to eat but not really got much appetite, no still not really going out, well not on my own , not really getting involved in activities, due to my mood. Who would believe 6 months ago I was a grade 6 driving instructor and musician.

 

Sounds like an acute depression, a fast-moving thunderstorm. I had the same, a few months after developing T. I wretched at the thought of leaving the house, going to work etc. Human contact was instant overload, as if I were at the absolute limit of stress. I hid in my basement for hours, staring at the television tuned to the "snow" channel to drown out the T. Couldn't work for more than a couple hours at a time. Then I'd go back home and hide.

Time is on your side for three reasons:

1. Just as water eventually seeks it own level, so does your disposition. The old "you" is still in there and will eventually re-emerge.
2. People adapt with time. Just as we develop callouses on our hands (you've probably adapted to repetitive friction with musical instruments), we develop them on our brains with regular exposure to things like T.
3. Anti-depressants take time, but they work, especially for non-chronic cases like you seem to be. They fix the anomaly and get your brain chemistry back to healthy. Meanwhile, I'm sure strange thoughts abound. I remember going to the supermarket (when I had recovered enough to do that) and recoiling from the contrast in the red and white floor tiles. Bizarre things like that. Don't know if it was the anxiety/depression lingering or a side-effect of the meds. Anyway, enjoy your journey through the dark neighborhoods of your mind that you didn't know existed. It's an education! You'll emerge street wise and able to relate to others as I'm relating to you, or at least I think I'm relating to you.

Regarding the sleeping pills, are they literally sleeping pills or anxiety meds?

 

Sleeping tablets only

 

And you're talking a half-dose, but you are indeed sleeping through the night per normal? And you're able to nap sometimes during the day if you want?

 

No of I sleep during the day I wake up with the noises worse

 

Looking to start a different antidepressant but they terrify me

 

Tried playing my pipes the other day and that made it worse, tell you Robert this tinnitus really needs more funding

 

If you want to move this dialogue over to rfahey@wobfm.com, I can respond faster. I'm keen on seeing you through this.