Newbie and Tinnitus Since Saturday

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by Pabl692, Nov 27, 2018.

    1. Pabl692
      Alone

      Pabl692 Member

      Location:
      Barnsley, UK.
      Tinnitus Since:
      November 2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Performing musician.
      Hi everyone,

      First time poster, just not feeling too great about what has happened to me over the weekend.

      I'll try and cut a long story short here :)

      I'm a 26 year old male, work full time, live alone and studying a masters degree by distance. Between the ages of 14-20, I played on and off in a rock band (I play guitar). Over the years I probably played 80-100 gigs, as well as many many practice sessions.

      Obviously, anyone who has attended a live concert knows how loud live bands can be. Around a year ago, I was asked to join another band, and have played a few gigs with them. We practice once a week and I've probably done 12 gigs or so with them over the year.

      This weekend we had two gigs. Both were exceptionally loud. Not from my guitar, might I add, but as stages are cramped I was stood really close to the drum kit. When playing on Saturday night, I just felt that the cymbals were really too loud in my ears. I didn't experience any pain or anything, but you know when something just seems too loud for comfort.

      We usually play for around 45 minutes, have a 20 minute break and then another 45 minutes. After most gigs, my ears are a bit 'dull' and they usually ring. I always notice the ringing when I get home to bed.

      Usually , however, the ringing has gone by the next day.

      This time, 3 days later, it's still here.

      To be honest, I woke up Sunday morning and didn't notice it. I laid in bed, watched a bit of TV and worked out and never noticed it. Later in the afternoon, my parents visited, we watched TV and I briefly noticed it again as I went upstairs to grab something.

      I didn't think too much about it until I went to bed, when I heard the ringing again. I just thought maybe my ears are taking a little longer to recover as we had played twice that weekend and we had been a little louder than usual. Monday, however, was the same. And today, much the same.

      The volume has come down a bit. It isn't the same as straight after the gig.

      To be honest, I will sound like a real moaner here... and I appreciate that some people have it much much worse than me, and of course, that essentially it is my own fault for not protecting my ears.

      When I'm out and about, at work, or in the supermarket, or at home with the TV on or whatever, I can't hear it. If I put my fingers in my ears when I'm at work, I will hear it depending on how loud my surroundings are. I listened to some white noise things on the web, and that seemed to mask the noise... in fact, after I'd turned it off, I struggled to hear the ringing again for a minute or two. I thought I was cured! But it came back. Lat night, I was sitting in the living room, and I thought I couldn't hear the humming. I thought maybe, finally, it had gone. I could still hear the weird white noise, but I thought that was because it was really quiet and your ears make noises when it is quiet anyway... but then I heard it again and I couldn't not hear it again.

      What is worrying me is going to bed at night and when I am alone at home. Worrying, to the point where I genuinely feel sick. When I woke up this morning, I was shattered. The room was quiet and the ringing was loud. Not just a high pitched hum, but also like a washing white noise sound. I was in total despair, I almost made myself sick.

      To be honest, this is the last thing I need. Since I was 20 I have suffered with a form of OCD. I do obsess about things, to the point where I am absolutely convinced. I have been convinced I've had HIV before, convinced I was going to need heart surgery after a cardiologist told me they heard a murmur. You name it, I've obsessed.

      But obviously, Tinnitus isn't imaginary and it is there, and clearly I've damaged my ears.

      I have a lot weight on my shoulders. I've struggled with sleep due to depression for years, and I have INCREDIBLY vivid dreams. I wake up shattered most days. I work full time, I'm studying in my spare time. I've got a mortgage to pay and bills of course. How am I meant to concentrate with this? How can I get to work if I can't sleep...

      I had just gotten to a point where I was relatively comfortable. I had gotten into a routine, and now this. I am fixating on it, but it has sent me into a real, real spin.

      Can people relate? Will this anxiety fade?

      The thought of going home alone and going to bed and listening to that honestly turns my stomach, I'm dreading it tonight. And I know there isn't anything I can really do. I keep thinking it wouldn't be so bad if I lived with someone, because Id have a bit of a distraction, but I live alone...

      Like I said, we played on Saturday night and it's now Tuesday evening. I'm assuming that if it was to go, it would have gone by now... so I'm trying to accept that it's going to be here forever.

      Sorry for the long post... just scared to be honest.
       
      • Hug Hug x 2
    2. coffee_girl
      Innocent

      coffee_girl Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      All my life, but got worse 2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced / Concert
      It looks like you have mild tinnitus, this is good news. There is a good chance it will fade even more over the years, if you just protect your ears...in time you will habituate and the sound will no longer bother you. That is, if it doesn't go away completely. Just remember to stay away from loud noises or you risk it getting worse! Only time can tell what will happen, but the statistics are on your side, good luck!
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    3. Michael Barton

      Michael Barton Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      11/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      3 hours at a house concert
      Hey there,

      It's been a few weeks for me and I can say, I found some help in using melatonine to sleep (I'm still having trouble staying asleep though) and I've also found relief in meditating. Meditating has helped me because it tells my brain that the sound is ok, because initially it tells your brain something is wrong which is what's bothering you.

      Install a mindfulness app, do the sessions, as silly as they may seem, when you focus on breathing, it'll calm you down. When in that tranquil state, actively listen to your T and as you do that more and more, T will just make you relax instead, or so I've been told.

      Of course that will take a long time, and to be honest, it still freaks me out at times, but I usually feel much better after meditating, so get on that bandwagon as soon as possible.

      I too feel that there's no light at the end of the tunnel, but go ahead and read some of the positive things people have said, they are inspirational, and before you know it, you'll start to live your life like you used to.

      Yes, I too have to accept that this will probably never go away, but indeed the statistics are on our side, and most people eventually do manage to live a happy life with T.

      What's more, your body will habituate, which will take time, but meditation will help to speed that along. Habituation is your brain learning to ignore the sound, in turn stopping the freaking out. Unfortunately I don't know how long that'll take, and regretfully I've read stories of people not having habituated even 2 years in... If I understand correctly, habituation depends on the person, someone willing to let go will have more ease, so especially given your OCD past, I'd say again, get meditating.

      Lastly, know you're not alone and that you will be able concentrate again, you will be able to sleep again, you will be able to function again, but you'll need to have patience.

      Now I'm going to go meditate, and hopefully get some rest :)

      Best of luck.

      Kind regards,

      M
       
      • Like Like x 1
    4. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Pabl692
      Alone

      Pabl692 Member

      Location:
      Barnsley, UK.
      Tinnitus Since:
      November 2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Performing musician.
      Thank you both for your replies, much much appreciated.

      Michael, how would you rate how loud your T is? Just say if you are sat watching TV, could you pick it out?

      I only really hear it when I'm at home. If the TV is off or on really low at night. And obviously when I'm trying to sleep. Then I'd rank it perhaps a 5/6 out of 10.

      As I say, I know some people have it MUCH worse than me. But with all my other issues... life is getting very difficult.

      My Dad has complained about having Tinnitus before, too. He said he got it from listening to music through headphones really loudly in his youth. I remember a few times been out with him and he's said he's struggled to hear me because of it, or that it had flaired up. He would come to my gigs and hear him complaining about his ears the day after...

      Weirdly, thinking about my Dad gives me a bit of comfort... it never seemed to effect him too much but then I don't know how bad he has it. And he had his family with him... distractions. I don't have anything.

      I'm thinking of buying myself a little radio that I can have at the side of my bed, that I can have on really low, just to distract me or take the noise away.

      To be honest, I'm just scared that this is going to drive me crazy and that I've ruined my life... and because of my OCD, it's bringing me to the point of actually feeling really ill.
       
    5. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Pabl692
      Alone

      Pabl692 Member

      Location:
      Barnsley, UK.
      Tinnitus Since:
      November 2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Performing musician.
      Sorry to post again...

      So now, I'm sat at home in my living room and its absolutely silent.

      In my ears I can hear a really high pitched hissing. That doesn't bother me too much.

      The high pitched buzzing, like I described I get from playing gigs seems to have disappeared...

      I've noticed that if I sit in a quiet room, the buzzing dissipates... If I start moving around, or start typing on the keyboard and then stop, the buzzing seems to come back a little. But then I'd give it a 2/3 out of 10 rather than the 5.

      Funny thing is, last night I was sat in my living room and I thought it had gone then... only to wake up with it returning.

      Does anyone find their tinnitus gets better at night or when its quiet? I know this seems completely at odds with what people usually say.
       
    6. PortalNaut

      PortalNaut Member

      Location:
      USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      Late 2/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise Induced
      Hi @Pabl692 you have run into a blaze of loud noises over and over and wound up hurting your ear nerve cells. Hearing damage is a cumulative thing, so those 100+ gigs were building up and affecting you even though it was the more reccent double gig that seems to have caused this. You now must choose to take severe measure to protect your ears, which means...perhaps not playing in a loud way for 6 months or longer. Please find and read the threads by musicians to see what they actually did, as I can't directly advise you other than being a T sufferer.

      What you describe above, does seem odd. For me, I would say that in the first ~4 months the T was very variable. This was through the day and day to day. Loudness would change, and also the frequency. Also the type, whether cicadas type noises or more tonal ringing. In the evening I found at about 1.5 months that having a beer near 8pm would reduce the T level significantly and by bedtime, it was manageable. Like most people, for me, quiet times was when T would seem the loudest.

      If yours for some reason is quieter at night, I would thank your lucky stars. Also, to me, it is a sign of your brain adjusting the processing of the inputted signals and the phantom signals the nerves/brain are producing...and to me..shows there is some hope the brain will reorganize not to produce the T sounds. But note, you can interpret the quiet T at night as a sign that your brain can handle quiet periods better than noisy ones, and so...is a possible sign than you need to keep out of noisy (band) areas. As bad as it sounds, you need to heal up. It's like your ears/nerves/brain are inflamed and need time.

      Good luck, friend.
       
    7. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Pabl692
      Alone

      Pabl692 Member

      Location:
      Barnsley, UK.
      Tinnitus Since:
      November 2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Performing musician.
      Thank you so much for your reply, much of what you said makes sense.

      Regarding playing with the band, it's not something I can give up immediately as we have a lot of commitments. However, I will never play with a band again without wearing ear plugs. I've already purchased a few pairs.

      Last night was strange. I got home from work and my house was silent. I could hear the ringing. I sat in silence for a while and it gradually got quieter. I got into bed and it actually went. I swear it wasn't there.
      I even woke up in the night and it was silent. Nothing. I was relieved.
      I woke up this morning and I still couldn't hear it.
      I had a shower and then as I was getting dressed and put the TV on, it came back all at once. If I put my fingers in my ears now, I can still hear it.

      I find if I keep my fingers in my ears for long enough it dies down or even goes.

      So it seems mine is irritated with any sort of noise and eventually goes when it's quiet.

      Can anyone relate or suggest what is going on?

      The anxiety this is causing is unreal. I can't eat as I've no appetite. I just feel sick. And I have a 5000 word uni essay in in 2 weeks! I just feel sick
       

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