Hi everyone,
I've been lurking on this forum for some time now, but I've been feeling the urge to post my tinnitus-story just recently because tinnitus is really getting to me lately.
In november 2012, suddenly one night I became aware of a fluttering in my right eardrum when I was lying in the couch (on my right side). The fluttering followed the sound of the tv. When I came upright, it was gone. At night, it continued whenever I would lay down at my right ear and some sound hits my left ear. To this day, my right ear has been doing this. Sometimes its softer and sometimes I believe it to be gone, but then it just comes back out of the blue.
Shortly after this fluttering, I started noticing a morsecode-sound in my left ear when I got to bed (in a very quiet room). I soon discovered this was tinnitus and that there was a chance this thing wasn't going away. I am a very scared and panicky person, so I went to the ENT as soon as possible. He said the whole thing (fluttering and tinnitus) was just hyperventilation and that I needed to calm myself down..
Although the tinnitus at that time was very silent, I still panicked for a time (I had always protected my ears whenever necessary to avoid getting it!). A couple of weeks after i felt I should be just fine with it, I came home from work with a new - louder- noise in my left ear. The whole anxiety-thing started over again and again I learned to live with it after a couple of months.
.. Until a couple of months later (mostly right at the moment where I started getting over the fact that my tinnituss had worsened) a new noise appeared. Until today, my ears have continued getting new noises every couple of months, out of the blue. I hear all these stories of people getting better at living with tinnitus, and I am only getting worse. The sounds grow louder and louder each time. Where I could only hear mine in bed two years ago, here I am sitting in my living room with all sorts of background noises, and still hearing T over it. I have an orchestra of different tunes with different frequencies in both ears now, and since april this year, I also developed cicadas in my head. Three weeks ago, a new tone started and is bothering me ever since. I also have what I believe is sort of hyperacusis in my left ear: it flutters (like the right) at certain high/loud noises. Not painful, just very annoying.
Instead of learning to live with it, I"m getting more and more depressed and I don't know how to deal with it. I'm very scared of where this is heading and what kind of future awaits me. I have to get myself through every day and if it wasn't for my supportive boyfriend, I think I'd given up already. I feel like my life is on hold until I get over this..
Things I've already tried:
- going to ENT: waste of time
- going to Brain Clinic Antwerp where I had tdcs (8 sessions): didn't work for me and felt like a guinea-pig.
- had hearing tests and MRI done: all came back fine.
- deanxit (prescribed by UZA): helps to take away the anxiety and to care less about T, but you can't take this for the rest of your life..
- acupuncture: didn't help
- reading the TRT-book of Jastreboff: I get the theory and that you have to learn not to react to the noise but to me it's really the fear (and so far, also reality) of it getting worse that's making me depressed.
- magnesium: may lower my anxiety a bit, but doesn't do anything for my tinnitus. Still taking this as a supplement.
- got antidepressants from my doctor a few weeks ago, but I'm not sure If I should take these..
I learnt that my father and grandparents have T for a long time, but they just don't seem to care.. My father just says to direct my attention to something else, but I believe he is way stronger than me in this...
Anyway, sorry for the long read!
Anyone else have had similar experience with T getting worse every few months?
I've been lurking on this forum for some time now, but I've been feeling the urge to post my tinnitus-story just recently because tinnitus is really getting to me lately.
In november 2012, suddenly one night I became aware of a fluttering in my right eardrum when I was lying in the couch (on my right side). The fluttering followed the sound of the tv. When I came upright, it was gone. At night, it continued whenever I would lay down at my right ear and some sound hits my left ear. To this day, my right ear has been doing this. Sometimes its softer and sometimes I believe it to be gone, but then it just comes back out of the blue.
Shortly after this fluttering, I started noticing a morsecode-sound in my left ear when I got to bed (in a very quiet room). I soon discovered this was tinnitus and that there was a chance this thing wasn't going away. I am a very scared and panicky person, so I went to the ENT as soon as possible. He said the whole thing (fluttering and tinnitus) was just hyperventilation and that I needed to calm myself down..
Although the tinnitus at that time was very silent, I still panicked for a time (I had always protected my ears whenever necessary to avoid getting it!). A couple of weeks after i felt I should be just fine with it, I came home from work with a new - louder- noise in my left ear. The whole anxiety-thing started over again and again I learned to live with it after a couple of months.
.. Until a couple of months later (mostly right at the moment where I started getting over the fact that my tinnituss had worsened) a new noise appeared. Until today, my ears have continued getting new noises every couple of months, out of the blue. I hear all these stories of people getting better at living with tinnitus, and I am only getting worse. The sounds grow louder and louder each time. Where I could only hear mine in bed two years ago, here I am sitting in my living room with all sorts of background noises, and still hearing T over it. I have an orchestra of different tunes with different frequencies in both ears now, and since april this year, I also developed cicadas in my head. Three weeks ago, a new tone started and is bothering me ever since. I also have what I believe is sort of hyperacusis in my left ear: it flutters (like the right) at certain high/loud noises. Not painful, just very annoying.
Instead of learning to live with it, I"m getting more and more depressed and I don't know how to deal with it. I'm very scared of where this is heading and what kind of future awaits me. I have to get myself through every day and if it wasn't for my supportive boyfriend, I think I'd given up already. I feel like my life is on hold until I get over this..
Things I've already tried:
- going to ENT: waste of time
- going to Brain Clinic Antwerp where I had tdcs (8 sessions): didn't work for me and felt like a guinea-pig.
- had hearing tests and MRI done: all came back fine.
- deanxit (prescribed by UZA): helps to take away the anxiety and to care less about T, but you can't take this for the rest of your life..
- acupuncture: didn't help
- reading the TRT-book of Jastreboff: I get the theory and that you have to learn not to react to the noise but to me it's really the fear (and so far, also reality) of it getting worse that's making me depressed.
- magnesium: may lower my anxiety a bit, but doesn't do anything for my tinnitus. Still taking this as a supplement.
- got antidepressants from my doctor a few weeks ago, but I'm not sure If I should take these..
I learnt that my father and grandparents have T for a long time, but they just don't seem to care.. My father just says to direct my attention to something else, but I believe he is way stronger than me in this...
Anyway, sorry for the long read!
Anyone else have had similar experience with T getting worse every few months?