Relationships and Tinnitus

Discussion in 'Support' started by NetroPhil, Oct 6, 2014.

    1. NetroPhil

      NetroPhil Member

      West Midlands, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud Music
      I'm worried about getting into a relationship with someone. It sounds silly, but it feels like if I do get together with someone, they'll have to deal with it as much as I do - worst of all be turned off by it.

      It's not like it really need any managing, but still, the feeling's there,

      I'm also concerned about those occasions when my ear has to touch a pillow or something cause it tends to be a bit louder then....

      Any help or advice appreciated
    2. Ilija

      Ilija Member

      Jagodina, Serbia
      Tinnitus Since:
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud gig/year of loud headphone usage.
      I don't think you should be afraid of getting into relationships because of something like Tinnitus.
      How do you think Nick Vujicic felt? he didn't care if he has no arms and legs and he has a wife and beautiful kids.
      Don't let Tinnitus dictate how you live your life, it's nothing more than an annoying condition we all have to deal with.
      Right now I'm only 2 months in so it still bums me out a lot but I'm managing.
      I'm getting better and I don't let it influence my life.
    3. kmohoruk

      kmohoruk Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud Noise, Ear Infection, TMJ
      I would say go for it! I've had lots of relationships since having T. Sometimes I would mention it to them, but most of the time they understood and were totally ok with it.

      I've learned (sadly sometimes the hard way) that if someone that you are romantically interested in cannot understand or show empathy regarding something as vicious as T. Then it may be best to move on and find someone who's more understanding (I also think it shows maturity as well )
      • Agree Agree x 1
    4. MattK

      MattK Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      You can't just stop living your life because of tinnitus. It simply cannot dictate everything you do. Otherwise, it'll be a miserable life.

      Instead, you need to focus on getting past tinnitus. And if you do get into a relationship, I doubt she'll make a big deal out of it if you don't. I know plenty of people with tinnitus, are married, and have kids.... There's no reason why that can't be you. But first you have to get some stability in you life with tinnitus.
    5. yonkapin

      yonkapin Member Benefactor

      Melbourne, Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      March 2012
      I wouldn't worry too much, everyone has their own issues to deal with and this is one of yours. No one you meet is going to be living a perfect life and come into the relationship without any baggage; be it chronic illness, depression, tragic life experiences, crazy family members, meddling exes, etc.

      On the flip side, getting into a relationship may help you deal with tinnitus, you might start to become more distracted from it as you focus on building a relationship with someone else. If on the odd chance the other person is unable to deal with your tinnitus or understand what you might be going through, then that person wasn't probably the right one for you in the first place.

      My first girlfriend had an absolutely debilitating chronic illness called Crohns disease. Basically her intestines were diseased and had to deal with chronic severe stomach pain, vitamin deficiencies, chronic fatigue, constantly needing to use the bathroom, vomiting when things got really bad, migraines, and had to have multiple surgeries to remove sections of her intestine. Not to mention the slew of side effects she experienced from the heavy duty medication she was on. Of course the severity of her symptoms varied, she could go months with fairly minimal symptoms but bam, all of a sudden she'd be very sick for a month and end up in hospital.

      It spite of all this, it was never an issue in our relationship. I understood she needed to deal with this illness and I supported her in every way I could and for the most part it had absolutely no impact in any aspect of our relationship, she handled the illness like a champ and you could never really tell she had something so serious. A couple years into the relationship, I had to deal with my own medical issues that were quite serious at the time, and in the same way she was there to support me.

      Things didn't end up working out for us years later, but that was a completely different issue. I was 17 at the time I met her, and not nearly as mature as I am today but I was still ready to deal with these issues, I think when you're in love, nothing else really matters.

      So I would say get out there and do what you do, you might come across a couple duds a long the way but that happens to everyone, eventually you're going to find the right person for you.
    6. Grace
      No Mood

      Grace Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      Aww dont be scared.. Get out there and fall inlove.. The one for you will understand and the others well on to the next then. Just because we all have T doesnt mean were any less sexier then before ;) and i agree, a relationship might distract you. Get nervous for different reasoning other then T like a first date and your mind will slowly drift from T to wow shes hott! .... And nice and caring and all of that good stuff! And then build onto it.. Sometimes things in life like a new relationship can help or heal you and youl slowly realise your "habituating". Just remember and this is to everyone on here that you are sexy and beautiful people and can get anyone you want and nothing can stop you! --- i have hardcore bunions that hurt, panic and anxiety disorder, feminine issues, and T so im just one example out out millions that have T and other problems. Just like life, you can take a relationship day by day and build onto bringing more happiness into your life:)
      • Like Like x 2
      • Agree Agree x 1
    7. Sound Wave

      Sound Wave Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Probably headphones
      Being alone with T frightens me MUCH MUCH more than being with someone. So go out and find a relationship... maybe even from this forum? ;)
      • Like Like x 3

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