So I Thought I'd Introduce Myself...

I'm finally writing an intro after finding TT earlier this year. I've had T at an annoyingly loud level since very early Jan 2016. I'm pretty sure I've had it for the past 2 years but at such a low level I habituated and didn't have issues. But something changed toward the end of last year and bang, new year and the ringing, cicada squeal from hell, has ramped up and stayed.
I know what I did to my ears in October 2013. One ridiculously loud gig, in a tiny space, with a friend from out of town. I felt compelled to stay (WHY??) because she was staying with us, just so she could go to this gig and we didn't bring ear plus. I'd always taken care of my ears, I'm 38 and have kids from 19-7 years old. I had ringing and muffled ears from that night. I was pretty upset and worried but somehow got used to it and it disappeared almost into the background until this year. I'd been trying new meds for focal migraines. Had also stopped taking an anti d and every now and then before xmas I noticed T. I think it was all a big cluster f!@# as perhaps the anti d was buffering me noticing T. I had so many migraines that my doctor wanted me to try a preventer. Once I noticed the T of course it became all encompassing. I went to an audiologist expecting high frequency hearing loss due to the high pitch of my T and that is what I have. My audiologist was very nice and understanding. He also experiences T but has habituated so learning about that made me hopeful of getting through it. But its so exhausting. It doesn't stop.. So then I had my first anxiety attack and my doctor thinks the med I was taking at the time exacerbated it. I'd never had anxiety before but have had a time with depression. Anxiety..hideous. I read a lot of stories on here. I realised I needed to take control of how I react to this. I can't give T the power to think about leaving my family and children but yes I wondered how I could go on living hearing these sounds 24/7.
I read a thread on here where the writer (I wish I could remember who) said they had had long term T but finally realised they needed to take charge. They talked to it, acknowledged its annoyance but didn't give T the power. And that helped me a lot. Until a few days ago when I feel like its louder and I feel very low again.
So I came back here. Ive seen an ENT. He's referred me to a TMJ specialist in March and I have had a night guard/bite plate made by my dentist who happens to be my dad so that was handy. I have bilateral T. Left ear it is slightly lower pitched than my right and it is a more constant buzz/squeal. The right is louder, varied tones, incredibly high pitched. They both vary from constant tones to cicada like sounds. I am very aware how my mental state will effect how I get through this. That "fun" fight or flight response is still happening but I try not to let it run me. I haven't had another big anxiety attack but the low level anxiety happens still.
And basically this is shit. I feel for everyone on here new to this. I want to put my energy elsewhere. But instead I find myself reading research papers into new treatments and wondering how I can switch it off and go back to being ok.

 

Mine also sounds like a high pitched cicada...I know there is nothing that can be done...I just deal with it and block it out if possible...it doesn't consume my life...it's more of an annoyance now.

The funny thing is I was always aware of tinnitus and avoided concerts and very loud stuff growing up...And just one day I was at the wrong place at the wrong time.

 

Hi STi. I hope I can get to that point! I do get distracted and forget about it at times so that keeps me going. I too was aware of protecting my ears. Maybe that made things even worse as that hideously loud event didn't effect my friend or partner in the way it has me.