Solitude: while having tinnitus

I actually liked my solitude, before having my T. But now my private time and loneliness seems to have negative effect, to the point i feel its better to die soon than live until i get old and die of natural cause. [ i am not talking about suicide, i am not that depressed yet ] just that i don't want to live old and die hearing to this T. I also worry about committing to a relationship.
In general i miss being alone with myself, cause these days being alone means hearing to my T which gives me negative thoughts.

self evaluation
am i depressed : yes mildly [ duh i have T and health issues]

am i suicidal : hmm i have always been little suicidal in many ways. Some times i like to ride in high ways in middle of the night 12 or 1 for 100 to 150 km alone. what about now ? i dont want to die but i dont want to suffer either.. to suffer or to die i will choose to die rather suffer.

am i having relationship issues : yes, these days i can not be with myself alone dont think someone else is gonna be with me.

am i getting angry easily/threshold of anger changed: yes, my threshold of anger changed huge. I find myself walking away from issues which i can deal very calmly or yell at people or simply over react.

i see myself changing slowly but just dono what to do..

 

I was the same in loving my solitude before T, and until my spike three months ago, I couldn't hear my T during the day, now I hear it all the time accept when I have a faucet on or the shower!.
Wish I could make things better for you with my words but truth is, nothing helps really but time, you do slowly get used to the noise and learn to cope, humans are the most resilient species on earth in dealing with crippling afflictions.
Stay strong, it does get easier.

Rich

 

Jesus, that's exactly how I feel. All I can say is hang in there and don't take your anger out on people who don't deserve it. Find something that will keep you busy, that you will enjoy, like exercising or running for example. It will help keep your mind off your T.

 

My solitude was my safe house before. But now... sighs. .
Sorry to hear about ur T, i hope it gets better for you soon

I am keeping myself busy and trying not to think too much.

Nope i am not yelling at people who dont deserve it.. except that my old self would simply ignore and carry on doing my work. But these days i am yelling at them or feel irritated or easily aggravated.
Sometimes i do feel bad that i might have over reacted.

 

You hit the nail on the head ...that's how I feel all the time
I use to like my alone quite time now its a reminder of how much my life has changed
All we can hope for bro is that this too will pass ...I'm 52 and I'm hoping by the time I retire hopefully at 62 we'll have found a cure to this beast. Hang in there stay strong

 

Yes i am also hoping that there will be some cure in 5 -10 yrs.
But some times .. you just feel

 

Yup I hear you that's why I come here and vent and talk to people who understand what we are going through. There's a weird comfort knowing that we're not going through this alone.