Successish (2 Years Later)

Hey guys, figured I'd come back to tell my story since it's been exactly 2 years since tinnitus reared it's ugly head. Apologies in advance as this is probably going to be long winded

My name is Charlie. My tinnitus is the classic high pitched dentist drill, a new wavy metallic sound has been added over the last year as well.

Being a dumb kid who loved to blast loud music, tinnitus decided to hit at the tender young age of 30. Like everyone here, the first month was a fucking nightmare. In bed most of the time, depression and extreme anxiety and all that fun stuff. As soon as I found this place, I learned about the AM 101 trials and manged to get selected.

Everything about being a human guinea pig for the AM 101 trial was awful. Driving back and fourth almost hours multiple times per month for many months sucked. Justin, the smug, condescending site coordinator in Escondido sucked. The doctor who treated us like a nuisance and dropped then giant needle while it was in my ear sucked. The drug of course did nothing for my tinnitus after all was said and done.

Reading countless stories here, it became clear everyone's T is different and it's impossible to predict what will happen with yours. I thought no more movies, no more concerts, no more most things. As a powerlifter, I thought even that would be over, since I was afraid of the clanging weight sounds.

The first year was super precautions, it took a few months before being brave enough to attempt going to to a movie, even with earplugs and earmuffs. Probably the most nerve racking thing was going to a Legend of Zelda symphony. Plugs, earmuffs and all, I was terrified since I was in 20 feet away from a FULL ORCHESTRA. Saw the show twice, tinnitus stayed the same. Since then I have been to 5 Cirque Du Soleil shows, all with earplugs except this last one on Sunday. Front row, pretty loud, not smart to do without plugs but I forgot them.

My tinnitus has gotten a bit louder since it first hit 2 years I think, but I've weirdly accepted it. Life is just so busy, I don't think of it as some kind of death sentence anymore, it's just a very unfortunate thing that I have to accept and live with. Although it's pretty loud, some days I can make it to almost night time before I remember 'oh yeah I have tinnitus'. Trying to sleep sucks for the first few minutes but like most of us, I have my fans and white noises to help.

I guess I'm trying to say to anyone new here reading this, it does get better. The only thing that I truly feel heartbroken about is not going to rock/rap concerts, missed a lot of great ones this year. Since most are in small clubs/theaters, crazy high decibels in a tight confined space make me too nervous. I'm well aware that my tinnitus is probably going to get worse with age and I wouldn't want to get too cocky with risks.

I know different people here say different things, but I think with reasonable precautions, you can lead a fairly normal life and enjoy most things you used to. I've been to dozens of movies, orchestras, stage shows and such, all with earplugs and I always feel the same afterwards. I always have earplugs in my key chain holder and always pop them in just in case in bar/restaurants when I think it can get a bit too loud. Precautions like this just become second nature over time.

Anyway, I'll cut the rambling here.. If anyone wants to chat I'll be around for a while. I was always grateful in the beginning to the people here who were willing to just talk when things got tough. Best of luck to everyone.

 

Congrats on gettin over the T. You mentioned you powerlift. Does the ringing get worse if you go heavy?

I used to powerlift. Even before I got T, i rememeber my head would hurt and ears would sometimes ring for abit if I go super heavy and held my breath. So now I no longer lift heavy to avoid this.

Also you mentioned you can forget the T most of the day. How loud is it if you dont mind me asking?

 

This is a very encouraging post, especially for newbies who might be feeling like their life is over or isn't worth living. You've found a way to accept your tinnitus without fighting it, which is a major step in the right direction towards habituation. I especially love your comment that "some days I can make it to almost night time before I remember 'oh yeah I have tinnitus'." It's amazing how tinnitus thrives on attention.

I hope your tinnitus improves and doesn't get worse. Very smart to carry those ear plugs with you, because you never know ...

 

Thats a matter of opinion. How about you speak for yourself champion. I replied to someone who appeared to be a Dragon Ball enthusiast so I'm sure they'll at least appreciate it. Why do you follow this thread trying to spread knowledge and make the world a better place but you dont give a shit about Dragon Ball ? Kinda contradictory imo

 

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