Suicidal Two Months After Tinnitus Onset from a Child's Scream

[Joeseph Stope]

This is a really thorny issue, and I wish the experts could come together and show us the right direction to take.

The conventional thinking among therapists is to get used to what they call normal noise. But may I ask, what is normal? The duration of the noise is also important, as is the distance from the source.

Now that we are using the word normal, it might even be that the onset of tinnitus due to noise exposure follows a normal distribution curve or something close to it. Another point to consider is that once someone already has the affliction of tinnitus and hyperacusis, they seem to be much more prone to further damage, or at least it appears that way.

Having said that, I would still agree with the conventional wisdom of therapists. The goal is to somehow get back into the routine of everyday life and try to accustom yourself to ordinary sounds.

To give the counterargument, it was loud noise that got you into this situation. More of the same is likely to cause further damage, possibly even more than for someone who has no history of tinnitus or hearing sensitivity.

It could be that there are at least two groups of sufferers: those who can learn to adapt to loud sounds again and those who cannot. That is not surprising, as there are several types of tinnitus too. Hopefully, the research community can provide better guidance on this pressing question: should we get used to sound, or should we avoid it?

With new imaging technologies and brain research, maybe this generation of audiologists and ENT specialists can come up with an answer.

Even better would be to find a cure.

 

[RattleKat]

Do you mind if I ask whether your nervous system was somehow primed for this before the event? Sometimes, when the system has been carrying constant stress, or past trauma has created a hyper-alert nervous system that constantly scans for threats, even a seemingly harmless trigger can set off a cascade of nervous system responses and create a wide range of symptoms.

Do you have any history of OCD, a perfectionist personality, chronic people-pleasing, or unrealistic expectations? You do not have to share anything personal here, but consider the questions.

Sometimes, when the nervous system has had enough, the brain's protective mechanisms backfire, and what was meant to keep us safe instead becomes the threat. The mind finds a way to trap us. The nervous system's job is not to keep you happy but to keep you alive. And what could seem safer than withdrawing from everything?

Your nervous system has found a way to force you out of the life you were leading. Ask yourself if there is any reason for this. Were you carrying an unreasonable amount of stress before this happened?

Many people interpret worsening symptoms as evidence that the auditory system is damaged and therefore more vulnerable. I played in very loud rock bands for 20 years. I endured 120 dB of noise for hours at a time in tiny rehearsal rooms, at gigs, in studios, and had multiple 100 dB-plus exposures every week for two decades. Yet I never had any serious problems—just mild tinnitus that did not bother me—until I became overwhelmed with life. Then, a loud gig, the same thing I had done countless times, triggered my nervous system and started the same cascade of symptoms you are experiencing now.

It took 20 years of standing next to drum kits for my ears to reach this state, but for you, it was a single scream. Our noise exposure is nothing alike. Perhaps instead, we share a nervous system trait that brought us to the same place.

I would recommend looking up Dr. Yonit Arthur (The Steady Coach) and watching her videos if you can, or reading her materials if you cannot yet tolerate sound.

Keep in mind that success stories do exist. I came across a woman who had hyperacusis so severe that she lived isolated in a basement for years. She later went on to conduct an orchestra! Her hearing was perfect all along; it was her mind that had faltered, and she recovered. You can heal. It is a tightrope walk between gentle exposure and avoiding scaring your system further. A delicate act that some cannot manage, but many do. Given your minimal history of noise exposure, a brain-based condition makes more sense than cochlear damage.

If I can offer you one piece of advice, it would be this: do not chase fixes. Every attempt you make to "fix" the problem tells your brain you are in danger and need fixing. It is counterintuitive, but the key to getting out is letting go of the notion that you are damaged or need to be fixed. You are shocked, you are scared, but you are not broken. If you can, try to gently re-engage with some of the things you used to enjoy. Go slowly, tell yourself you are safe, and do not push so hard that you scare yourself. Do not chase perfection. Learn to live alongside some symptoms first, and improvement will follow.

I am not a doctor, and of course, this is only my opinion based on research and experience, but I truly believe you can heal.