Thank God there is someone in the boat but me.

Discussion in 'Support' started by John Winchell, Aug 11, 2013.

    1. John Winchell

      John Winchell Member

      Redding/Sacramento CA
      Tinnitus Since:
      While I wish, as we all do, that there was no one in the boat, it was a huge relief and help to know that there are others that have gone down this path successfully. I thought I was going crazy, until I found that I wasn't alone in this.

      I started developing tinnitus in January of this year, so I'm six months in. It came on fairly gradually, is in both ears equally, and is non-pulsatile. I am a 58 year old male RN. I have been exposed to noise in my past career as a forest firefighter in helicopters, as well as a helicopter and airplane flight nurse. I also play the bagpipes. All loud, but I tried to use hearing protection as much as possible. I had also been on multiple medications for hypertension, borderline diabetes, GERD, and hyperlipidemia, but have been weaned off all of them when my physician challenged me to try a plant-based diet. So it is a year and a half later, I have lost 50 pounds, am off all my medications, exercise regularly, should feel great, but have horrible tinnitus now. WTF. Pass the pork chops.

      I have been through the full gamut of testing including audiology, CT, and MRI. And I have a some high frequency hearing loss, that is in the exact frequency range in which I perceive my T, so that is probably the cause. My ENT (recommended by the ATA website) gave me the standard nothing you can do, learn to live with it speech, and was done with me.

      And I think that is the answer, I must learn to live with it, but no advice as to how. It is just a noise, it will not kill you, it doesn't even hurt you, is not a symptom of something else, so why is it such a big deal. I have a difficult time concentrating, and wake up every morning feeling the near panic of the noise, which obsess's me all day, as I struggle to be aware of it, and try to detach from it.

      Stress definitely contributes to the volume, and may have had something to do with it coming on. I recently put my mother in hospice with end stage Alzheimer's, began assisting with my younger brother who has just been diagnosed with Alzheimer's (don't you think that keeps me awake at night when I am having trouble thinking straight due to the T), we have lost our beloved dog prematurely, and I just took an unwanted promotion to a more highly stressful job. But, everyone goes through these events, and much worse, in their life. I just wish I could cope more effectively.

      Anyway, I do want to share some progress. I, like many of you, was having a horrible time sleeping at night, and I really did not want to go on medications. I tried white noise generators of all sorts, but instead of working on masking the noise, I have tried to think of the T as benign presence, and have learned to accept it at night. I don't sleep all nights, but most now, although I occasionally take a Benadryl (an old night shift trick). I thought a glass of wine at night would be helpful, but definitely not; I go to sleep OK, but wake a couple of hours later, and that's it for the night. I have also began doing Yoga, especially the more contemplative and meditative styles which has helped. Try using the T as your meditative focus.

      Again, thank all of you for your contributions. This is an agonizing journey, but this forum helps tremendously, and if there is a light at the end, I hope we all make it there.
      • Like Like x 2
    2. Sherri786

      Sherri786 Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      Thank you for sharing, great post.i take camomile tea ( night blend ) to sleep.
      • Like Like x 1
    3. Per

      Per Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      Sorry to hear about your heavy challenges John, seems to me that you're going trough some ruff times now with a new job and illness in family. That can most obviously bring the T to new levels, but seems to me that you have been quite good at habituating at night. I'm looking forward to getting better at that myself.
    4. Jo Jo

      Jo Jo Member

      Fallbrook, California
      Tinnitus Since:
      Thanks you so much for sharing your feelings and frustrations. Some of the things that disrupted my life over the years were tough to get over...but the battle with this has really been the toughest. Dealing with a problem without a cure has been difficult for me due to being a bit controlling! but what has really been most difficult is the people that were the closest to my heart really don't have a clue how this has impacted my life nor have any compassion. If I was maybe in a wheel chair or disfigured....but because I look ok and try not to complain about this horrible 24/7 noise...I too was very taken back when the ENT doctors told me to use an air purifier to dull the noise. Perhaps if I strap it on my back! I'm new on this site and already glad I found you all!
    5. Jade

      Jade Member Benefactor

      Sunshine Coast, Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Genetics, Beats by Dre, Work
      Hello John and WELCOME :)

      I'm sure as you peruse through the forum you'll feel more and more at home with a "family" who is going through the same journey as yourself in regards to T. Sorry to hear about your struggles maybe your T is a culmination of stress and noise? Hope your having a good day and look forward to seeing you on here


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