- Oct 25, 2017
- 3
- Tinnitus Since
- November 22, 2014
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Noise (I believe)
Dear TinnitusTalk folk,
I have decided that the sound in my ear is the loudest sound in the world, because the quieter the world is, the louder it gets. Jet Planes come and go, and eventually turn off their engines, but this sound never stops or diminishes, but just goes on all the time. Almost every other sound in the world turns off at some point. Maybe there are some that don't, waves on the shore of the ocean or a big river waterfall. But those are beautiful sounds, and even if you don't like them, you can walk away and go into a quiet meadow and have some peace. But this tinnitus -- this profoundly loud and ugly and unnatural hissing sound -- follows me to every situation. It gets masked from time to time by other loud noises, but for example we've had heavy rain hitting our metal roof the last couple of days which is LOUD, but it is not even anywhere NEAR as loud as the hissing in my ear/brain.
I have empathy for, and admiration for anyone who can function with this incredibly terrible sound in their ear/head. For me I have always been a fighter and a strong person with adversity, but this is set to drive me crazy, or make me want to die, just to have some peace. I know I can't. My wife loves me, and it would crush her for me to kill myself; and I am involved in many people's lives.
Does anyone know if it is better to tell one's friends about the tinittus or not? I worry that if I tell anyone, they will then not be able to enjoy being around me knowing that I am suffering so deeply with this thing. I feel I can tell all of you, because YOU KNOW.
I have tried various therapies but nothing has shrunk the sound in any way shape or form. I can only seek temporary relief whenever possible, by finding pleasant masking sounds.
On that note I want to tell all of you how blessed I felt recently when I sat down by a gurgling brook in the forest and got my head close enough so that the ugly sound was blended or masked by a beautiful sound. It only lasted as long as I was there, but it was something. A little moment of relief. I tried to hear the sound the stream was making as similar to the sound I have in my head. I think that if I can hear it or perceive it as something beautiful, like water falling onto rocks, then it might not be this big ugly monster who is constantly crushing me and threatening me with worse terror. It works when I am there, but I haven't been able to get it to sound ok yet. I will keep trying.
I hope that one or more of you finds moments of peace or near peace, or partial peace in the company of natural sounds that are similar to your sound, which is your own loudest sound in the world.
Bless you all,
Oen
I have decided that the sound in my ear is the loudest sound in the world, because the quieter the world is, the louder it gets. Jet Planes come and go, and eventually turn off their engines, but this sound never stops or diminishes, but just goes on all the time. Almost every other sound in the world turns off at some point. Maybe there are some that don't, waves on the shore of the ocean or a big river waterfall. But those are beautiful sounds, and even if you don't like them, you can walk away and go into a quiet meadow and have some peace. But this tinnitus -- this profoundly loud and ugly and unnatural hissing sound -- follows me to every situation. It gets masked from time to time by other loud noises, but for example we've had heavy rain hitting our metal roof the last couple of days which is LOUD, but it is not even anywhere NEAR as loud as the hissing in my ear/brain.
I have empathy for, and admiration for anyone who can function with this incredibly terrible sound in their ear/head. For me I have always been a fighter and a strong person with adversity, but this is set to drive me crazy, or make me want to die, just to have some peace. I know I can't. My wife loves me, and it would crush her for me to kill myself; and I am involved in many people's lives.
Does anyone know if it is better to tell one's friends about the tinittus or not? I worry that if I tell anyone, they will then not be able to enjoy being around me knowing that I am suffering so deeply with this thing. I feel I can tell all of you, because YOU KNOW.
I have tried various therapies but nothing has shrunk the sound in any way shape or form. I can only seek temporary relief whenever possible, by finding pleasant masking sounds.
On that note I want to tell all of you how blessed I felt recently when I sat down by a gurgling brook in the forest and got my head close enough so that the ugly sound was blended or masked by a beautiful sound. It only lasted as long as I was there, but it was something. A little moment of relief. I tried to hear the sound the stream was making as similar to the sound I have in my head. I think that if I can hear it or perceive it as something beautiful, like water falling onto rocks, then it might not be this big ugly monster who is constantly crushing me and threatening me with worse terror. It works when I am there, but I haven't been able to get it to sound ok yet. I will keep trying.
I hope that one or more of you finds moments of peace or near peace, or partial peace in the company of natural sounds that are similar to your sound, which is your own loudest sound in the world.
Bless you all,
Oen
