Tinnitus Has Taken My Life Away

yes! not yet but soon

 

wow, i did not watch the date and thought neenie opened this thread TODAY-i was in shock that she is so down again! thank god it was an old thread!

 

and neenie, time to change your mood from "depressed" to

 

Hi Neenie [and All] -

I'm no psychologist, but I suspect that the reason you "feel powerless to change" has to do with the inertia of your depression. You have lost your silence, and you have lost your control. Seems to me that those are two very justifiable reasons for your reactive depression. Thing is - you do have the power to regain your control, and moreover there are actually some very effective strategies for regaining your silence. (Curing your tinnitus? No. But regaining your silence? I would argue, Yes.) So even though you feel powerless to change, you aren't!

In another post I believe you said that you'd done CBT for years, yet many of your comments in this thread are based in emotion rather than logic. So perhaps you might revisit CBT. Have you ever read the book Tinnitus - A Self-Management Guide for the Ringing in Your Ears by Jane Henry and Peter Wilson? It's a great place to start. Unfortunately, the book is out-of-print, and used copies currently run around $130 on amazon.com. Not sure if there is a way for you to contact me off the board (I'm new here!), but if there is, I can tell you how to get a free copy.

Best to ya!

sp

 

Hi Stephen! Are you going to regularly participate on this forum? I hope you stick around. I would love having someone here with your insight.

 

Correct, and correct. I do feel powerless to change. And for me, having power is a big one. For example, when I was anorexic I had the power to change, and I could control that power so I felt ok about staying anorexic because I knew the minute I wanted to change, I could (it actually was not that easy, it took 2 years to get up to my target weight but i always had a sense of control).

At the same time (after working night shift in a sleep clinic) i started feeling really depressed and anxious about my lack of sleep. Now this was something new. Unlike everything else in my life prior to chronic insomnia, it had been ME that was in control. Suddenly it was the insomnia in control and no matter how much effort I put into trying to sleep, it was outside of my control, and that fact I found extremely difficult to deal with. I'm still struggling with it today. I got some control back in the form of medication that makes you drowsy and sleeping tablets so a little of the power over sleep has been regained.

Most recently, as you all know, and can sympathise with, i lost control over what I was hearing. No matter how much I tried to change the circumstances (like control outside noise, herbal supplements, acupuncture, hypnosis, education on tinnitus) it still remained just as loud as it's always been. It annoys me that although I put in all this effort to change, I still couldn't.

It has become clear that I have huge problems with control. I expect to be able to control everything easily. For example, you study for an exam, and then you pass. You controlled that. Or you try really hard to keep a friendship going, and you end up remaining great friends. Unfortunately sleep, and tinnitus are not like that. And this sense of feeling completely out of control makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. Another example. I have to know what I'm going to be eating for the day well in advance and if plans change and I have to eat something else I freak out coz that wasn't the original plan.

I think with tinnitus I'm going to have to learn (a) to accept its presence and (b) understand that it is outside of my control. If any of you have any tips on how to do these things I'd love to hear from you

 

And yes, I would love a copy thanks. my email address is [email removed, Dr. Nagler has received it]

 

I know exactly how you feel, I have had low level T for so many years that it was no big deal. But the last couple of years it is so loud, so intense that I feel I can't continue, but we have to keep on going and trust there will be a cure or that it will ease up one day, or we can just learn to deal with it better. It's a tough battle but don't give up the fight. Try to stay positive the best you can and pray. Not sure how your T sounds but mine is like in the middle of my head, in between both ears, just screaming 24/7.

 

I wonder how @Neenie is doing now?