Tinnitus - The Hardest Thing I've Ever Dealt With

Hey everyone, I've been on the board observing since July 2014, which is when my constant tinnitus started. Finally decided to post for the first time.

First of all, thank you so much for the creators, moderators, and users of this forum. You've been of tremendous help, I can't thank you all enough. I've developed T after recklessly blasting music for years through my headphones, in my car, through loud guitar amplifiers, and concerts. I didn't think I would get a constant ringing in my ears / head, but.. you know what happened. It's been almost 4 months since T started, and it has easily been the most difficult thing I've had to face in my life so far. I realize physically it can't hurt me, and it only has power if I give it power, but mentally its exhausting. I've never dealt with depression and anxiety in my life until T started. It's funny, before T, I was always grateful for my positive attitude and lack of depression / anxiety, which some of my friends have problems with. Now I know exactly how it feels.

I feel as if my exuberant energy has been zapped from me. I try to focus on the moment and be grateful for what I still have, but it's hard. I know it'll get better with time, but nonetheless it's difficult. To top it off, I had / have to deal with replacing my stolen car and finding a new place / roommate since I've had to move in with my dad in the old house I grew up in as kid as he's renovating it to rent it out again. I'm grateful to have a place to stay, even though its an hour out of Los Angeles, where I go to school. The drive along the coast is absolutely beautiful though. It could be worse. The problem is I've been losing all motivation to do anything really. I turn in class assignments barely on time and of average quality.. but I've been going through a lot so it's kind of understandable. I'm not very happy with it though.

Anyway, anyone with tinnitus knows what I'm going through. I've been scouring the internet for ways to potential help me heal T / habituate to it easier. I'm a strong believer that the power of the mind is greatly unknown. What I mean to say is that although tinnitus was caused my acoustic trauma to my ears, I think the problem is a signal of something deeper that's wrong with me. I try to find something positive to give to my T, so it's some way I can improve myself. It's just so hard. I fully believe that advancing medical technology will cure tinnitus and noise-induced hearing loss within the next 5-15~ years. That's a long time still, but I know with all the research and testing being done, along with how many people deal with T, it will come.




Anyway, enough about T for now. A little bit about myself. My name is Rory, I'm a "guy from Hawai'i" living in Southern California, studying photography. I'm 21 years old, pisces (yeah, I'm emotional). I dream and aim to be a professional photographer, taking pictures of music events, artists, traveling, and meeting many interesting, beautiful people. I also play guitar, which I've been playing for about 7 years. Music and photography mean the world to me, I have to artistically express myself.


Nice to meet you all, expect me to post once and a while, and scour the forums every so often. Once again, I'm incredibly grateful for the place to talk about the battle we all face. Silence is golden. We'll have it again, it is just a matter of time. Like the Beatles said, we need to Cooome Togeeetttheeer to get through this. I try to hang out with friends as much as possible, as they're the ones that help me cheer up.

Much love.

 

Hey @Rocknrory

It's nice to meet you

My name is Stacey I am am very similar to you, T started about three months ago and I'm 22 years old.

I also browsed the forum for a while before posting and them decided to introduce myself.

Always here to talk Rory as I'm kind of at the same stage as you I guess, try to hang out in the positive stories area, always cheers me up!
Also the research threads are great and everyone has so much knowledge, makes me think I e lives under a rock my whole life with how many people are so intelligent here

Rory, your going to find the support you need here. There are many lovely people from all over the world, always stay positive. Thanks for introducing yourself Rory, see you round

 

Why hello there o/

Name is Jordan, T started September last year a few days before my 24th birthday (worst birthday present ever!)
I too browsed around for a bit before finally signing up here & talking to others who have it, really helps you feel a whole lot better knowing you can talk to people who 'get it'.
Know the same feeling, massively loved life & was always optimistic, loved the small things like listening to the rain & feeling the wind (bit of a hippie in disguise really) I've known a few people with depression too & always had that mentality (ignorance really) that all you need to do is cheer up! I must admit, i'm very humbled by it all & take it back, it's hard!

I too have an interest in photography, have no experience mind you but wanted to get into that & drawing not long back before this all happened but it's kinda put everything on hold though atm, i'm drawing a little bit atm but can't bring myself to even start looking into photography. I suffer from eye floater too (since I was 13) & this T/HL has only exacerbated it, so it can get a bit much at times..

Hopefully I'll find some peace here amongst you guys & gals as I too am a firm believer of the concept of 'mind over matter' & the power it has.

Keep in touch & let me know how things go.

Peace \o/

 

Hey everyone ,My name is Mike

New to tinnitus too .Mine started Sept 2014 life was fine then bam something I could have never imagined .I thought it could be fixed went to Shea clinic a very well respected ENT clinic in Memphis TN the doc did test said I had hearing loss and subjective tinnitus right ear, no sleep, anxiety sounds all to familiar on here. I'm 50 ex musician studio and live, with alot of ear damage over the years, well everyone we have to believe in the power of positive thought cause as we have all been told it's all in our mind.

Stacy I will go to the research threads hope to find some help.
thanks Rocknrory keep the interest in your music its a beautiful thing .
Jordan no one on the outside understand T really the way we all do
Someday they will find a cure to this stay tough and fight back till then
Lets support each- other Love and happiness
Mike

 

Hey @Stacey427, thank you for your love and support I really appreciate even the slightest of things now, which is good. We have to stay positive and keep pushing forward, cause there definitely is life beyond this sound we all share.

@Kopesy Hey brotha, good to meet you! Talking to others definitely helps tremendously, whether it is with people on this forum or good friends in the "real world". If you're having a down day, tell someone about it instead of bottling it up inside. If they're a good friend, they'll most definitely give you kind words of encouragement. I highly recommend you getting into photography! When I'm taking pictures or playing guitar, T is almost nonexistent. Photography is a beautiful art because the world around us is full of color, texture, light.. you can do anything with it! I enjoy taking pictures of landscapes, sunsets, people, nature, and anything that catches my eye. If you want, feel free to check out my instagram which I update often - http://www.instagram.com/rocknrory. I also have a flickr - http://www.flickr.com/blurredlife. The more you shoot / practice, the more you improve. I'm actually now going to school for photography, as I know it's what I need to do, it's what I love. Much love to you

@uncle vikin We definitely need to believe in a positive mindset, as it's what truly heals us. The physical world is a representation of our inner mental and spiritual world, so in order to truly heal, we must focus on all three aspects.


I just wanted to say thanks and give anyone reading this an update. I'm feeling vastly better than I did a month ago, as I'm now able to not even notice the sound in most situations throughout my day. If I do notice it, it's only brief before I focus on whatever I'm doing again. It's still noticeable at night in a quiet room and especially in the morning when I wake up. I don't freak out anymore though, as I'm accepting it more and also believing in the day when it will be gone for good. I know for a fact it will go away, although I cannot say exactly when. The most annoying part about it now is I wake up in the middle of the night around 2-3am, go back to sleep relatively quickly, then wake up again at 5:30-6 and cannot return to sleep. I still yawn when I wake up, so I figure I'm interrupting deep sleep. I don't feel exhausted throughout the day, but I do feel slightly slower than a year ago when I had perfect sleep. I believe it will improve with time though.

Like I said in my original post, I believe I was given this sound in my ears / head for a reason, which I've been searching for. I know physically it's caused by sound, but I know it goes deeper. I've been emotionally searching to be my real, unfiltered self, for some time. As a pisces, I have the tendency to be an emotional sponge and soak up other peoples feelings, thoughts, instead of just doing my thing. It's both a good and bad thing, it's about moderation. I sometimes care too much about what other people think of me, and I'm pushing to open up and just "do my thang" Tinnitus has also been causing me to do research on alternative healing, with a totally non - judgmental open mind. Nikola Tesla stated that "If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency, and vibration." This thought has caused me to look into energy healing for tinnitus and other symptoms, which has led to interesting finds.

I've also been spiritually expanding rapidly due to tinnitus, so I have to give it some credibility. I'm sure when the sounds are gone, I'll look back at my past and actually be grateful for what they've taught me. I'm not saying that this sound is amazing and wonderful by any means, but it does have some good to it. Duality exists everywhere.


Anyway, thank you all for your support. Much love.

 

Hi @Rocknrory, it was such a pleasure to read what you wrote.

I felt about the same way as you said you did my T started, I'm an artist and musician so the emotional side of T hit me hard. I also went through a major shift and in the end, T served a purpose for me and lead me to good things, better people, through hard lessons and eventually to, I believe, my emergence as a better version of myself. And that is something that is still continuing. T taught me to be attuned to life in a new, more present way and that's gift that keeps on giving.

You're on the right path and I think you know this, but you will be just fine. You'll go on to inspire many I think - keep it up with the art and music (at safe volume levels!) You clearly have a lot of wonderful things to express, the world needs more of that.

Tesla is the man and you're in the right state if you want to look into energy healing and alt. medicine. We're all always here to help if you need it, and we're glad you found us.

Take care : )

 

Hi Rory. My name is Jason. I'm 32 from Indiana. I got my T the same way you did by excessive loud headphone use. Never heard of the condition until I HEARD it. Im also in a wheelchair due to a birth defect but ive accepted that and found solitude gaming and chatting with my friends online but now thats been compromised as well by this nasty phantom siren i hear. I never knew silence was such a privilege until it was taken away. Sound and video editing was my life and now I feel like i cant do it as good as i used to. I really do hope they find a cure soon or at least a way to stop the noise. Like vicodin is a painkiller. They need to come up with noisekillers. Take care