Want to Read My Long Story with Tinnitus and Give Me Some Advice?

Okay, here is the deal with me. I have had anxiety and depression for years. About 3 or 4 years after taking medication for it, I got off my meds (because of side effects) and was fine for a month, then major anxiety kicked in and I took more medication than I should have. I got seriously screwed up and my brain got so messed up that when people talked to me I had to analyze each word they were saying to me before I could respond.

During this time I got tinnitus and it hasn't gone away. For a while it was just a minor nuisance..didn't bother me too much. This was due probably to mind numbing effects of the medication I was on and that I concentrated on that more than the tinnitus. In addition it wasn't too loud. Well, eventually I took fish oil with my meds and that sent my tinnitus through the roof after a couple of weeks so I got off them.

The tinnitus went back down but I still had issues with depression. I eventually weaned off the medication and took flaxseed oil which really helped me out except it was at this point that the tinnitus was more of an issue. I used a fan when in my room even though this did not completely mask my tinnitus.

Only during several occasions did it bother me, however, and when it did I took a Xanax or Klonopin to calm me down (can't remember which). Later on however, I became really stressed out about some other things and the ringing started to bother me big time. I would have up and down weeks. Finally, I started taking Klonopin everyday. This seemed to calm and chill me out to the tinnitus for a while, however, after a couple of years I noticed the ringing was slowly increasing and hearing decreased and I couldn't hear the voices over the TV when the background music was on.

Maybe this hearing loss was caused by continuous use of Klonopin? (please give me feedback if you think this could be the case) I became stressed and depressed about something again and I remember the tinnitus getting loud. I took another Klonopin and noticed it didn't decrease my tinnitus at all and I freaked out and started really panicking. That was my safety net. I had a very, very bad time with tinnitus for months afterward.

I finally got some hearing aids with maskers and those definitely helped but I still had some bad weeks (probably enhanced due to my history of depression and that I believe I had klonopin tolerance (did not want to increase) I keep having good weeks and then bad weeks.

Right now, I am titrating up on a mood stabilizer that I hope will help with this. I can definitely feel an anti depressant effect but I am a little more tense right now because it is more energizing than klonopin. (This could be just a temporary thing until I get used to it) I think it also causes me to clench my teeth at night which could be a problem.

So here is what I am wanting to know. Let's say this mood stabilizer works and I can get more balanced, if I keep overcoming tinnitus again and again, will my brain eventually and consistently say when I start to get bothered by it, "You know, we have been down this road before, and there is no use in getting upset about it, let's move on with life."

Also, I will say that in the left ear, my tinnitus is only partially mask-able.

 

Basically, what I am hoping for is treating it like you would when you feel the clothing you wear on your skin. We don't usually think about it but when we do, it isn't a big deal and we think about other things. (On a consistent basis)