I thank NiNyu for responding openly to a question about how T really affects us. No fluff, no "hope" (dislike that word myself) just a straight response. I agreed with him and felt sorry for shedding a small glimpse into reality by a poster. But he spoke the truth and I backed him up. Others have done it but not as bluntly and bluntly was something I felt I needed to see here. kasart did the same thing. Truths helped me. Here's one sample of a coverup. When considering getting a cochlear implant (CI), I ended up on a website. What I didn't realize at that time was it was a website owned and controlled by one of the three implant companies. My immediate thought was, "These people are on happy pills. WTF is going on here?" I didn't know until I posted a response to a woman who was afraid of surgery and I simply (no more than this) said something about surgeries all having risks. The happy gestapo-like mods sent me an email to remove my post by 10 p.m. la de da happy happy or they would do it for me. I quickly learned it's a site owned and operated by one of the three CI companies and they can do what they want. My career was in info tech and I know realities of the web (to a degree) based on 30 yrs in that field. One of those things I know is the goal was to keep them in business and not allow anything remotely negative posted. I posted what happened in an alldeaf forum and was attacked. I know when a post is removed. But the attacker(s) accused me of lying and I received a form of a threat to report me to the company. My response was a screw you and I deleted all my posts that I could and left the site. It got that nuts. I'm not saying they don't help people but they really can really screw up some people's heads condition dependent - like mine. Here, there is more openness w/our individual reality. We can't deny that T is a complicated disease that does debilitate people to different degrees. We're here to support those who are in pain and looking for answers. But often a certain degree of social mores are followed, so we don't hurt the person more than they're hurting already. I enjoy the occasional laugh (my favorite is doing a neck and head transplant to help us). Yes, I can go to the woods to distract myself. Yes, I can go for a motorcycle ride (when conscious enough) and that helps sometimes and T always there. Yes, too, some people have it and it goes away. But for some part, it seems we're not really stating the reality of the disease to give "hope." If I went on a forum that was completely or too negative, I'd leave it. This isn't meant as a vent at all. I'd like your opinions - not attacks - so I can remain here without the T blowing out head. Why do some of us greatly soften our reality beyond "normal" ... whatever that means ... social mores?