Why Do So Many Here Encourage Others to Leave the Forums in Order to 'Heal'?

Discussion in 'Support' started by SeekIngAlpha, Sep 8, 2016.

    1. SeekIngAlpha

      SeekIngAlpha Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      Why do so many people say leave this forum if you are suicidal or down?
    2. MarioT
      No Mood

      MarioT Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Stress + SSRI medication
      Because people who come here usually do so in order to vent or to share their current frustration about not being able to cope with T.

      Others are still hopeful of a cure being found, discussing therapies and scientific approaches. Unfortunately most of them don't have the medical or scientific backround required (myself included) to understand what they are actually talking about. These kind of debates often result in more frustration and "bad blood" between the debating parties.

      I ve been "blessed" with T for the past 4 years. I ve noticed that while busy, engaged and living a relatively healthy, stressfree lifestyle, it becomes more bearable, sometimes I even forget about it. I do not even think about returning to TT in those times.

      I only come back when it gets worse and I am in need for support. Fortunately there are enough supportive people and threads here as well.

      For newcomers I suggest avoiding most of the threads, sticking only to the "positive" ones.

      T is just a phantom noise. The suffering part is largely a psychological/ psychosomatical phenomenon (my opinion).

      All the best
      • Agree Agree x 1
    3. Ed209

      Ed209 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      I've never seen anyone recommend a suicidal person leave the forum. That seems very harsh to me. Anyone that low needs all the help and support they can get and ive witnessed many people here offer support in abundance when people hit rock bottom.

      However - I have seen and include myself in this - people recommend moderate sufferers to not read too much about tinnitus and to do your best to continue with your life as you did before. Reading about it all the time can make it worse in my experience because it can turn into an unhealthy obsession. I believe that engaging in 'tinnitus activities' just enforces your mind to take an even stronger hold on it. It's almost like tinnitus becomes all you think about after a while and it should be the exact opposite. You should be trying to take up new hobbies that excite your senses in other ways as a good distraction. Once you're past the worst of it it starts to become less important to you anyway. If you decide instead, to read a forum about tinnitus everyday, you may find yourself never getting out of the shadow of it.

      Sometimes it really is best to stop thinking about it, talking about it and acknowledging it as much as you possibly can. Without a cure it's the best option you've got.

      That being said this forum is an amazing place. There are people who genuinely need support and this forum should be for them. I was once that person and I feel I received some incredible support when I needed it most. I believe there comes a point though where you need to move on before it consumes you.

      It's been good to hang around for the last week or so, but it's time for me to crawl back under the rock from which I came from once more. Cheers everyone and I hope you all find some inner peace and move on with your lives. Much love.
    4. MikeP505

      MikeP505 Member Benefactor

      Ontario Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Punishment for being so darn good looking!

      I would hope anyone depressed and even feeling suicidal would remain on TT and read the many stories people openly share here. I myself was once at rock bottom and fully researched "checking out" for awhile. Knowing how others with this issue go thru helps these people to better understand it is just not them going it alone, but countless others around the globe in similar circumstances. In my case, when I really thought about offing myself, I never told a soul. If I were going to do it, it was going to be my decision and not a cry for help. Believe me, I had my "exit strategy" worked out perfectly. There would be no mistake made or failed attempts. I read stories on here where people feeling suicidal decided against it because of how a close relative or loved one would be impacted. That's great news but was not even something I worried about. Sure they would be impacted, but we have all lost someone before or know others who have and they still cope after awhile. I am just glad I didn't get to that final low to carry out my plan at the time. Today, even with all the struggles I live with, I don't even entertain the issue for myself. I do however hope anyone feeling this way will openly discuss it here or with loved ones. I know exactly how they feel. I know just how hard it is with loud tinnitus to cope day to day. How others in your circle do not fully understand. With time and research, anyone thinking about checking out can be encouraged not to go there. This is as good a place to vent your issues as any. You may get a few snide remarks from some, but most of us understand and will be there to support you during the rough times. For those new to Tinnitus, its horrible and devastating. You really can overcome these issues but it takes time. I hope they stay on this forum for as long as needed.

    5. Fangen

      Fangen Member Benefactor

      Stockholm, Sweden
      Tinnitus Since:
      December 2nd, 2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic trauma (loud concert for 1h)
      I have suggested to a few members to leave the forum.

      HOWEVER, I have not seen anyone, myself included, to ask someone that is suicidal or at a very fragile state to leave the forum. Rather the opposite, we ask them to update us on their journey so we can see if they are doing better nor not.
      The times I have suggested members to leave the forum is when it is clear that 1) the person is not mentally very fragile 2) seem to be stuck in their habituation and cannot progress because they keep going on TT which makes them think about T 3) they would benefit a lot to leave for a while and come back when they feel better.

      In all cases, it has been out of caring. Being here might cause some more anxiety, others keep thinking about T if they keep read about it. I felt really bad at onset and kept going on TT which just cause me more pain. I left for a while and when I came back I realized I had detached my feelings from TT, meaning that I could read about T and people's stories (good and bad) without feeling anxious.

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