Lynny

Haven’t been sleeping, and when I do tinnitus wakes me up at least five times a night. :(

Also, I’ve been tapering off xanax. There’s been a couple setbacks and I feel like crap but I’m slowly getting closer to getting clean :)

Still coping by masking. I can tolerate almost all noises except the ones in my head.

New higher frequency sound above all the others, it’s been 2 weeks, I’m worried now

Got my first decent mark since t! Still feel like they might’ve mixed up the tests :)

Suddenly lost hearing in left ear, it’s slowly coming back now. Quite a traumatic experience :(

It’s been two months after the spike, still no improvements

Right ear worse than left ear. Although the main sound is relatively low frequency I can now hear it practically everywhere

https://youtu.be/iqw9iJeIlv0 approximately my main tone

Doubled in volume. (Using this as a log)

Loud. Tired.

It’s spike time :’) (..assuming this horrid loudness will eventually subside)

Failed the first test I took since T (but at least I sat through it :)

Dentist appointment tomorrow. Quite worried about spikes :(

This is what it took for me to confirm I am indeed not someone who suffers gracefully

No airconditioner at work anymore:( makes it difficult to focus

Productive week. School 5 days and work in evenings and on Saturdays. Filling my days with things to do and background noise.

It’s not the anxiety, it’s literally the SOUND that bothers me! Wish people would take the direct effect of T more seriously

T slowly but steadily getting worse. Distracting and masking. It’s going to be a year ago soon.

Pretty sure there’s a permanent increase. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I don’t know what to do.

High pitched hiss in left ear after a cold. I really hope this goes away, it’s not maskable due to its high frequency.

Strange ‘fluttering’ sensations in ear. Also ear pain :(

it feels so weird to be ‘normal’ around others all day and then get major anxiety attacks when I get home

‘Fleeting’ t lasted 5 minutes. So loud I couldn’t hear other people speak. It’s softer now but still there. So scary

T is getting louder and louder

School today. So nervous.

Ok so I bought a new perfume and by day 5 I already can’t smell it anymore? Why does my nOse habituate at the speed of freaking lightning?

School starts tomorrow and I have NO IDEA how the hell I’m going to do it

I need headphones to mask during the day as well now:( never put them inside my ear though.

Annual fireworks outside my window tonight. Reminder to compare my life to now this time next year if I make it until then. Hopefully better