Try to do some breathing exercises @PennyCat if possible so it may calm you a bit. Even though you are struggling now, there are better days ahead. Have faith in that!
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You had good days, remember those. Look at all of the people who are living their life to the fullest. They once started out like us. So it has to get better as time goes on! I think being in the middle of the storm is the hardest because you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. The storm will pass though and this will all be a memory one day. Remember you have us while you're in the storm. 
I can only say that I am in a very similar place myself. This is so rough. I so hope better days are coming for all of us. Have you had any good days recently? If you have, that is proof it can happen again. Big hug and hang in there
@MindOverMatter @Mo8409 Thank you both very much, I appreciate your kind words a lot <3