@tomytl, Is this the only medication you've been using? I looked it up online and found out it's a benzo. You probably know this by now, but it's crucial to be very careful with benzos. People can experience severe withdrawal symptoms. There are even benzo support/victim groups, similar to our tinnitus forums.
Tinnitus Talk Support Forum
@tomytl, I'm still lost. My days are spent searching for a rental and remote jobs. Breaking up, my life turning upside down, my upcoming surgery, and the DP/DR-like feelings of unreality and dreaminess have completely wrecked me. My sense of reality is shattered. I have no idea what's going to happen or how to cope.
I've been taking magnesium, curcumin, betahistine (Betaserc), and sometimes zinc. Honestly, I'm not sure if they're making a difference, at least not immediately. I keep taking them because I always have, and things eventually become more bearable. However, I believe the biggest healing factor is time or what the brain and other processes do with it.
I can't make predictions since each case is different, but at your young age of 26, I believe you still have strong regenerative abilities. I remember my doctor telling me in 2003, when I was 28, that in three years I wouldn't notice it anymore. While I still felt it, I was able to lead a fulfilling and balanced life because the issue in my head faded enough into the background.
But every time it hits, you're so deeply affected that it's hard to imagine getting through it, even though I just wrote those encouraging words myself. The uncertainty of how long it will last or how it will turn out is overwhelming. Even though I'm 50, I don't feel that way in everyday life, and most people think I'm 10 to 15 years younger.
@tomytl, I don't know, really. I still feel like I'm in a nightmare. I can't believe this is happening to me. I can't accept what has happened. In the first month, I tried to accept the tinnitus and somewhat did, but mine is the most severe type. It's still extremely challenging. Despite my hearing being damaged, early treatments weren't applied.
I know that anyone my age would either struggle with heavy medication, lose their mind, or commit suicide. I'm still looking for a place to stay. Even worse, I haven't found a job suitable for my condition yet. I don't know if I ever will. Every day is filled with new struggles and pain. I was a happy, vibrant person and suddenly found myself in this situation.
Your situation is incredibly tough, and it takes so much energy to get through it. People who haven't experienced it can't really understand. Just today, I met someone who kept saying, "Stay positive and move forward..." Sure, try doing that in one of our situations—it's so frustrating. They would never say that to someone who is paralyzed or blind. What field are you looking for work in? What's your profession?
I often wonder how I'm supposed to make it to 60 if things keep going this way. It's really depressing to think about how some choices could've prevented all this mess. The only comfort is that I've been at this point before, and life did move on somehow. I was actually quite content before this setback, even with my hearing loss and tinnitus—it's crazy when I think about it.
@tomytl, I studied finance in my home country but moved to the UK before finishing. During my time here, I worked in various restaurants across different cities. The last one was in one of London's most popular areas, and it was the best and most enjoyable job I've ever had. The working environment was very pleasant and fun. I spent some of the best times of my life working there and still miss those days.
Unfortunately, I had to leave the job due to a knee problem. I spent some time looking for a suitable job but couldn't find one. I realized this wasn't working and decided to return to my old job. Just as I was about to apply, I developed an abscess that required surgery. The abscess was drained under general anesthesia, and the surgical site was left open to heal over time.
However, it kept closing and reopening, sometimes swelling and bursting, and continued to cause pain for several months. The last doctor I saw said the tissue in that area needed to be completely removed. I had a similar surgery 10 years ago. Just when I was planning to return to work, this surgery became necessary. A few months later, the ear thing happned, which destroyed me.
Otherwise, even if I had to undergo this surgery every month, it wouldn't have affected me so badly; I could still get a dr's note that I was unable to work. But now, I can't even get a note for that. Misfortunes piled up, but as I said, I was still able to carry on with my life except for the ear issue. I had never thought that my life was over or ruined until this ear problem put an end to everything.
That's really tough to read. While many things can't be compared, anything affecting the mind can be particularly challenging and close to home. I hope you have a good doctor with whom you can openly share how you're feeling. There has to be a way to stabilize things, and from there, you can take the first steps toward improvement.
@tomytl, as I mentioned, apart from this ear issues, I never took other things too seriously. Of course, they were unpleasant, but nothing compares to this ear problems. I don't know how things will turn out; I'm just trying to get through each day. There's nothing left of my old self. I keep trying to stay busy every day, but how long can that last?
Exactly, you have to keep yourself busy and try to distract, though it's easier said than done. I find myself constantly checking my ears every 15 seconds, frustrated with myself for past mistakes and feeling like it's all pointless. But sometimes, just sometimes, it feels a bit better, and those are the small, valuable steps forward.
Unfortunately, I've withdrawn a bit from everyone, not wanting to burden them with my bad mood, but they all miss me. I find it hard to be cheerful when I'm feeling this way, so I prefer to focus on my endurance training and wait for sleep. Tomorrow, I have a massage for my neck and jaw.
I also found craniosacral acupressure to be quite soothing. It may not heal, but it can help you relax. Maybe it could help calm your nerves as well.