8 Years with Tinnitus, Life Goes On

Hi there,

I remembered Tinnitus Talk when receiving a newsletter and thought I might as well write some stuff.

I got my tinnitus back in 2011, life became a living hell.
I was already in a bad state before with on and off depression periods, anxiety, not much friends left around me etc. Then tinnitus came and I literally fought with myself to keep on living.

I won that fight with some help from therapy and medication back then.
Back then my tinnitus was not that bad, I mostly heard it when it was quiet around me.

A few years later my tinnitus worsened for reasons unknown. Now it was a much higher pitch and louder.
Again I went into a bad spiral when I realized this is not going away.
I questioned myself if I could even have a decent life, I hardly had any life before all this tinnitus started and this made it even harder to imagine.

The noise now was much worse, daily life did not mask it anymore. The only normal thing that masked it was taking a shower. Fan noise etc did nothing because of the high pitch and volume.

Now it's November 2019 and the same month I got my tinnitus back in 2011.

Life goes on.
I got myself an education, a steady job, found new friends and got myself this life I questioned I could ever get.

I see some people mention in their story that they only hear their tinnitus now in very quiet surroundings etc.
This is not the case for me, I still very much hear it everywhere normal, it has not gotten lower in volume or anything.
But I only had 2 options, I either live with it, or I don't. And I refuse to give up on the 1 life we have on this planet.
My mother has fibromyalgia and she was kind off in the same position, either you learn to live with it or you don't.

Sometimes I get down/anxiety over my tinnitus, it happens. But I can reel myself back.

I would of course love if my tinnitus would go back in the depths and only hear it sometimes, or just be gone. But it has not happened until now and I don't expect it to happen anyway, so I stopped waiting for it.

 

Guest9201, this is super hard to overcome. I'm shy of 6 months in and it has been deeply deeply trying. Little tidbits of hope keep me going. I believe we are all going to hear silence within the next 5-10 years, if not sooner. It takes incredible courage to choose life. There ARE moments I've experienced that make me glad I've stuck around, as few and far between they may be. Thanks for sharing your story.

 

Only been a few years for me. Constant high pitched noise 24/7. Just got to carry on. At least it's not external. No people staring at you...just me and the sound.