It has been a while since I have been here. About three years, actually. I have had my tinnitus and hyperacusis for about six years now, and honestly, the last couple of years have been good. I found a new passion after quitting music, and I have enjoyed my life more than I did when I had healthy ears. It is strange how a life-altering accident can change a person from the inside. Believe it or not, I have done a tremendous amount of work on myself, my ears, and my life over the past six years.
Of course, I have had some accidental spikes during these years, such as at the dentist, and I have ended up in places that were too loud a few times. But nothing serious happened, and for the most part, I have been able to live a fairly normal life. Naturally, I have avoided loud environments.
Last week, though, my school friends invited me out. I have studied with them for three years and never gone out with them before. I do not get invited out very often, so I thought, "Okay, why not?" They knew about my condition. I have told people about it, so they understood that I would be wearing earplugs the entire night.
I took my earplugs with me—silicone plugs with about 25 decibels of reduction—and kept them in the whole time while we were inside the bar and later the nightclub. This was my first time going out with earplugs, and I thought I was prepared.
My ears felt fine the entire night. I had no issues at all. At one point I briefly removed one earplug to check how loud the noise was and told them, "Holy... it's so loud!" and immediately put it back in.
I finally got home with no issues, but the next day when I woke up, my tinnitus had gone from a 1 or 2 out of 10 to a 7 out of 10. This is a nightmare. I have had spikes before, and they are always mentally very difficult. I ask myself, "Is this permanent? Will it go away? Am I going to survive this?" In the past, all my spikes have gone away in two to four weeks. So maybe this one will too.
But I am so disappointed in myself. I was so happy before this. Why did I put myself through that? I should have known better.
The good news is that I have only slight hyperacusis symptoms, and my hearing is only a little more sensitive. Usually, when I have had spikes in the past, my hearing has been much more reactive.
I just wanted to feel normal, maybe one last time, and spend some quality time with my friends before we go our separate ways after graduation. But now I know that I cannot ever go into any place louder than a restaurant, even with earplugs. No concerts, no clubs, no bars, nothing like that ever again, even with protection.
I am just feeling down. Part of me is angry with myself, and part of me understands. This probably would have happened eventually, since I had always wondered whether I could go out if I used earplugs. Well, now I have my answer.
Now I am afraid I might have caused permanent damage. I was actually in the same club once about six years ago without earplugs. That was a stupid decision. I had forgotten them at home and wanted to please my friends. I got a bad spike then too, but I recovered well. I have not been back there since—until now, with earplugs.
Just wanted to vent a bit. Be careful, everyone. Even with earplugs.
Of course, I have had some accidental spikes during these years, such as at the dentist, and I have ended up in places that were too loud a few times. But nothing serious happened, and for the most part, I have been able to live a fairly normal life. Naturally, I have avoided loud environments.
Last week, though, my school friends invited me out. I have studied with them for three years and never gone out with them before. I do not get invited out very often, so I thought, "Okay, why not?" They knew about my condition. I have told people about it, so they understood that I would be wearing earplugs the entire night.
I took my earplugs with me—silicone plugs with about 25 decibels of reduction—and kept them in the whole time while we were inside the bar and later the nightclub. This was my first time going out with earplugs, and I thought I was prepared.
My ears felt fine the entire night. I had no issues at all. At one point I briefly removed one earplug to check how loud the noise was and told them, "Holy... it's so loud!" and immediately put it back in.
I finally got home with no issues, but the next day when I woke up, my tinnitus had gone from a 1 or 2 out of 10 to a 7 out of 10. This is a nightmare. I have had spikes before, and they are always mentally very difficult. I ask myself, "Is this permanent? Will it go away? Am I going to survive this?" In the past, all my spikes have gone away in two to four weeks. So maybe this one will too.
But I am so disappointed in myself. I was so happy before this. Why did I put myself through that? I should have known better.
The good news is that I have only slight hyperacusis symptoms, and my hearing is only a little more sensitive. Usually, when I have had spikes in the past, my hearing has been much more reactive.
I just wanted to feel normal, maybe one last time, and spend some quality time with my friends before we go our separate ways after graduation. But now I know that I cannot ever go into any place louder than a restaurant, even with earplugs. No concerts, no clubs, no bars, nothing like that ever again, even with protection.
I am just feeling down. Part of me is angry with myself, and part of me understands. This probably would have happened eventually, since I had always wondered whether I could go out if I used earplugs. Well, now I have my answer.
Now I am afraid I might have caused permanent damage. I was actually in the same club once about six years ago without earplugs. That was a stupid decision. I had forgotten them at home and wanted to please my friends. I got a bad spike then too, but I recovered well. I have not been back there since—until now, with earplugs.
Just wanted to vent a bit. Be careful, everyone. Even with earplugs.
