Acceptance of the Present, Hope for the Future: 4 Years on, I'm Good

[mknature]

I am BACK to Tinnitus Talk because I thought my life was over when I first got here in 2020. I really couldn't see myself being someone writing "tinnitus doesn't bother me" on this success stories thread. But HERE I AM! This makes me pretty happy, and I want to share to give hope to others, as I was desperately looking for hope here just a few years ago.

Notes: 36 Y/O, moderate bilateral sensorineural hearing loss - potentially progressive (we'll deal with that when it comes), got worsened tinnitus in April 2020 after taking Gentamicin, followed by Maxitrol eye drops (Neomycin, Polymyxin B, Dexamethasone) to treat a chalazion (which, ironically, went away after taking the oral Prednisone to potentially reverse the damage; add that to Alanis Morissette's song.) I now wear hearing aids without a masker (the masker annoyed me, and I thought it made the tinnitus worse). I can hear the tinnitus everywhere except the shower.

Now: Yes, I still hear the tinnitus, and no, most days, it doesn't bother me at all. Most days, I don't think about it at all. Many days are really quiet. There are a few days when I'd like it to be quieter, but these are fewer and fewer as time goes on. The path was not linear- lots of spikes- and recently, I looked into doing some work with either Dr. Ben Thompson's team or Glenn Schweitzer as I follow them. I might look into Lenire or Dr. Susan Shore's device when it comes out, but really, things have stabilized to the point that I don't absolutely need to cure it. Would that be nice? Sure, but it's not an all-out struggle anymore.

With that, my mantra is "acceptance of the present, hope for the future," because I know this can be a VERY challenging thing to come to terms with. I know that even with louder days, I'm fine. I know they will go away. I still do think we can come up with some really good research that will treat this objectively, so I'm still on board with that, especially if my tinnitus does get worse with worsening hearing. Plus, I want everyone still struggling with this to have an objectively good option instead of our little band of renegade researchers and foragers.

My new problem, which has been around for six weeks, is eye floaters! So, my brain has something else to freak out about now. Wish me luck in my other habituation journey!

 

[MindOverMatter]

@mknature, your mantra, "Acceptance of the Present..." is important and the key to getting your mind and auditory system ready for habituation. In my opinion, it's not possible without acceptance.

Thanks for sharing your story!

 

[momus]

Acceptance of the present is kind of a no-brainer. I mean, things just are what they are. Not experiencing that is a lie and leads to even more suffering because everything IS just what it is. We don't have to accept it; it's there whether we accept it or not. It is best to acknowledge reality as it is and move on.

Like you, @mknature, my tinnitus fluctuates between not being audible and being a royal PITA. I keep remembering something from my youth that said, "All things will pass." Mine goes up, it goes down, etc. I'll get worried if it goes up and stays up, but it hasn't happened like that for decades, so I don't worry about it.

 

[Sadnoise]

Congratulations on achieving such a mindset and being OK with it. I think my tinnitus would be in a similar position on some days, but my hyperacusis and dysacusis symptoms make it very difficult right now. Nonetheless, I think people, regardless of what they have, who can find this kind of acceptance live happier lives than people with similar complaints who cannot.

Unfortunately, I consider myself the latter. If this does not subside, I do not know where to find the strength to get into some acceptance mode. That is definitely not easy, but hopefully, at some point, I can say I am happy.

Thank you for your success story.

 

[Nick47]

Acceptance is the way forward for now. However, we must tell ENTs, audiologists, and researchers that we don't accept any currently available treatment. That is unacceptable!

 

[Michael Leigh]

Acceptance is the way forward for now. However, we must tell ENTs, audiologists, and researchers that we don't accept any currently available treatment. That is unacceptable!

I agree with some of your comments. However, I hope no tinnitus patient tells their ENT and audiologist that the treatment they are receiving is unacceptable, for they are likely to be told to go elsewhere for treatment. I prefer to be more humble and respectful to medical staff who are trying to help me because such an attitude can often come across as rude and ungrateful.

Tinnitus and hyperacusis can be extremely difficult conditions to treat, especially when they are severe, so one needs all the help they can get.

Michael