Always Slightly Annoyed by Tinnitus, but Hanging in There — Youth Spent Using Headphones and Earbuds

Hello all,

Long-time lurker, first time poster. I've had this wonderful company in my head for almost 4 years now, since March 2020, when I was 28.

Don't know what the cause is and at this point I don't think I ever will know for sure. That's fine. If I had to play the probability game, I'd say it was a youth spent using headphones and earbuds resulting in some manner of hidden hearing loss. I'm no longer hung up about obsessively searching for the cause ... it's exhausting and I'm very unlikely to ever get to the bottom of it.

I won't bother trying to categorize my tinnitus, because it truly is a spectrum, but I can generally hear it over anything I'm watching on TV and when I'm outside, but not usually when I'm driving in my car. I say generally because it's very heavy on the fluctuations; I can have 2 weeks where I feel human, followed by 4 where I'm at my wit's end, or I can have one day be fine, two be bad, three be fine, with no rhyme or reason or triggers. I'm done pretending I have any real control over this disorder - I'm along for the ride, and the winds of fate will take me where they will.

As you can probably guess from my name, I love to mask. Masking is great. I do it whenever the noise gets too annoying, or when I just want a break. I think of it as holding up a contemptuous middle finger to the poorly-designed wiring inside my skull. I'm immensely thankful that masking is mostly effective for me, even if it is just replacing one annoyance with another. To those who can't mask, or can no longer mask, I'm sorry; you have a strength of will that is truly remarkable.

Like most of us, I'll be here in the background, compulsively checking the Susan Shore thread and the research subforum for the faintest promise of lasting relief.

Won't bore you with any more. Thanks for having me.

alwaysmasking

 

I appreciate you and your post. I think you have as good an attitude and perspective as one could have. Did you ever have hyperacusis with your tinnitus?

 

Thankfully not. It uh... doesn't sound fun, to say the least.