Am I Getting Better or Is My Mind Playing Tricks?

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by Tibberz, Jun 4, 2015.

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    1. Tibberz
      Supportive

      Tibberz Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Michigan
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      5 9mm Gunshots
      Hello Everyone,

      I've been skimming these forums for the past couple months now and I finally feel like making a post.

      On April 4th I made the mistake of wanting to know what my 9mm pistol would sound like if I had to use it in an emergency and shot 5 rounds unprotected at an outdoor range. Needless to say my ears have been ringing since. While I was shooting it felt like my left ear popped and the majority of the ringing was in that ear, although both ears are ringing.

      At the time I shrugged it off, figuring it would be gone by morning, ive never had Tinnitus before except for what I think you guys call fleeting tinnitus that happens randomly for a few seconds everyone once in a great while. By morning, the ringing was just as loud and my left ear could not hear anything that sounds like an "S" if you were to say the letter, if there was an s in a word, that part of the word would be silent (This fixed itself within the first week and a half and the left ears T became quieter than the right ears T). I think I also had a severe sensitivity to most sounds for the first 3-4 weeks but that has since gone away. The first week I coped decently, was upset but week 2 my mind broke and that is literally the darkest week of my life. I couldn't eat, if I did I would throw up, or feel like throwing up. I think I lost about 10 lbs since this event. I tried to get some help from doctors but they were of no help. After pleading with them they managed to get me on a 2 month waiting list to see an ENT (I go in on June 22) and gave me meds that treat insomnia (I was back to eating normally within 2-4 days from getting meds. I also decided to take alegery meds to keep my sinuses clear and magnesium based on some reports on this forum (still taking these daily).

      For the most part ive been holding out hope that it will go away completely. The volume of the T seems to be dropping little by little in weekly increments. I did a lot better mentally than I did in April (not as many emotional breakdowns), and so far June has been stable. What im worried about is that while I think the volume is decreasing, I made the mistake 2 weeks ago of not having a fan on in my room and the T just started screaming as loud as ever while I was lying in bed (making me think my mind may be playing tricks on me making me think the volume is lower). It lowered back to bearable levels after getting up and doing things.

      My current situation is I can hear the ringing especially when im in bed, sometimes while sitting at my computer but usually not when my mind is busy on a task. Although I think its there im just not giving it any attention as if I go looking for it I can at least hear a high pitch eeee in my right ear in almost any environment if I focus on it. I have not noticed much, if any improvement the past 2 weeks :(.

      I may have an opportunity to take part in the AM101 study, i plan on getting advise from the ENT but what are your thoughts on Am101? From what ive seen it may not be worth it, but I WANT SILENCE again so anything may be worth risking. I would have a 2hr drive each way if I were to participate.

      Thank you all for your time. I look forward to our future conversations :)
       
    2. Danny Boy
      Cheerful

      Danny Boy Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      7/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ear infection
      I would go for AM-101 as some people have reported great results, however some people have had bad experiences it's a risk...But I would take it if I were you. How bad is your tinnitus on a scale of 1-10?
       
    3. Tibberz
      Supportive

      Tibberz Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Michigan
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      5 9mm Gunshots

      1 Being Forgetting Tinnitus most of the day and 10 being I can hear it 24/7 over everything I would rate myself at a 2- or 3 the past week (provided i am keeping busy, if im being lazy in a quiet room it rises to around 5. The first month I would have for sure been a 7-9. Mental meltdowns only occur when it spikes.
       
    4. Danny Boy
      Cheerful

      Danny Boy Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      7/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ear infection
      Well, if it's seriously bad I would go and try AM-101...If it's mild tinnitus, then maybe it's worth a go. It's entirely up to you really.
       
      • Winner Winner x 1
    5. Tibberz
      Supportive

      Tibberz Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Michigan
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      5 9mm Gunshots
      Major concern is making it worse, I can see myself coming to terms with its current level but if it ever got worse, might end me.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    6. Michael2013
      Happy

      Michael2013 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      September 2013
      I think the answer is simply yes. :)

      Even if you're feeling better only because your mind is playing tricks, that's a very good thing. Those mind tricks will make you stop noticing it and it won't even be there.

      -Mike
       
    7. Carlos1

      Carlos1 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Boston
      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Root Canal
      @Tibberz If you think its getting better or at least your mind is giving you the perception of it getting better then I'd wait little longer and see where your at in the near future....The possibility of it getting worse with an experimental drug would want me to wait a little longer like I said ....as long as you seem to be getting better....just my opinion.
      take care

      Carlos
       
    8. erik
      Breezy

      erik Manager Staff Benefactor

      Location:
      Washington State, USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/15/2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Most likely hearing loss
      Mind playing tricks is just part of it. I think because of this and that you are forgetting about it when busy you are starting to habituate. The brain is changing and adapting. It may seem like tricks but the brain is resilient, so any changes are good at this point.

      As for AM-101, you will need decide this for yourself, consult with your doctor and then try to get into the study. Like Danny Boy said, some have had good luck with treatment and others not so good but then again that seems to be the norms with any tinnitus treatment thus far.
       
    9. shantelle

      shantelle Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise induced
      My situation is very similar to yours..i enrolled in the am 101 amd they give you 2 weeks before the injections...i figured id get my ducks in a row and i 2 weeks of i still show no improvement i can go..im am scared shitless of it getting worse...in any case 3 months later they offer the actual drug so i will at least give it 2 rounds unless it goes away or i have a reaction to the injections. Im coming down with a cold and my ears wont pop easily and my t sounds much louder...im going insane.
       
    10. Tibberz
      Supportive

      Tibberz Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Michigan
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      5 9mm Gunshots
      Guess my best course of action is to line up the schedules so I see the ENT the week before the shots. I would literally get the shots the last week of eligibility of the trial. Can always drop out if it improves before the shot date.
       
    11. shantelle

      shantelle Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise induced
      Exactly my thoughts too
       
    12. sandra72

      sandra72 Member

      Location:
      Netherlands
      Tinnitus Since:
      may 2014
      When my T started in mey 2014 it whas loud. I could hear it over everythin besides shower en car riding. Now i have days that i can only hear it in silence and also have days when its louder and can hear it over the tv. Don't know why that is. I somethimes thinks is my mind playing with me? Is the sound and loudness the same as before. Is it because i have days when i dont think about it i just dont hear it? Or is the sound lower by folume? I dont know.
       
    13. Tibberz
      Supportive

      Tibberz Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Michigan
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      5 9mm Gunshots
      Im beginning to think mine is more of a sinus / ear pressure issue now.

      It's always the worst while laying down (fluids rushing to head), any time of day. Pretty sure I have compacted earwax that the Urgent Care doctor thought was my eardrum (They googled crap right in front of me, best thing they did was refer me to an ENT) and noticed my improvements really started happening when I started taking alergy drugs that are supposed to clear my sinuses (these drugs are usually fading out when im going to bed, then I take more when I wake up or else ill never sleep.) I can also usually find relief if I wet the tips of my pinkie fingers and wiggle them a little bit in my ear, usually getting a small amount of wax in the process, i think this also helps alleviate pressure inside the ear. The volume always seems to recede back to normal levels if I do this during a spike. Not sure what to think other than T is confusing as hell.

      Woke up with a spike today, stood up and almost got instant relief. Took a shower as well. While typing this I can still hear it but it seems lower in volume, but it will probably be back later today when I go to a funeral where there will probably be little masking noise.
       
    14. Mike34

      Mike34 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2014
      Sorry to hear about your situation and good luck with everything. Best I can say is try not to monitor it all the time. Your brain needs to learn it's not a "dangerous" sound so it can ignore it.
       
    15. Nic1982

      Nic1982 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      28/5/15
      How was your ent appointment yesterday?
       
    16. Tibberz
      Supportive

      Tibberz Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Michigan
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      5 9mm Gunshots
      Not any better than its gone for anyone else here. They told me I looked fine,and that I could try some "tinnitus reliefe" regimen (essentially Ginko) and id have a 50% chance of that helping. Researching that hear it likely wont help me at all as mine is directly damage to the ear, ginko is a blood thinner. He also gave me a pamphlet on it which rubbed me the wrong way. He seemed somewhat optimistic that I had reported things getting better over the last two months, but reaffirmed nobody knows if or when T will go away. holding out hope I will continue to recover naturally.

      Since my initial post, I would say my emotional responce to T is MUCH improved, no longer having breakdowns unless I return to my mindset in the early days of fear mongering about the future, and my perceived volume has definitely lowered. I can go several hours of time being oblivious to its presence until it spikes or I start to think about T.

      PS, any newcomers to this site, it is still IMPORTANT to see an ENT to make sure there is NOTHING they can do. It may have been a waste of time for me, but what if they had found something wrong that was causing the T?
       

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