Am I the Unluckiest Person on Earth When It Comes to Tinnitus? My 6-Year Tinnitus Nightmare: How One Festival Changed My Life

[Kam75]

Hi all, I have been a regular on Tinnitus Talk since 2019, but I feel the need to share my tinnitus history as my emotional state is currently at its lowest.

I will try to be as concise as possible so as not to make it too boring to read.

The first time I had tinnitus was in 2012. I was 21, and it happened in a bar in Manchester, where I was doing my Erasmus.

During the evening, I wore earplugs because I was already aware of the dangers of noise. At one point, I removed my earplugs to hear my friends, and it only took a few minutes for me to develop my very first tinnitus.

Luckily, it was only one sound, and it was so faint that I got completely used to it after a few weeks.

I was able to live a completely normal life and sleep without any problems.

Since then, I have always worn custom-made hearing protection that provides minus 25 dB of attenuation.

I used to go to parties and nightclubs without any problems, until 2019, when I went to a pagan metal festival.

The music was very loud, but I stayed at the back of the room and took regular breaks. Of course, I wore my custom-made minus 25 dB hearing protection.

Unfortunately, this did not prevent me from suffering an extremely serious sound trauma that has left me severely disabled ever since. I developed at least five different tinnitus sounds (such as dental drills, sirens, pipes, Morse code, etc.) and hyperacusis.

This festival certainly did not respect the regulatory decibel threshold in France, because I should never have suffered this sound trauma while wearing custom-made minus 25 dB hearing protection.

I still cannot accept that this has happened, when most people go to parties every weekend without any protection and never develop tinnitus, or develop it only after years without protection.

But in short, since that day my life has become a nightmare.

I have no more social life, and above all, I no longer sleep, because the tinnitus wakes me up constantly.

In 2020, I took Naproxen for foot pain for a few days. The result was worse tinnitus.

My ENT confirmed that it is indeed an ototoxic anti-inflammatory. Such bad luck, especially since I could have done without it.

Until 2023, I lived in complete silence, avoiding noisy activities.

My emotional state improved, and I slept much better. I felt almost cured, even though my tinnitus was still loud, and had even considered posting a success story on Tinnitus Talk.

I was feeling so much better two years ago that I started to socialise again, going to bars, parties, and sometimes clubs.

I resumed my social life not mainly for pleasure, but mainly to find a woman.

Unfortunately, this resumption of social life made my tinnitus worse than ever.

I have been living in absolute hell for two years. I cannot sleep at all, despite the combination of medicines I am taking (Mirtazapine, Melatonin, Alimemazine, Quetiapine).

Absolutely nothing works, because my tinnitus is so intense. It wakes me up every thirty minutes on average.

My tinnitus is so intense that I can even hear it in the noisy Paris underground or on a train. Just imagine.

I am living a nightmare. I cannot even go to work anymore because of the lack of sleep.

Fortunately, I have been able to negotiate four days a week of working from home. If I did not have the option to work from home, I would not even be able to work at all.

I am 34 years old and I live alone, locked in my room, with no hope.

I will never dare go back to a social life, given the hell I am going through at the moment.

I only go out to do the shopping and go to the gym, because it is the last activity I have, even though it is very hard to do when I am so tired.

I really do not know what to do.

I am lost. I cry every day.

I have lost everything because of this horrible disease.

I have the bitter feeling that I have wasted not only my youth, the best years of my life, but my whole life.

Thank you for taking the time to read everything.

Perhaps my story will help you put things into perspective if your situation is less serious.

I do not know how I am going to cope with living like this for another fifty years.

I badly need support.

Please write to me. I am going insane. I feel so lonely in my room.

 

[vilebubbles]

I am so sorry. I wish I had advice. I am also living in my room. I had to leave my job, my home, my husband, and my son to move in with my mom because I could not handle the noise at home. I have only had tinnitus for 9 months, but it went from mild to severe within a few weeks back in January after several acoustic incidents and medications. I just sit in this room all day. I am going crazy as well.

 

[Kam75]

I am so sorry for you also, @vilebubbles, but nine months is not that long, if I may say so. You might recover a little in a couple of years if you protect your ears from noise and ototoxic medications.

I can confirm that this terrible condition can improve, but not without a lot of sacrifices, such as giving up your social life entirely.

I forgot to mention that I also have a sort of electric sound that moves in my head. It is impossible to habituate to it, and it is one of the most annoying sounds I experience. It keeps waking me up at night.

My psychiatrist has been trying for years to get me to take another antidepressant, Venlafaxine, but I am very reluctant because tinnitus is listed among the side effects, and people on Tinnitus Talk have said that they developed tinnitus because of this drug.

For now, the only antidepressant I am taking is Mirtazapine, which is considered the safest on Tinnitus Talk, but unfortunately, it no longer works. I have been taking it for at least four to five years.

I really do not know what to do. I cannot stand the lack of sleep any longer.

 

[lostb1t]

Hey man, sorry to hear you are suffering. I have not left my house in a year. My tinnitus is so loud it goes over everything. On top of that, I am burned out and overstimulated. I can only do a bit of browsing on my phone.

For sleep, I can suggest the following supplements:
Magnesium Glycinate, Lemon Balm, Magnolia Bark, Valerian, Skullcap, Passion Flower.

 

[streifzug]

I feel you. I sit in my room all day as well. My tinnitus gets worse from anything even remotely stressful or loud. When people laugh around me, I get intense anxiety. It is so sad.

 

[MindOverMatter]

I still cannot accept that this has happened, when most people go to parties every weekend without any protection and never develop tinnitus, or develop it only after years without protection.

Sorry to hear about your struggles, @Kam75.

I can relate to your story in many ways. Remember that you are not alone in this. Many people around the world are struggling too.

I have been through hell and back, but I made it through. My first step was to accept what had happened, eventually. Moving forward is simply not possible without letting go of these thoughts, because you cannot undo what is done, and replaying these thoughts in your mind only makes it worse. I speak from experience.

It takes a lot of practice to do this, and for me, it also took therapy. Four years, and I still have follow-up sessions from time to time.

Losing hope is not an option, mate. You can do this.