And the shadows come back...

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by Fran, Jan 1, 2014.

    1. Fran

      Fran Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      And I see no light no more. 24 years fighting this horror and when I thought I could get out of the fight with a draw the monster sucker punched me while wearing earplugs in a music pub. Turns out that earplugs protect me no more if the noise is loud enough... Poor quality earplugs, music way too loud, whatever it was instead having tinnitus in one ear at a level I could handle with maskers now I have several tones (four? I don't know) in both ears at a volume tenfold of what it was before. Now I cannot mask it without having the sound so loud that the masker becomes uncomfortable itself.

      So being paranoid all these years about protecting my hearing was not enough. Limiting my social life to ridiculous levels of isolation was not enough. One single night trying to break that isolation brought me to my knees again... I just can't fight no more. I have no strength left.

      Reading through the forum I see most of you seem to be in the situation I was a few years after the horror began. You seem to pretty much be coping with it waiting for a cure to come but still hanging in there if it does not. I just wonder if there is someone among you that has experienced a constant deterioration of the symptoms throughout the years with every single noisy situation that "normal" people seem to stand just fine.

      I've only met one person whose symptoms were way worse than mine are now, and ye,t he copes with them with grace and peace of mind. He is a monk, I mean literally a monk. At the time seeing his determination helped me a lot but... well... I am not a monk, am I? Still, has anyone among you found ways to handle the beast when it becomes this violent? How do you even manage to have a social life without enraging the monster even more?

      Nothing seems to matter now anyway... I am exhausted.
      • Hug Hug x 2
    2. LeQuack

      LeQuack Member Benefactor

      United States of Europe
      Tinnitus Since:
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Bad luck and bad genes
      It's like I was reading my own story, except I've "only" had it for about 10 years. But the most of these years were good and I didn't think about T often, but this year or two has been dreadful. The more I seem to care for my hearing the worse it becomes, it's like a bad dream that doesn't end.
      • Hug Hug x 1
    3. frohike

      frohike Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic trauma
      Good question.

      Is daily noise unsafe? I often check my iPhone dB meter and see unsafe volume levels in daily situations. It has made me aware of how noisy a big city is. However, I don't know how unsafe it is to be in a full restaurant with an oscillating 80-100 dB (maybe specific to Spain, spaniards are loud). Or walking for a couple hours besides 85dB traffic. Even having an accumulated measure of noise, I don't know what is the effect on hair cells of brief vs long spikes. And I guess that everyone has different ears and brain.

      A slow deterioration is hard to notice. You have no problems communicating until you hit 30% hearing loss. Age related hearing loss is probably a contributing factor. This, being genetic, may not affect everyone the same. Having the means to perform an audiometry at home would help. Probably there is a way to do it with software alone.

      Can a single incident dramatically worsen the condition of a T sufferer? Based on posts like this, some T sufferers are like a canary with bad lungs on a coal mine. Is there an avalanche effect once T starts?

      It's only been 4 years for me and I didn't get any better. I'm relying on self care and a future cure.

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