Anxiously Awaiting the Results

Hi my name is Phil. 48yo and otherwise healthy. I came across TinnitusTalk only yesterday and am glad I did. Here is my story and how/why I found your community and why I became a member.

3 years ago – Went to primary care physician complaining about not being able to hear well (muffled and a sight hiss). Nurse cleaned my ears and what came out shocked me, very dirty. Afterwards I could hear much better. There was still a slight buzzing from what I remember but nothing that overly concerned me. After all they had been so dirty that I just figured they were adjusting to my improved hearing because the crud had been removed.

1 year ago – Cleaned my ears with peroxide, nothing major, not really that dirty, all good. Still a bit of hissing and a few times that my ear (left) would spontaneously buzz very loudly or occasionally feel full or dull feeling. Its difficult to explain exactly. The extra hiss always went away (not all the way but most) so I didn't give it much thought.

3 months ago - I decided to clean my ears with hydrogen peroxide after noticing a pulsating swooshing sound and buzzing that was much louder than I remember. To my dismay my ears were not dirty, just some minor earwax as to be expected. I did notice that while I was cleaning them out I became very dizzy however. Nothing that concerned me I had just put peroxide in my ear right? A few days after cleaning the buzz was still pronounced a maybe a bit worse which concerned me.

1 month ago – Ears still singing, more so than usual, something is obviously not normal here decided to get them checked out. Set an appointment an ENT.

3 weeks ago – Went to my ENT appointment. While performing the initial exam and I mentioned that I have a wooshing sound that tracks with my heartbeat and commenting 'I'm guessing is what most people complain of right?' The ENT said with a very straight face 'No, that is not what most people hear when they have tinnitus'. I also remember him repeatedly asking me if I had any vertigo or dizzy spells recently. He must have asked 3 times in 3 different ways to be sure I understood exactly what sensation he was looking for. The answer was always the same, No. He continued to talk but I have no idea what he said. A specialist just told me that something I was experiencing was not normal. My anxiety had hit an 8 out of 10 and my mind was racing. He scheduled me to come back and take a proper hearing test performed by an audiologist. Over the course of the next few weeks I began paying attention to the sounds, they were getting worse, much worse.

2 days ago – The audiologist performed testing. 20% hearing loss in left ear confirmed with a slight loss of overall general hearing. He immediately ordered 2 tests:
MRI of IAC w/ + w/o Gad
MRA of head w/o Gad.
I just wrote down what was on the prescription sheet I am looking at now. I don't know much about the tests other than they give detailed views of the inside of your head and the Gad is short for Gadolinium which is a dye so they can see what is going on with the blood vessels.

1 day ago - When for my MRI and MRA yesterday.

Today 7/11/2018 – Anxiously awaiting the results with all the psychological 'what if' baggage that accompanies them. Trying to say away from researching it other than reading similar experiences on this site for fear of what I may discover. I'm still trying to work out how I am going to simply cope with what I currently have which is agonizing to say the least. Persistent hiss/buzz in left ear only and a loudish stereo wooshing and high pitched hiss in both ears all the time. Difficulty sleeping, lack of appetite and all the usual types of maladies that come with a very depressing health related prognosis. When I wake up and realize this will not be going away and will most likely never go away I get anxious to the point of a panic attack. This sucks!

I will post again when my MRI/MRA results are in.

Bracing for impact,
Phil

 

@Phil K

First - hello!
Second -- You've landed in a good place for support. I feel fortunate to have found this forum, as well. You said something above that makes a lot of sense, in that you're trying to stay away from researching it right now. I think that makes sense, particularly since you're still waiting for results from the MRI/MRA. Anxiety is a huge component of this thing, and the more you can keep that under control, the better.

My advice is to stick to reading the positive posts here as much as you can right now, (i.e., the 'Success Stories' forum, the positivity threads, etc.) and avoid threads that might add to your stress level (quite often the title of the thread will give you an idea as to whether or not you should open it). There's a lot of very good information here and I've connected with some great folks who are supportive and willing to help and answer questions.

Anyway, that's just my two cents -- that's not to say you won't/shouldn't read some of the other stuff at some point, but it's clear from your post that you're really stressed right now, and since there are so many threads that focus on the positive here, you might do well to stick with those for the time being.

There are a lot of other folks here who are sure to have some input for you, as well.

Keep us updated!

Mystery Reader

 

great advice, @Mystery Reader. i'm going to do my best to heed that myself.

@Phil K - I'm going through a lot of what you're going through right now. Testing... specialists... uncertainties. What-ifs and worst case scenario run through my head pretty much every second I'm awake. It's mentally exhausting and has definitely taken a toll on not only me but my friends, family and career. I've spent (wasted?) dozens and dozens of hours "researching" symptoms and diseases. It's something I've done for YEARS (I also suffer from moderate health anxiety) and I can tell you from loads of experience that Google is not your friend.

Stay positive, be active. Don't wallow in what's wrong because it won't make things better. That's what I'm starting to figure out.

 

Hello Again. My ENT (receptionist actually) called and said my MRI and MRA didn't reveal anything that may be causing be causing my T. This was both good and bad news from what I have read. I have yet to see about possible TMJ causes which the ENT suggested may be worth looking into. So it looks like it is here to stay. This is all so new that it has not really even sunk in yet. My next steps will be looking into Lyme Disease(maybe???) and TMJ. My goal now is to be a realist and not fall into the trap of false hope and thousands of hours of chasing a 'cure' which does not exist as mtoafs mentioned above. I am trying to stay positive about this and all the very real ramifications but it is difficult. I do have the disk with the MRI and MRA results and understand I can send out for second opinions. Any thoughts about if this would be something I should look into?
For now I am just trying my best to say positive, engaged and cope so this does not distroy me.

 

Why do you think that?

Have you experienced any fading compared to how your T sounded back in May?

 

No fading, I perceive it as worse actually. Especially since the Dr. confirmed I do have hearing loss, which I understand is very permanent. As I've said before, when asked about if this would maybe go away the ENT simply said 'no, very doubtful'. I'm actually hoping that some of my current T is caused by stress, and anxiety which can be controlled. I'm having a difficult time as a new T sufferer (just a few months) and perhaps just need some time to de-stress and take it all in. Ultimately I realize that nothing I am experiencing has not been covered on these boards and is nothing new to anyone here, just me. I am admitedly feeling sorry, angry, very scared, very worried and pissed off which only is making me notice it more. There are a few additional avenues for me to explore (which give me a little hope) but if this is going to be a lifelong and perhaps progressive disability I would just as soon 'hit bottom' and begin my recovery and coping.

Answer to Karen, my blood pressue is normal to very good for a person of my age, always has been.

Thanks all.

 

Many deaf people don't experience T, and many T sufferers who have hearing loss experience their T fading. Having said this, the fact that you haven't experienced any fading is not a good sign. Could it be that you are around moderately loud noise a lot?

Some of the tips on
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...eone-else-who-has-tinnitus.26850/#post-307822
might end up being helpful to you.