Autobiography

Discussion in 'Support' started by threefirefour, Jun 10, 2018.

    1. threefirefour
      Peeping tom

      threefirefour Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      California
      Tinnitus Since:
      5/15/16
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      140dB B R U H moment
      I had an intro post (two actually) but neither really explained my journey with tinnitus. So I decided to explain my tinnitus background.

      Back in May 15, 2016, I woke up with loud tinnitus. I assumed it would go away overtime. I didn't know what caused it at the time, but I'm pretty sure it's from wax buildup because I would use earplugs to sleep. After a month I decided to start looking up treatments to make it go away. I ran into tinnitustalk for the first time, but I didn't make an account though.

      I looked through the treatments and success stories section. That's where I first ran into "habituation". I didn't know what that was, but someone described it as "the brain tuning tinnitus out". I misinterpreted that and thought that it was basically a treatment, so I decided to give it a try. The next two months I tried to ignore it. I kept sleeping with earplugs though out of habit. The tinnitus got worse, so I thought I was doing something wrong. I continued to browse more, and it turns out habituation is more like a cruel joke than an actual treatment. Literally it's just "You don't care about it lmao". Nevertheless I tried for a few months more. I tried to ignore it casually for a year. At this point I realized habituation is a massive crock of shit that only applied to mild-sufferers, and we need an actual treatment. At this point I still didn't tell my parents because I felt it was shameful.

      In mid 2017, my tinnitus got worse, and It was about the same volume as putting my ear up to a running fridge. I decided that was it and I was going to kill myself if it didn't get better. So in a last ditch effort, I visited a general doctor. He said that a ton of earwax was built up, and it needed to be removed. I used earwax removal for a few days, and after getting my ears completely cleaned, my tinnitus was gone for a few days after.

      It sadly returned, but at a fraction of the original volume. I also had severe hyperacusis (temporary though, it stopped after a month), and I could hear tinnitus outside easily. I used a Neti pot and the tinnitus volume reduced again. I assumed I had ETD, and in November 2017, I visited an ENT. The ENT confirmed it, and I used flonase for a while. MY tinnitus reduced again.

      Now I can't hear it over a fizzing can of soda, but because it's so reactive I can easily hear it over a freeway. I guess it's an improvement.
       
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    2. dpdx
      Disappointed

      dpdx Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Murica
      Tinnitus Since:
      Onset:09/23/2017 Worsened: 1/17/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma, worsened by caloric test/VEMP test 90db nhL
      That is great. You are actually getting better. Cant say that about myself.
       
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    3. Bill Bauer
      No Mood

      Bill Bauer Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      February, 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      Strange. I told my family about my T, about 15 minutes after I first heard it.
       
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    4. Tinniger

      Tinniger Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Germany
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Uncertain, now very somatic, started with noise?
      Don't be mad at me. But your presentation contains exactly the superficialities that I observe in many anamnesis.
      I don't know if your tinnitus affects both ears!!!
      I don't know what your tinnitus sounds like. Whether it's a tonal tone, a hiss, or maybe something completely different...
      I don't know if your tinnitus has pulsatile elements.
      I don't know if your tinnitus has somatic elements.
      I don't know about the course of your tinnitus, mornig better or worse?
      I don't know your age, I don't know if you have a hearing loss.
      I don't know if you might connect your tinnitus with a noise event or not.
      I'm sorry, but I'm so terribly disappointed at the superficiality of the diagnostics.
       
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    5. Mellow7

      Mellow7 Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      Great to hear of your improvement. Have you had any further luck treating your TMD or neck issues? I remember you mentioning you got rid of your visual snow that way.
       
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    6. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      threefirefour
      Peeping tom

      threefirefour Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      California
      Tinnitus Since:
      5/15/16
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      140dB B R U H moment
      I reduced it a little yeah. I still have VS but it's not as bad.

      I can reduce my tinnitus with a TMJ massage, so I hope to reduce my tinnitus with further treatments, but lightning doesn't always strike thrice.
       
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    7. Mellow7

      Mellow7 Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      I've been approaching it from this angle as of late. I had a marvellous few days last week with jaw relaxation exercises and anti-inflammatory gel. Sadly, it's gone back to what it was before now...

      I also got VS, but none of the other visual phenomena associated with the Syndrome (thank God), but it's always been there (at least for as long as I can remember). I cannot help but relate them all to one another, originating in chronic tension of certain muscles in the neck and jaw regions.

      What do you mean with this btw? Does your T rise with external noise and stay that way for a while after or does it settle together with that external noise? I've had the latter since the onset of T and it boggles my mind.
       
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    8. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      threefirefour
      Peeping tom

      threefirefour Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      California
      Tinnitus Since:
      5/15/16
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      140dB B R U H moment
      They are related. Fusiform cell neurosynchronicity in the subthalamic area of the brain leads to increased neorologic overactivity in other brain areas. This is what lead should to other related symptoms of tinnitus like VS and Brain fog.

      My tinnitus settles down quickly after being exposed to loud external noise.
       
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    9. Daniel95
      Tired

      Daniel95 Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      Approximately 01/10/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      stress/sinus Infection/headphones/maybe antibiotics
      This is a pretty hope-inspiring post actually. I'm glad you've managed to find something that's worked to reduce your tinnitus. It's what I'm doing but I'm slowly losing hope for it. It's nice to read from you that you've accomplished just that. Makes me think I might find some reduction so that I can last until a treatment is found.

      Also admirable that you reject the live-with-it dogma and want a cure.
       
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    10. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      threefirefour
      Peeping tom

      threefirefour Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      California
      Tinnitus Since:
      5/15/16
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      140dB B R U H moment
      1) Yes it does.
      2) Hissing sound.
      3) Yes kind of. In silence there's a quiet pulsatile tone I can hear it with my heartbeat. It doesn't o this if I have no salt.
      4) Yes very much.
      5) Morning bad, evening better, night moderate, midnight very quiet.
      6) I got it at 18. I am now 20. I have no hearing loss. Trust me I checked. Kind of wish I did.
      7) I don't. I stayed home the week before I got tinnitus. No loud sound whatsoever.

      I didn't bother specifying because I felt no need to. I said what my tinnitus was like around the forum so there is no need to be redundant.
       
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    11. Tinniger

      Tinniger Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Germany
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Uncertain, now very somatic, started with noise?
      Thank you for your detailed answer.
      Any problems with sound, hyperacusis ?
       
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    12. dpdx
      Disappointed

      dpdx Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Murica
      Tinnitus Since:
      Onset:09/23/2017 Worsened: 1/17/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma, worsened by caloric test/VEMP test 90db nhL
      Now its my damn turn. You can read how I ruined my life completely.
      My Autobiography

      PART I (THE BEGINING)
      June 2017-August 2017 were the best three months of my entire life. I graduated with two degrees last year during this time. It was the most beautiful and special moment in my entire life. The commencement ceremony made me cry because I spent 7 years in college studying Maths and Economics. I was so curious what will happen next in my life? Where it will take me? I was so excited that I started to look for jobs in Canada and Europe (USA sucks). I was learning French during my free time over the summer and applying for jobs. I was VERY HEALTHY no health issues. Just a regular 27 year old guy enjoying life. Every morning when I woke up I would thank god for this amazing life. I speak multiple languages and have been given a gift of learning languages quickly. Summer 2017 was amazing I went everywhere around the state, to the coast, to the mountains, sipped on a few beers, listened to music on headphones while keeping up in shape. The only health issue I had was TMJ which was very mild. Summer ended with me going on a trip to Europe which was mind blowing. Europe is an AMAZING PLACE compared to USA In every aspect possible. I had so much fun and I made a commitment to get my butt to Europe as soon as a I pay my student loan off which is not huge. I would always listen to my IPOD loudly daily 40 minutes while running outside and even on a trip to Europe on the airplane. I came back to USA from the best vacation of my entire life. I was so positive and optimistic what will happen. Sep 15 I went to a concert and sat next to a speaker (left ear) it felt so loud and uncomfy that I gave my ears a break and went far away from it. September 23 I woke up in the morning and heard a faint hiss. I was shocked and frightened as I didnt know what It was. I went to the GP asap as he told me I have T and that I should live with it. I fell into depression and thought my life was over back then. Tinnitus was loud from Sep 23-27 and I had to sleep with a clock to mask it. I only have T on my LEFT EAR. I was so down that I had it that I thought it was the end of me . My Tinnitus reduced from severe to mild. I was only able to heat in a quiet room and I was able to study, read, watch tv, however I was not able to go to stores, cafes, resturants, malls, etc because it would bounce to severe. I wore an earplug on my left ear for two weeks in OCtober everywhere I went. I was so afraid that it will reach those levels. I went to see an audiologist who told me I have perfect hearing but I damaged some outer cochlea cells. HEaring was perfect in higher frequencies. He reffered me to a crazy ENT Lady after he said its weird that it is only on my left ear but not on the right one. The Crazy ENT lady gave me a list of diseases I could have and denied that I had an acoustic trauma. Some diseases are: Acousitc Neuroma, Meniere disease, Cochlear Hydrops, Thryoid cancer, etc. She told me to do every ear test possible. I did a CT scan in October and it was fine. Then sometime in October I got a nasty spike after being 10 minutes in a resturant. I refrained from going anyplace because it would raise my T. During this time I also had Hyperacusis on my L ear which went away in about three weeks, it developed from overprotection. I noticed eyefloaters were developing something I never really had before.

      PART II ( ENTERING HELL)

      November 22 I was visiting my grandfathers apartments and there were many workers with their leaf blowers. I didnt wear earplugs that day. The leaf blowers were everywhere around the apartment, it was so insanely loud, there were at least 20 of them that day blowing the leaves. After I was leaving the car I had a panic attack (major) that my tinnitus would get worse. I was running away from them to my grandfathers apartment only to fall down on my head and hit the sidewalk (this damaged my TMJ joint). I fell on my right side of the face on the hard sidewalk and from then I had balance problems. The TMJ joint got messed up on the right ear and the cartilage slipped out, thus when I would walk, jump, or run I would hear cracking sound. I had huge balance issues from N0v-Janaury, it was so bad that I couldn't walk. I did an MRI to test for an acoustic trauma Dec 10 which came out normal. I was happy as hell. Tinnitus was very mild and I had no hyperacusis or anything, but then I wondered whether the fall on the head has damaged the vestibular system because I had huge problems with walking.
      Tinnitus was a buzzing sound from electrical wires and electric static sound (like zaps) it was very mild and tolerable.
      Slept 8 hours per night .

      PART III (HELL)
      I did another hearing exam in beginning of January and it was all normal. Drops to 10b on 3hz and 4hz.
      ENT wanted me to do a caloric test which I agreed to, so we can test the vestibular system as well as VEMP. We set this up on Jan 15. I walked in did the caloric test which was water being irrigated into the ear with a mechanic instrument, it wasn't loud at all, it felt like water getting into the ear when you are in a pool. The next test was VEMP, I had to lay on one side and lift my head, the lady put the earplug on my right ear. I heard a loud rumbling sound but it was far in the distance (R ear), which was not supposed to be like that since the ear had a lot of water.We tried to do the vemp again but it didnt work (far away rumbling sound on R ear) because water was still trapped in the ear from caloric test. So I went home with wet ears (tinnitus was still mild), that night I heard clicking on the right ear. Next day I was in the office and I felt this really weird sensation in my ear, like this fluid/wet feeling which I also felt on my L ear when I got T initially. I remember talking to my boss in his office that Tusday Jan 16 and remember a really weird feeling, like I was sensitive to his voice on my R ear.. Jan 17 I get exposed to a fire alarm in the library, Jan 19 I get exposed to helicopter flying over my house very loudly. Jan 19 I noticed Tinnitus was higher. It increased again the following day and then on Jan 22 it turned very severe. I was not able to write on a computer, sleep, eat, concentrate, focus, nothing absolutely nothing. I dont know how I managed to get through that work week. It felt like a jet engine inside my ear literally. Jan 27 I get hyperacusis on my L ear and then Jan 29 I get severe hyperacusis on my right ear. I remember the night before getting severe hyperacusis on my right ear that I was cleaning it with a big towel. I wonder if I had damaged something outside of the ear or the TMJ joint by inserting thick towel inside my ear. All tests were normal and it was revealed that I have high blood pressure because of anxiety.

      Well with extreme tinnitus and severe hyperacusis on R ear and hyperacusis on L ear (also had tinnitus on my right ear also) .i quit my job. Tinnitus dropped form extreme to severe, I was still able to hear it in 80% of places. It wasn't like before. My tones changed also and I got a dentist drill sound which made me get headaches. My tinnitus has never returned to what it was before. February 4 I get a haircut and the lady uses a hair dryer aaaa I was so pissed. February 7 I walk next to a car muffler starting which again irritates my tinnitus. I got an audiologist a third time on Feb 7 and do the same tests I earlier. Well the hearing drops from 5db on 4hz (October) to 25db on 4hz . It went back up with another sound he used but I swear I still hear less on the ear.

      Slept 5 hours per night

      Feburary-March were the worst months as I had a very intrusive sound, like a subway or train stopping over and over and over again. It brought my eye pain and headaches on left side of my head. The high pitched dentist drill and the subway sound screeching would compete for my attention. I was in absolute misery. Severe H on right ear was bad. couldn't talk how much it would cause me discomfort. could turn pages of a book how much it would hurt me.

      Slept 4 hours per night

      April-May Tinnitus on R ear went away and Mild H on left ear remained. Severe H on R ear and Severe T on the L ear remained. No changes. Nothing. I also noticed I began to have more eye floaters and they began to turn dark in my left eye (left vision). Anxiety through the roof, high blood pressure.

      Sleep only 1-4/night

      June- No T on right ear, Mild H on L ear, Severe H on R ear, Severe T on left ear. High piched dentist drill which covers everything just not shower. Also have and Severe Hyperacusis. Urinating, talking to other people, turning pages of the book hurt my ears, me speaking, etc etc. Sleep only 1-4/per night.

      That is that. We shall see what happens in July, August, Sep (1 year anniversary).
       
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    13. dpdx
      Disappointed

      dpdx Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Murica
      Tinnitus Since:
      Onset:09/23/2017 Worsened: 1/17/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma, worsened by caloric test/VEMP test 90db nhL
      There you go folks, how life can change in a year from damn amazing to hell completely. From being optimisic and positive to having dark thoughts about life.
      Once Health deteriorates nothing can bring it back to how it was. Thus those wonderful times I have lived will never ever be brought back, or that state of mind and state of health before T will never be returned. What was stolen from my heart cant be brought back.
       
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    14. Tinniger

      Tinniger Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Germany
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Uncertain, now very somatic, started with noise?
      ...somatic elements?
      What are the somatic elements of your tinnitus?
       
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    15. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      threefirefour
      Peeping tom

      threefirefour Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      California
      Tinnitus Since:
      5/15/16
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      140dB B R U H moment
      Pretty much all of them. I can modulate my tinnitus with any movement, but Movements with my jaw, my neck, or my cheeks make it scream (4x louder)
       
    16. dpdx
      Disappointed

      dpdx Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Murica
      Tinnitus Since:
      Onset:09/23/2017 Worsened: 1/17/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma, worsened by caloric test/VEMP test 90db nhL
      Holy crap.
       
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    17. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      threefirefour
      Peeping tom

      threefirefour Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      California
      Tinnitus Since:
      5/15/16
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      140dB B R U H moment
      It's better than not having somatic tinnitus I guess.
       
    18. dpdx
      Disappointed

      dpdx Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Murica
      Tinnitus Since:
      Onset:09/23/2017 Worsened: 1/17/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma, worsened by caloric test/VEMP test 90db nhL
      I am in agony every day. I didnt sleep last night at all. Severe T on top of that Severe H makes so bad.
       
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    19. Tinniger

      Tinniger Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Germany
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Uncertain, now very somatic, started with noise?
      That's very interesting. How did you "discover" this phenomenon of tinnitus-modulation?
       
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    20. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      threefirefour
      Peeping tom

      threefirefour Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      California
      Tinnitus Since:
      5/15/16
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      140dB B R U H moment
      I noticed when I first got tinnitus. However I learned new ways to modulate my tones. I think the big and best way to tell if your tinnitus is soatic, is to put your hand against your jaw and press your jaw against your hand
       
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    21. Contrast
      No Mood

      Contrast Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Clown World
      Tinnitus Since:
      late 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise injury
      I am still convinced you have some hidden hearing loss.
       
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