Can't Hear Tinnitus in Large Rooms/Sensitive to Every Sound I Do Hear

Does anyone experience this?

I can hardly hear my tinnitus and sometimes cannot even hear it in quiet rooms if the room is large. For example, at the library it is very quiet, but the room is very large so I don't hear anything in my ears. But at home, in a quiet room, I hear it more because my house is very small and the rooms are small. At night I hear it a lot because it's so quiet and it's worse with my head against the pillow. I had an appt. at the bank today and it too was a larger room, but totally quiet and I couldn't hear it.

Another quick question... do you find that you're sensitive to hearing every little sound? While at the bank, I picked up on a hum and it was from the bank rep's computer in her office. I tend to pick up on all kinds of electronic sounds... beeps, hums, etc. Sometimes it gets on my nerves because I'm always thinking, "what is that sound? is my tinnitus getting worse?" But it's always coming from something (fridge, water cooler, fan, etc.)

 

I can always hear my tinnitus, but it's not as intrusive when I'm in a building with hard floors; for example, the hardware store, the post office, the grocery store. I can walk out of the hardware store not even thinking about my tinnitus and then bam! It ratchets up the moment I step outside. It's also louder outdoors than indoors, and louder in smaller rooms.

I've always been sensitive to every sound around me, so there isn't very much difference there. The main difference is that certain sounds bother me a lot more now, such as the microwave oven beeper and that horrid backup beeper used on utility trucks and the like. They make me want to run as far and as fast as I can in the opposite direction.

 

I hear my T most in silent confined spaces and least in expansive spaces with usual background noise. The woods is especially calming; I can often almost lose my T in the light rustle of the wind in the branches (until I look for it, at which point it's right there, just like your nose is always in the middle of your vision...)

 

@coconutprincess, wanna trade? I can hear my T 24/7, it's **killer reactive** so it virtually explodes beyond sanity by any ambient sound, it even gets louder than trains, and on top of that I've severe hearing loss (left ear). So probably a grand bargain.

@erik, that's interesting. I also had developed hyperacusis through a few months prior to T. Now I've got both, and the worst possible forms of them. Maybe hyperacusis is a precursor to T? A warning sign I did ignore at that time.
@linearb, (you must have a strange nose if it's always in the middle of your vision.) Mine definitely isn't unless I cross my eyes. xD
True story, the woods are a calming place also for me; always have been. The wind in the branches of the trees has a somewhat soothing effect.

 

this is me IRL

 

@NiNyu Wow, that must be so hard. I'm sorry it's so intrusive for you How do you cope?

 

@coconutprincess, I don't. I can't sleep. I can't work. I can't function. I can't take it anymore. I intoxicate my body with wine and Tramadol. I need this to end. This isn't life anymore. I hate nature for torturing me/us in this despicable way. It's pure insanity. People that suffer this extreme should be granted a peace pill IMO. But we are not taken seriously. And I doubt that there will be a real treatment for our generation. Perhaps in the next century we've figured something out. Besides the majority of T patients have it **mild** and habituation works for them, which isn't anything but nothing. Just get used to shit. Mask it. Ignore it for a lifetime. Great! Best placebo ever sold.
My goal is to acquire 20g Pentobarbital which is my final ticket to peace. If I don't get it in my country I'm gonna fly all the way down to Peru, the capital of drugs, and get it there.

 

What you've wrote here sounds a lot like how I used to feel, and how I still feel sometimes. I (too?) find it just plain cynical if people immediately say "you'll habituate" or "it'll get better". It's well meant, but at the same time it's ignoring how you feel ("I know your life and future better than you do"). And then then you have to deal with these 'superficial optimistics' on top of everything. Sometimes, the reality is that things just suck. As for the future, things may or not get better, no one knows.

I've searched for all kinds of ways to commit suicide and also found that Pentobarbital, although hard to obtain, is one of the best ways to go. So it sounds like you're very serious about committing suicide and you know what you're doing. There's no way I could know exactly what you're going through, and I'm not here to judge - I can't. I just hope that whatever you choose, it'll bring you what you wanted.

I have no advice or suggestions... nothing to offer, except maybe the idea that there's someone out there who experienced something vaguely similar and cares. I just hope that reading the above provided a tiny bit of relief from your condition. All the best.



(Sorry to dig this thread up, everyone... I just remembered reading this a month ago and seeing it had no replies. I thought it shouldn't go unanswered, but I was too depressed to write something at the time.)