Close to Tears, Panic Has Set In Again

I have been doing so good for the last 2 days or so. The noise was really quiet and I even was able to watch tv without the T ringing over the television noise. Today all morning, the good feelings continued and I was functioning very well at work until all of a sudden the noise is back. It's a different sound then before. More high pitched. Im close to tears and the panic has set in, once again.. When I feel like this, its hard to imagine getting past this all. I'm sure you all are so tired of seeing me post my ups/downs over the last week especially as many of you have dealt with this for much longer then me and I'm sorry for posting so much I just have nowhere else to turn.

 

Natalie,

there is 3 facts about T:

1- loud noises will fade away for most in a year
2- progress is not linear it is 2 step firward, one step backward
3- look at progress monthly not weekly or daily.

Give it time.

 

Natalie,

We're not. It's a support board. Post as much as your heart desires. But my feeling in general for my own recovery was that staying away from this site early on and staying away from wallowing was actually the best thing for me. Went out in the sunshine with my gf and enjoyed a walk in Central Park or sitting at a restaurant in the Village. I know you're pregnant (and it's getting cold), but if you can get up and about for a bit to take your mind off of it (outside is the one place that I can't always hear my tinnitus. maybe the shower, too. about 50/50 for both, but they both offered me relief), then maybe that's a good idea. Have you considered talking to a professional about your anxiety/depression? You're a young lady, and you've got so much to look forward to in your life. Can't judge yourself day to day based on your tinnitus (easy for me to say, I know). This is, unfortunately, a long process, and yours is made more difficult by having to care for another right now. I know that it's hard to believe, but you're going to get through this. Go to the success stories and look at all the powerful and positive messages there.

Good luck,

Eric

 

Thank you for your reply. Its so strange how you will be doing perfectly fine then all of a sudden, seemingly for no reason it is set off again.. I am seeing a therapist specalizing in anxiety disorders and meditation training privately 1x a week and in a group session 1x a week (2x total in one week). I've only been seeing her now 2 weeks so its very new. I've also talked to my obgyn about the anxiety/depression but she really wants me to hold off on anxiety medications for now. She did prescribe me a higher dose of antihistamine to treat mild anxiety attacks (safe for pregnancy) which I've used 3 times in the last month when absolutely needed. She also recommended accupuncutre for anxiety/stress relief to try to manage everything else so I'm looking into that.. I also went and treated myself to a massage last night and scheduled additional next week. I'm really trying so hard to stay positive but it seems like I'll be having a great day then all of a sudden the anxiety just knocks me on my butt for a bit. Exhausting cycle. Being outdoors helps me too, strangly enough the noise isn't as loud outside so I do try to spend some time outside.. Thank you for your positive comments, it helps me put my situation back into perspective and calm down a bit. The success stories have helped me tremendously! I also got a call from a clinic that does TRT and other Tinnitus treatments this morning and I told them I felt ok the last few days so I didn't think it was needed.. Now, its like wait a minute.. maybe I should go. Or maybe I should keep trying to ignore the noise and see how it continues to improve. So many questions.

Thanks again Eric.

 

I've been looking at progress hourly. Thats how freaked out this makes me.. I will try to just take it as it comes and roll with it and really control my anxiety when the noise fluctuates or changes.. I appreciate your reply.

 

TRT costs dough, so I'm not going to push you one way or another on that. I know that it has some impressive stats for helping people. I personally used CBT (maybe 10 sessions) and I started to make a nice turn for the better around 4 months. I couldn't fall asleep with headphones on 7 months ago without taking ambien. Now I've even stopped masking at night. There's nothing special about me. You'll get there too. I know that often this doesn't help when someone tells you this when you're suffering so badly. I wouldn't have believed it either a few months ago. But if you're already having good days mixed in, and you're only a month or so in (and pregnant), I feel pretty safe in saying you're going to be just fine.

Good luck,

Eric

 

Yes, they said they don't accept insurance so the initial visit is pretty pricey at $200 for the first visit and I'm not sure where it goes from there, but if it could help I suppose it would be worth it. Yes! It's only been just over 3 weeks and I have had several good days where only a few hours out of the day are harder then others or I can tune it out or don't even hear it. So I think that's great news. Just trying to adjust to this newer loud sound I have going on now. I haven't thus far been able to mask because it seems like my noise is higher then most sounds I can find and certian nosises aggravate it. It sounds like you have made a lot of progress on your own! Are you referring to cognitive brain therapy? What did that entail for you If you don't mind me asking.

 

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. @Dr. Hubbard, and perhaps the other docs on here are practitioners of this method. It's basically therapy sessions that help (or should I say that helped me personally) to soften your attitude toward tinnitus, help you to cope with it better, all in an effort to speed up or at least help habituation along. Obviously it also costs money. But you don't have to actually see a doctor for it. there are books that can help you with some of the methods.

http://www.amazon.com/Tinnitus-Self...pebp=1447797430958&perid=176M1R5R593PZ4YZ80Y9

Of course, this one's like a hundred bucks (sorry), but it's pretty well reviewed by people, and I had it recommended to me. I don't know which (if either) method is better between CBT and TRT, b/c I only used CBT. I have no idea which is would cost more or less in the long run. Only you can make the decisions as far as what help you need. But if you're interested in CBT, then I'd start by looking up Dr. Hubbard's contact information (he seldom writes on this site anymore, but I know he's still practicing and helping people with tinnitus), and see if maybe he can help you find a practitioner in your area. But since you're doing ok a lot of days, and you have such a good support system around you, maybe just waiting it out a bit longer and seeing if you improve on your own is the ticket. Only you can decide that. I hope you don't need either method. But good to know that they're there.

good luck,

eric

 

I will look into the book and ask my therapist about Cbt. I suffer from OCD as well so I'm sure I am exaggerating my symptoms with my own obsessive thoughts as well. I don't mind spending the money if it will help in the long run. The sooner I can learn to deal with this or see improvement the better. I have lots of little people depending on me to be happy and healthy.


Thanks again so much for your helpful replies . I've found so much support here.

 

That's interesting to hear about your daughter. I've read on a few sites if this happening but not a lot of positive outcomes so to hear one from you really helps me keep my mind positive instead of focusing on the negative. Thank you for your kind reply and helpful story of encouragement . You guys are great.

 

Hang in there mate, I've had t since august, since then I've had two periods of time, first was a week, when it's got to me, brought me to tears you name it. But in the middle of it all I felt fine, it was still there but I wasn't bothered by it.
I'm currently having another bad week, having trouble sleeping etc and when I think about why it's because I'm obsessing over it, always looking for it just hoping it's gone. I sit and watch TV and don't even pay attention because I'm focused on my tinnitus.
It sucks but there is light!

 

T is usually unstable the first months after onset. Expect changes. Its probably gonna settle down eventually. Give it time

 

My tinnitus changed so much the first month and a half. I remember it started as a very, very mild buzz. Then 3 weeks later it became more high pitched and not so mild. Mine kept getting worse and worse. Every time I would start tolerating the change, I'd get another change. This happened a couple of times. Eventually my T became a more tolerable because it became a very easily maskable hiss. It's not as mild as it was in the beginning, buts it's still mild and better than it was when it changes 3 weeks after onset. Occasionally it changes to high pitched again but that last no more than an hour.

 

Matfromaust, thats how mine is. I can't really watch tv most of the time because the noise comes above the tv volume or is amplified by it so I have a hard time enjoying the evenings when we used to just sit relax and talk about our days while we watched our favorite shows. I'm sorry you're having a bad week. Luckily I haven't had too much difficultly sleeping and I'm able to fall asleep without masking the sound. I haven't really been able to find a sound that masks this noise anyway. :/ Thanks for your supportive reply.

Jesse, I hope you are right. Mine seems to vary throughout the day mornings and evenings being the worse, midday is much more tolerable for some reason. This has just been a very hard thing to deal with physically and emotionally. Learning the ups/downs and trying to control panic. Its very hard for me. I appreciate you taking the time to reply

YES!! Mine keeps changing too. But, to be fair I think for the most part the noise has lessened over the last 3 weeks however I still am not at a pitch that is easily maskable. I don't hear it when I'm outside or preoccupied usually and it so far isn't impacting my sleep too much (I don't sleep a ton anyway, being pregnant). I think the worst part is dealing with the anxiety of the unknown with T. There is just so much they don't know about how your body will react with the T and that to me is frustrating. I'm just hoping mine improves after pregnancy because this has been difficult. Also, I'm not sure if any of you have this happen, but I'm noticing myself getting anxiety any time I hear a soft foreign noise like oh gosh, is that in my head or can other people hear it too? THAT'S ANNOYING..