Dealing with People Who Don't Care About Your Hyperacusis

Hi.

I have been living in an apartment building for just over 3 years. It's relatively quiet most of the time around here, but there are lawnmowers going around and other work on the building regularly. Ordinary, necessary stuff like that. Once in a while, I ask the 2 janitors (a couple) how long, for instance, certain noisy work in or around the building might last, so I can prepare myself to get up at a certain time the next day and leave the building if sounds get too loud in my apartment. I don't believe I overdo it. In every other way, I believe I am a courteous and responsible tenant.

Over the last while, I had been sensing that perhaps they did not want to be bothered with my questions about noise. I was not sure. After all, what's wrong with taking 15 seconds to ask '"How long will those guys work on the roof?" and then getting a reply?

Anyways, things came to a nasty head yesterday. I was abruptly awakened by drilling right outside my door. I scrambled to get my clothes on, and put on my ear protection. During a pause in the drilling, I went out and asked the janitor if they could just pause the work for 5 minutes while I got properly dressed and then left. Well, the guy went ballistic! He said, NO, there would be no pause, this is us costing money, leave us alone. NO consideration for my ear problem whatsoever, which they knew about! Then I got into an argument with the guy, asking him why he was being so insensitive? What's a few minutes? Then he started screaming at me and threatened to punch me. I could not believe it. And he had seemed so considerate in the first 2 years of my living there (he had popped a fuse slightly a year back over something trivial, but no threats).

Anyways, this has left me shaken. I told them I would never ask about noise again. And I am afraid of this guy's unexpected and unjustified rage now.

Over the many years that I have had hyperacusis, most people have treated me OK, but there have been some nasty incidents. This was the worst.

Has anything like this happened to any of you? Can you tell me about your stories?

Thanks,
Marc

 

@Marc22, I totally understand your frustration, and I know the feeling 100%.

That being said, I'm afraid there ain't much to do about this (protect and get out as soon as possible if you have to).

You can not expect other people to understand the situation. Even if you were to tell some stranger straight out that you have hyperacusis, they wouldn't even know what it is - and most wouldn't care.

That's just how the reality is...

But being unfriendly, like you described he was, seems totally unnecessary. And I do agree, why not just pay the respect and wait 3 minutes.

 

You’re a much nicer person than I am. I would have gladly fought him. I’m sorry that happened to you. People suck. If there’s anything I have learned with having severe noxacusis, it’s you must stay away from people. It’s the only way to deal with this if you got it bad, or else you will keep getting worse and worse.

You gotta get your own place, obviously easier said than done because it takes lots of money. Most of my noxacusis friends are having the same issue, people, family or roommates hurting their ears and causing them to worsen.

Not fun living with this. Hang in there.

 

Thanks for your responses!

 

We’re living in an ever more noisy world that will never in a million years accommodate people like us unfortunately. People don’t understand. It pisses me off sometimes.

 

@Marc22, I am so sorry to hear these maintenance workers are being insensitive to your medical needs. I wish I'd seen this discussion thread a lot sooner.

My advice to you (if you're still living in this apartment complex and dealing with these maintenance workers) is to speak to the building manager about it in a very calm, diplomatic fashion. Tell them you have a legitimate medical condition that causes genuine discomfort in your ear and that you're not just annoyed or inconvenienced. Call it by the proper name — loudness hyperacusis if it's just too loud, or noxacusis if it's not just loud but painful. I don't know if it would be overkill or not. Still, maybe you could also consider printing something off your computer that explains what this condition is so that your manager knows it's a real condition, not some fake medical condition that you made up in order to attract sympathy.

I hope this helps. If not at this apartment complex, maybe in any future place you might move to.

I also live in an apartment, so I totally understand how frustrating it can be to be trapped in your own home while something noisy is happening just outside your door.