MemberFrom a psychological view point, I have had a tough life.
A totally isolating childhood.
Chronic loneliness.
Desperation.
A complete absence of bonding.
A mentally crippled mother who could give me nothing.
Years of mental illness, severe chronic depression, an existence of schizoid detachment from other people.
I would have preferred to be dead.
In my twenties, I had a referral to a psychiatric hospital that offered only drug treatment, which I had, and electro-convulsive therapy, which I refused.
After six months I discharged myself.
This was followed by some years of privately funded analytical psychotherapy, which began to help me.
And now, through the inconsideration of one musician 'friend,' who caused me severe acoustic trauma, I had complete sudden onset deafness in my left ear.
Hearing came back, but was followed by hearing loss, and loud, intrusive, chronic Tinnitus.
That was four years ago.
My Tinnitus is still just as loud to this day.
During my mental illness, I learnt to be a hero.
I had to sustain myself until my psychotherapy started to relieve the despair.
Eventually, with tremendous help from my adoreable, loving wife, I achieved 'healing.'
And now, with the loss of my 'peace and quiet' I have to learn a new kind of heroism, based on stoical acceptance.
Two massive traumatic experiences.
I survived the first, and I intend to survive the second.
A totally isolating childhood.
Chronic loneliness.
Desperation.
A complete absence of bonding.
A mentally crippled mother who could give me nothing.
Years of mental illness, severe chronic depression, an existence of schizoid detachment from other people.
I would have preferred to be dead.
In my twenties, I had a referral to a psychiatric hospital that offered only drug treatment, which I had, and electro-convulsive therapy, which I refused.
After six months I discharged myself.
This was followed by some years of privately funded analytical psychotherapy, which began to help me.
And now, through the inconsideration of one musician 'friend,' who caused me severe acoustic trauma, I had complete sudden onset deafness in my left ear.
Hearing came back, but was followed by hearing loss, and loud, intrusive, chronic Tinnitus.
That was four years ago.
My Tinnitus is still just as loud to this day.
During my mental illness, I learnt to be a hero.
I had to sustain myself until my psychotherapy started to relieve the despair.
Eventually, with tremendous help from my adoreable, loving wife, I achieved 'healing.'
And now, with the loss of my 'peace and quiet' I have to learn a new kind of heroism, based on stoical acceptance.
Two massive traumatic experiences.
I survived the first, and I intend to survive the second.
