Hi guys, I am back to TT! Two weeks ago I decided to leave this site but as a matter of fact I have been logging in almost every single day. I thought that to stop reading about T would help me, that´s why I ´ve tried to stay away from this forum. However I have kept on educating myself and my condition improved, so I do not see why I should not participate in this forum and talk to you, get support and also help others. That is why I am going to write a journal so as @AnneG has done in order to track my progress and possibly help other people. I got T 2 months ago because a middle ear infection. The Dr told me not to worry, "it will go away", but it has not done it. The first month I pannicked and had lots of anxiety, which made my t horribly loud. Then the noise started to decrease week by week and has remained the same for the last three weeks. I can hear it in a quiet street and slightly in the subway. Besides there has been a great improvement, my T is more static and less reactive to sounds. Yesterday was my T second month anniversary, I have never thought I woud have had "it" for such a long period of time. There have been ups and downs along the way, but the good days are taking over the bad ones (but still feel very down twice a weel) To a large degree it is thanks to several threads that I´ve read over and over again. I am more possitive. Everyday I accept better my condition (WHICH I THINK IS THE FIRST STEP) However I still get really bad days..... like today. I cried A LOT. I felt miserable. I was gotten by "The Loop" "Why does this happen to me? --- Why didn´t I treat my infection earlier? ----- I am so young to have this (26) ---- I will never be able to concentrate again---------- My life is ooooover.-------- ALL NEGATIVE SHIT THAT JUST LEAD ME ANYWHERE, I said to me, and I stopped playing that game. That has spiked my T to the level I had 3 weeks ago, it has decreased while I write this thread. So I am going to write down some rules that I hope will help me for the next month: FIRST -- Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Enough. It is easy to fall into that game. "What it is, it is". As simple as that. SECOND - Do not monitor it. Do not cover your ears to check whether it has decreased or increased. That makes you to depend on the T level. "If it is high I am sad. If it is low I am happy". It does not work like that. THIRD- Accept. Accept. Accept. Stop wishing it to go away. That does not depend on me or anyone and only makes me suffer, as meeruf beautifully said in a thread a couple of days ago. FOURTH - Reduce your emotional reaction to it. FIFTH - Visit TT only three days a week. That will be a tough one though See you around lovely people!